Last week we watched on TV, a video clip of this frail old woman sitting naked under a running fan. She then get toss onto her bed unceremoniuosly like a sack of manure. Whilst on the bed, she got slapped for groaning.
I am sure this scene get repeated in other old folks home and indeed in normal households. YOU may eventually be the next victim!!
The incident shows that money cannot buy care. You can pay the nurses 3 times more than thay can get at home but you cannot get them to care for you unless they have it from within. You can give your children all your wealth and intelligence but that does not mean they will care for you. Our Ministers gets 100 more salary than an average citizen ………(censored by author)
This post is to solicit ideas on how WE can avoid being ill treated when we get real old.
Here are a few ideas which comes to my mind….just for discussion.
We have to show care to others and hope divine justist exist.
Give caregivers kindness and hope they will return kindness.
Give them money, little at a time, in return for a little care each time.
Tell them the video camera is watching and recording them.
Tell them GOD is watching them?
Tell them about Hell, for people who mistreats the old.
Have policeman stationed in all old folks home.
…more….
Wow, this must be one of the best discussion posts to have started this year. Tian Soo, I too have asked the people around me. Here’s I share some of the ideas.
1. Don’t ever enter a Home, or get thrown into one. The family members will look after you. This really frightens me. Today’s people are so busy, they have to go to work, leave you at home, hopefully, at the end of the day, come home to feed you 3 spoons of porridge and then put you in front of the TV. This cannot work. So, blank again.
2. This one is ideal. Try standing up when nobody is around, put a banana skin on the floor, walk over it, slip and never wake up again. But, how? No bananas in the house. Worse, a few bones get broken.
3. Aiyah, no choice, still need some help. A maid at home, or a nursing home with nurses. I have always dreamt of being taken care off in a home, somewhere facing the sea, maybe in Chonburi, Rayong or even in Chennai. No body from Singapore will get to see me, it’s just too far, and not worth the effort. Nobody will get to know if I am being thrown around, or naked the whole day. Just, when someone gets a call in Singapore, it’s just to come and collect the ash, and sprinkle them all over the Indian ocean.
So, it doesnt really matter if one is naked, and get thrown onto a bed. They just got to make sure not to accidentally drop the body, fall onto the floor or hit the head against the bed frames.
Nurses have feelings and frustrations too. Imagine at that age, we poo a few times a day, pee pee anytime, and see things walking around day and night. So, how, we want to be better treated.
4. Let’s have a nursing robot. No feelings, very strong. Let’s hope the Japanese come up with such robots.
I am sure some money, some training and a video network will help. We are dealing with humans, so I guess we need some luck too.
Terence Seah
Woweeooo!! What a depressing topic! Yet one that we will all face as we age.
Yes, it does look that legislation is again required to protect the citizens of Singapore, and now from foreign workers.
But what are we to do? How can we ensure that we can have good and compassionate care in the future of our golden years?
Fortunate are those that have children or loved ones who can and will care for them. And also fortunate are those who have the money to afford the medical and long-term care needed when disabled or worse.
In the old days, parents strive for a lot of children so that they can be taken care of in their old age. Now, there are only one or two-child families and filial piety is no longer a given.
There seems to be no perfect solution.
Robots or loved ones who turn robots after a long-term care situation.
Money and patience run out. Even luck can run out.
Can we just pull a switch and snuff out our fading light?
I think CCTV should be installed inside all the wards in the nursing home , and the staff should be checked and monitored with vigilance.
More ideas….
1. Men can keep themselves sexually alive so that the young nurses dare not strip you and put you under the fan. If they do, just enjoy yourself.
2. You can eat a lot and get so fat that the nurses would not be able to lift you up to throw you onto the bed.
3. Learn many foul words so that when your caregiver slap you for groaning, you start your expletives in multiple languages to make sure they understand.
Just a thought
I reckon “staying” in a nursing home due to sickness or lack of suitable care at home with
children working abroad or in some cases childless couples will become a social and lifestyle solution in the near future. By then, I guess it will also deem as “Norm”
My single 62year old friend stays in a nursing home due to poor health.
What will become of us when we are old and feeble?
Tian Soo
I think your #4 hilarious but the suggestions do sound workable for the guys.
I am woman so it may not work for me. But then again, like I always say, when I cant take care of myself, then its time to go.
Carly
Just read this from Yahoo.
The FIVE regrets that people have on their deathbeds:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
By a Ms. Bronnie Ware who has worked with the dying for many years……..
Terence & other senior (in term of membership) SHC members:
have you ever thought of running a “retirement village” for the elderly? it’s not a place for the sick but for the elderly who would like to drop by anytime to relax, have a good cup of coffee/tea, good chat, reminiscent of the past?
It’ll have dancing studio, karaoke rooms, game rooms, swimming pool, sauna, gym, garden etc.
I believe this group of ‘patrons’ will have a happy and meaningful twilight years and no need to go to any home. just to share…
halo frisna mei mei ah ,
wow wow wow …really a damn good idea lei….. silor…maybe u try & start de ball rolling lah…now urging to play indoor games liao…but where to find de place har ? sob sob….
sam huat huat huat
Hi Frisna,
Thats absolutely a great idea and a heavenly place to grow older n wither away with all our lovely SHC frens. Also, once you are happy spiritually, you are healthier mentally and physically too.
Hey Sam….
how about buying over my house ( am thinking of selling it lah )
and convert into a SHC retirement village, ho bo?
Its 3 storey 3600 x 3200sft at a cul-de-sac road, pretty exclusive for parking.
Convenient 3mins from bus-stops with buses to most places, feeder bus to MRT, 24hrs kopi-tiam, hawker & wet-market, shops, BigMac & KFC., near PIE, ECP, airport, downtown, the Giant, Courts & Ikea Tampines or Tampines Mall & Parkway Parade…wahh..you’ll never be bored!
It has a good size front & backyard for garden party & outdoor dinners.
Ground flr room next to kitchen are same size, can be Karaoke room overlooking backyard, now has a lovely frangipani tree, can hv a lap pool too.
2nd flr are 2 common rms, a big master’s n a family hall – ample space for
dance, drama, painting, game or movie rooms.
3rd floor self contained bedroom with good size sundeck for morning exercise or close-up gym or Bali spa/jacuzzi concept/or a soothing lounge
for SHC to chat, relax or dance their blues away.
Well, will this be an ideal place for a start?
It wont cost a bomb as you would to build a real retirement village with all the above amenities already there for you now – ‘an instant retirement village’!!!
A wishful thought hoping for some people to make it come true…soon!
pearl.
ah wu liu jie jie ( loaded big sister )
wah wah wah .. thks for seeing me so up to buy de chia hong chu ( bungalow ).. so now it vacant liao har ?
throw some party for shc events lei.. steady pom pi pi lah…
ah pearl wan sui wan sui !!! ( in chinese )
sam huat
wah wah wah ah huat ah,
gua bo lui thats why sell to be rich cos now prices are very good mah.
Since you ask where to find de place for SHC retirement village,
i offer my semi-D (not bungalow) for sale for this purpose lor as the space is good enough to start, then later can expand to a whole condo style where everyone stay 1 unit lah.
my place not like that lah..i only imagine & describe to you how our SHC retirement club can look like, can be Bali Resort style..plenty of plants, good for eyes wor. .those love this idea to start lor, of cos not u alone lah..must team work mah if all wan to enjoy..then hor..collect membership fees lor.
there’s a tea dance party end of the month, tio bo? so everybody can party ler lor..i will be there..my first party with SHC members, hee hee.