I believe that some of you have experience seeing or sending your friends or relatives to nursing homes. There are nursing homes in Singapore, JB, Malacca, etc. We may not have seen them all. If we dont get a chance to live and die in our own homes, we may have to be settled in a nursing home, either by our own choice or our children’s choice.
Just to keep this topic in perspective, by nursing home, I am not referring to hospice homes. For some, a nursing home is a place to live our retirement days, to recuperate, to find friends and to live where there is nursing or medical care. Our turn will come, or I mean, my turn will come; so I like to explore the nursing homes options while we are still alive.
What is your experience with nursing homes? Where is it? where is it? what services do they provide. And, importantly what does it cost to stay in a nursing home that you know. To what extent does the cost include food, medicine, nursing care, the gym or swimming pool or even a trip to the hospital. Is it convenient from where we stay, and are friends and relatives allowed to visit. Are the rooms individual or are they individual houses. If you have experience, please share with us. If you have not been in touch with one, please do not point to any website/URL. We rather hear from you directly.
Terence Seah
My mother-in-law suffers from advanced dementia. She fell and hurt herself twice when she was living in her own home. She had a maid who slept in the same room as her and also my sister-in-law who helped with the care giving. Nonetheless, my MIL would wake up in the middle of the night and walk around the house. It was the last fall she had – she dislocated her hip bone and had to have an operation, whereby family members thought about putting her in a nursing home. Basically, the doctors recommended she has 24/7 nursing care as it is too risky for her to have another fall.
Subsequently, checks were made as to WHERE my MIL can stay as obviously my sister-in-law and the maid were not trained to provide nursing care. Furthermore, due to the stress of being responsible for the physical welfare of my MIL, the maid wanted to quit her job and even my sister-in-law had anxiety attacks. None of the other children could take over the care of my MIL due to full-time jobs and/or concerns about being ‘liable’ for another accident at home.
After checking out a couple of reputable homes, my MIL is now at the All Saints Nursing HOme in Poh Huat Road. She is in a 4 beds room and I believe there are 6 bedders as well. The Nursing Home is beside the All Saints Memorial Chapel. My MIL gets physiotherapy every morning to strengthen her legs and because she has lost her appetite to eat she is put on tube feeding.
So far the family members are satisfied with the 24/7 nursing care provided. The monthly fee is @ $2500 for my MIL. That includes adult diapers, doctors’ consultation fees and ambulance’s transportation fees when she has to go to the hospital for her monthly checkups.
The fees are affordable as it is split between 6 of my MIL’s children.
A friend of ours from Singapore decided to check out the Nursing homes here in JB for her dad.We brought her to the one she requested and she was impressed with the facilities.The next day she brought her dad to check it out and he immediately decided he wanted to stay.Chareges for a 6 bedder is RM1500/-(excluding diapers).The only hassle is stamping of the passport every month.
More info will be provided if requested.
JB resident
Hi Rosalind, your feedback on All Saints Nursing home will be valuable, as we hear and compare the picture of nursing homes around us.
And Hi Daniel, our JB resident, you have provided info on nursing homes in JB. Please elaborate more with information that you know. For example, how clean and food standards. Tk.
Terence Seah
Hi SHCians
Early last year my 90yr old mother’s senility plus her toiletting steadily worsened, in May’09 my fully retired retired elder brother whom my mum was staying with, put our mother in Ling Kwang Home which is located towards the end of SSerangoon Garden Way. All bus drivers of feeder service No.317 from Serangoon Central Interchange(Circle Line) will inform one where to drop off as the bus do not pass in front of the Home.
Ling Kwang Home for the Aged is a three-storied building with a basement carpark and two well-kept classroom-sized gardens with a fishpond each for visitors to “walk” the residents during visiting hours between 8am-8pm.
With my mother’s church subsidy, the monthly fee is $970plus which includes meals and healthcare. Physiotherapy is thrice weekly. Ling Kwang is a well-run Home staffed with a majority of foreign workers, females mostly from Philippines, Sri Lanka, China, Myanmmar.
The Home accept all races and religion of the residents.
Regards
Abel Tan
I remember Ling Kwang Home as a clean, peaceful and very well run home.
Many years ago my wife manage to put a homeless man there for free. The man was living in Pulau Ubin on his own depending on villagers to hand him food. He subsequently became too weak to go to the toilet. My wife and a few friends hosted him down, clean him up and put him in Ling Kwang Home. We visited him a few occasions after that and I notice he was clean and well looked after by the staff at the home.
So they do also accept homeless and penniless people.
I don’t think you need to shit on your pants to get accepted.
I had a bad experience when one my relative’s retarded
daughters was put there about 15 years. At that time,
the monthly rate was $800 (market rate at that time), the
service was lacking and the staff rather unfriendly.
On several occasions when my relatives n me visited, their
daughter’s diaper was soacked with shit and urine and
have not been changed for a couple of hours. She developed
sores to her buttock later on and more medical bill
required later to treat her condition.
The nursing home I mentioned was Nightingale in Braddell
Road.
Sorry if this is negative news, just I feel uncomfortable
if I don’t share out to warn my dear members.
james
So far, we have feedback on 5 nursing homes in Singapore. Guess there are good and bad experiences. Monthly costs seem to vary between $1000 and $2500.
Looks like my target $1000 per month is not enough.
Are there other nursing homes in Singapore and nearby JB, where you have experienced the services?
Terence Seah
Hi Terence Seah,
You are still Young and Kicking. Why worry unduly over nursing homes at this moment ?
Let nature takes its course. Perhaps 30 yrs. from now, you can start worrying.
My late mother was in and out of nursing home for the last 10 years. She just passed away.
From experience, if you are not eligible for subsidy, the cost per month is around $2,200, not including complications.
From personal observation, if you are old but still healthy, don’t even consider nursing homes. The ability of the staff to look after in-mates are limited, given the staff to in-mates ratio. You will need to adjust your life-style and expectation.
Hi ConradT #9,
It’s a pity, we usually dont hear of nursing homes with good names. Only Rosalind had good experience with the All Saints home.
Hi StevenN #8,
Probably this subject is not something that we like to talk about when we are still alive and strong. Even, my son asked me why I have to raise this subject. Guess when we reach the stage to be admitted into one, it wont be us to admit ourselves.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence,
The comments were made by Steven CHAN not me.
By the way if nursing home is too costly, we can alway consider day care centre.
My mother is inflicted with dementia about 20 months back. It got worst after she has a fall. She was in Tan Tock Seng Hospital followed by step-down-care hospital at AMK. It cost us almost $15,000 for about 2 weeks in TTSH followed by a month in AMK Hospital. It cost us almost $10k in AMK as we are not entitled to any subsidy.
When she was discharge from AMK we send her to day care centre around our place – St Luke’s ElderCare which cost us about $500 (including physiotherapy) a month. We get our maid to accompany her in a wheelchair to St Luke on every Mon, Wed and Friday. It’s quite near our place and start from 9 in the morning to 3.45 in the afternoon.
Beside sourcing for choiced nursing home, I think is good to think about submitting Lasting Power of Attorney for ourself. I definitely want someone I trust to takecare of me and my estate when I reach a stage that I cant make decision.
Hi StevenN #11 and StevenC,
When it’s our turn to stay indoors, I guess many of us Singaporeans will have a maid to look after us. Nursing homes seem to be the solution, if there are no other choices.
You mention the possibility of subsidy; may i ask you what is this subsidy? I didn’t realise that there are subsidies for nursing home.
Hi JaneW #12,
Interesting point you raised re Lasting Power of Attorney. Usually we only think of our loved ones or our left behind ones to pick up the bits and pieces. Sounds like a difficult job for someone to hold the PA.
Terence Seah
Terence, I beg to differ from what other members say about it being too early to plan for our twilight years.
I reckon it is good to make arrangements for ourselves BY ourselves. In fact, I totally agree with you that nursing homes are excellent choices if and when we reach the stage in the near future whereby we need 24/7 nursing care.
In years to come, there will definitely be more new homes to accomodate the aging population.
There are some criteria that I personally would want from a nursing home.
1) no reeking smell of urine or excrement;
2) clean bedsheets, pillow that are changed everyday;
3) the right to change beds if whoever it is sleeping next
to me makes a ruckus day and night;
4) space. Space to get around on a wheelchair and preferably
with a well-kept garden
Cheers for now
Ros
It is true that living in a nursing home is no holiday. So here are some ways you can avoid it.
1. Go back in time to China, when children do look after parents.
2. Get a dedicated partner who will remain healthy and willing to take care of you when you are old and invalid.
3. Make sure he/she can read poetry.
4. Have enough money to pay professionals for home care.
5. Have rich children willing to pay for your nursing care at home.
6. Go and get knock down by an MRT train, a bus or a car before you get too old.
7. Get a heart attack or a fatal stroke early.
8. Cancer can also do it but more painful and costly.
9. Make Euthanasia legal.
Let me know if you can think or other ideas. I am trying to figure out which solution to use.
Meanwhile, I also psyche myself to live with noise next to me, sit on my poo for a few hours, look at blank wall for entertainment and laugh at my own jokes.
Sometimes I think it is not our problem because our minds can be so far gone that we may be oblivious to our surroundings. Only those who love us will suffer from guilt.
Well, I guess the donee/donees are usually also the beneficially of the estate.
Ya, if somebody has their loved ones or left behind ones to pick up the bits and pieces, then everything would be taken care of by them. Also with LPA, is easier for your love ones to carry out all the necessary action, eg. manage ur property, bank acct etc.
But for people that are alone (could be single or married), then has someone u feel trusted be nominated to look after you is important. If not even you have ur choiced home also no use.
just my 10cents worth of comment.
Tian Soo @ #15
Re your suggestion no 2.
Can help me to look for one :)
Bald also can. Heee!
Cheers
Carly
Hey TS
Would like to go through the points while you are figuring out which solution.
1 You can’t go back in time.
2 Good luck.
3 Kekekekee.
4 Sigh….if only.
5 Again, Good Luck.
6 Yes! Very doable!!
7 Hopefully it’s quick; must make sure not to resusitate.
8 Worse option.
9 Absolutely! Should be legal to allow a person to choose to end one’s suffering. Very cruel to have the trapped soul screaming to get out of the grotesque shell.
Sometimes it is a good thing to be mad and spend the remaining days giggling, laughing and not recognizing anyone.
Those who love us may not necessarily suffer from guilt.
Other ideas? Enjoy life before having to opt out of it or illnesses strike.
Caroline #17,
Add in slit eyes, and it would be most perfect – hehe.
Dear Geraldine @#18
Love your answer to no 9. Also agree with you about being mad. Dont know, dont hurt.
Aiyo I look at your answer and then i scroll up to see the suggestion. I then scroll down and look at your answer then I scroll up to see the suggestion. Makes my head go round.
Dear Lina @#19
Hahaha you remembered what I told you. Yup, bald headed with slit eyes – the one I am looking for.
Cheers
Carly
Caroline darling
Having to scroll up and down is indeed stressful. Did the same when I answered.
Ahh…….now we know what you’re looking for.
Hahaha Geraldine Dear
Sounds like Charlie Chan minus his pigtails :)
Luv
Carly
I like to share my comfort with the said SHC members who are coping and caring for aged sick and invalids, my mother was in hospice before she “took the bus” and it was indeed heart wrenching, going through that period.
I also wish to mention that I working on a plan in Yunnan; the nearest province of China to Singapore to open a small retreat guesthouse specifically for folks who needs to recover from trauma or medical conditions, or just stay away from people and work, enjoy the fresh not so crisp air, the bacteria destroying infra red ray sunshine and very cheap veges and fruits. We also have lots of massuers; deaf and dumb, normal or otherwise, suitable for those of us who constantly have cold feet or hands and even shoulders. The weather is perfect, spring 365 days, you won’t perspire unless you are in the hotspring pool or sauna. Except for the current airfare to yunnan, the cost if very manageable, definitely cheaper than Sg or our neighbouring countries. And Mandarin and English is usable. So if any more of our SHC folks like to consider doing this with us, please email me or sms me. Those who have been to Yunnan would have my mobile and email.
If prevention is our cure, then this place/project will work. This is also a good place for us to take monthly retreat, rehabilitation and writing of books or volunteering our expertise to develop the local chinese.Think about it.
My next trip is early December 2010 and another one in second half of February 2011.
Hi Feztus #23,
Very nice of you to share your plans on a retirement retreat in China, Yunan. How far are you into this project? Share your dates for the Dec trip; I would like to join you. TK.
Terence Seah
Hi Feztus #23,
I have been envisaging about a short term stay in Yunnan where the climate is good, the scenry is beautiful and the living expenses are low. Further language is not a problem.
Please keep me posted
Robert Ong
Hi Feztus
Please check your email.
Thanks!
Hi Feztus,
I have not been to Yunnan but heard it is nice and serene. Appreciate you can keep me posted too. Thanks!
janie
hi janie, i don’t have your email or mobile contact, i need to know how to contact you.
hi feztus…my email is janie_lys@yahoo.com.sg
My 80 year old mum suffers from minor dementia had been in & out of Hospital due to fall and bed sore, currently at ST Luke Hospital for 8 mths bedridden. Try goverment subsidy nursing home either waiting list or unsuccessful. She stay alone. Where to find cheap nursing home, Cant afford private one which is too expensive.
Hope I dont live too old to suffer like my mum
Thank
sglee
lsweeguan@yahoo.com