Dear friends
A chance remark recently by a fellow member whilst we were socialising, prompted me to comment on the
above.
The first Iconic CCM I came across was in the early 70s when the mahjong host(a friend’s friend) wife literally had to cater to the four players’ needs – preparing the table, serving refreshments and after we stopped by 5pm for happy-hour drinks, she had to walked up and down from the third level as the elevator stopped at the 5th level(Stirling Rd, Queenstown flats) to cross the road and buy Or-luak, chai-tow-kuay and rojak and two bottles of stout and mind you she was mid-way pregnant with her first child.
After serving us the food as well as getting the utensils, she had to wiped off the iced-water stains spilt earlier by her husband and minutes later to mop off some chilli sauce carelessly spilt by yours truly. The host had discouraged a friend to render assistance with the remark "not to worry…..leave it to her…….
woman’s job".
My take is up to the mmid-70s, a woman when admitting she had a husband which has turned out to be below par, would console herself with the thought "Well, its just my hard luck, but at least I have a family and children. Just look at Ah Choo, approaching 30 like me, in fact some months older than me, and still with no prospect in sight" But two decades later, this below-par husband would have been chucked off,
"Good riddance!"
Increased intellectuality and economic independence means the female’s attitude and mannerism now do intimidate some "lacklustre" males. Parental influence to some extent navigate one’s selection of absolute pragmatism. "He smokes, you smoke……..who is going to stop smoking if you want to have a baby next time" "Son, I don’t think you can afford her, she’s a single child you know, chauffered throughout from young" "Your wife will still be working after marriage…..so, no need to serve you coffee, even once in awhile?" "Yes, you’re lucky, he’s well-off, but see that his mother in future don’t "lord" over you, cause rich women tend to ‘knuah suay simpu boh lew’. These were comments I overheard at my family’s clan- gatherings through the years. Perhaps, Peranakans tend to be more concerned over their childrens’ marriage selections.
My take is unless one upholds the thought that "man is meant for procreation" then pragmatism will prevail.
Regards
Abel Tan
Abel-T, my reading of your CCM and LAF write-up tells me the story of a Clobbered Concussed Man roughed up by a Lazy Aggressive Female, yeah?
Yes, time men to clamour for the Men’s Charter.
Hi Abel,
I must have been reading this post of yours 3-4 times, trying to comprehend the view that you may be taking. Glad that you are still keeping in touch with family members and fellow SHCians.
My parents left me 10 years ago. So, in some ways, I am blessed with not having to listen to their old traditional thinking. I guess, like many of us, we have become more liberal, more open and less demanding on the opposite sex. So, we help out with home chores, look after the kids and grand-parents and be moer understanding of our spouses.
Unfortunately, as we move towards a more liberated society, we or our children may forget traditions, culture and family ties. This morning, the papers were talking about mediation between children and parents being made compulsory, and soon to be, mediation between men and women.
Abel, I wouldn’t be too disturbed by such trends. We move on with our lives. If we think about the disasters in Japan, we would probably see more light in our dreams, our hopes and our wishes.
Terence Seah
Hi Steven Chan, I have to apologise not able to make it to St Joseph home on the 8th of May, therefore could not give you a ride. I hope you get this message so that you do not wait for my ride on that day. Josie Yow