Two jokes about language

Woke up from the sweet and lovely X’mas Eve last night, already 2:00pm. Wow, ‘Shiok’

When I came to Singapore, and heard this word, I wondered why our Singaporean always ‘Shock’. After a while, I understand it means something like ‘?’ in the HK Cantonese.

This reminded me two jokes about the language in Chinese and like to share here:

Joke 1: "??"

One year when I was young, me and a group of my Hong Kong friends visited Taiwan. When we strolling around, we found that we had lost our way. I saw a beautiful girl in front, then I approached her and asked: "????…".

Without me finished, the beautiful girl open her charming mouth in an ‘O’ form and uttered "?". I looked around and found nothing surrounded me. I turn to the girl and asked again: "????…". The girl looked impatient, but still uttered "?" again….. Why???!!!

After some explanation, I finally knew that she thought I said "????” instead of "????". Oop…. – end of joke 1

Joke 2: "??"

One X’mas Eve, me and 4 friends immigrated from HK went to a friend’s house for a re-union party. As we planned the party will last late and we will leave around 3:00 am, A friend was chosen to be the driver who sent the rest home, so he was not allowed to drink anything with alcohol. 

After the event and on our way home, we were stopped by a barricade in ECP. A person with uniform (the man) approached our car. After my friend opened the window, the man put his head near the car and said: "????".

My friend replied immediately: "Including me, only 5, where got nine? Are you drunk"

Ha ha, he thought that the man said "??" instead of "??" – end of joke 2

Hope this 2 jokes can create some smiles in the X’mas time and must apologize to the members not good in Chinese, may be they do not understand the jokes.

Do you have jokes about the languages (Chinese, dialect, Malaysia, etc) can share?

Merry X’mas and Happy New Year.  

27 thoughts on “Two jokes about language”

  1. Hi Andrew

    I will be happy to see u in our next walk 2012.

    Quoted : “Can you keep that smile for me until next year, haha.”

    Promise to keep yr eyes for me then!

    June Koh

  2. Ha ha, gf

    You must have an exciting long weekend. But no matter how, when you back to work, sure you work with a high mood, as you enjoy them.

    I have a peaceful long weekend, slept and slept for two days, now still snoring, sigh.

  3. Hi Andrew,

    Nice to hear from you and the others over here.

    One HK resident working on temporary foreign assignment in Singapore was very fascinated by the Malay language. So he attended an evening class to get acquainted with the language, hoping to be able to speak it one day. That’s remarkable for any adult actively chasing his dream.

    The smiling language instructor walked in and started off with, “Let’s learn about SIFAT NAMA today.” The Hong Konger was shocked momentarily for as mistook the words as referring to “mummy’s behind in Cantonese.” The teacher, sensing something was wrong, politely asked his perplexed adult student, “What is the problem, Mr.?”

    He, then, proceeded to explain clearly that “sifat nama” in Malay means ‘adjective’ in English.

    From this we gather that words in one language might innocently sound unwholesome, even obscene in another.

    End of story.

    Terry Tang

  4. Hi all,

    Sorry for the typo error. In the immediate above passage(13), after the words “momentarily for”, please replace “as” with “he”. Thks

    Terry

  5. Hi June

    Luckily you are not asking my mouth, which I use mainly for eating, but not talking.

    My ears, sure no problem, as listening and understanding is my forte

    So next time we meet, I lend you my eyes and ears, and you lend me your mouth (smile and talk), deal?

  6. Hi Terry

    What are you busying now, dancing, singing…..

    Ya, Hongkee will misunderstanding the word lah.

    Thanks for your joke, that let me learn a Malaysia word. Next time when I hear a Malay say “sifat”, I won’t mistake it as “Sea food”. haha.

  7. Dear Andrew

    It’s a deal, see u in 2012 and I will recycle yr jokes and retell all to u, tat ma (can)?

    In the meantime, pls spoon-feed me with more jokes, thks!

    June Koh

  8. Ha ha ha hahahahahahahahah………….

    Eleanor,

    I am not a guy like to laugh, and usually respond quite slow. But, the above is what I was doing when I watching the show, I don’t know how to describe it, but it make me really laugh and cannot stop after the show start for a while until its end.

    The ?? used by the ???? really ????, ???? but ????

    Thanks to give me a laughing morning in the first day of the year.

    Hope the other SHC members also watch the show and laugh like me, hahahahahaha……………….

  9. Hi everyone,

    I also have a language joke to share.

    My HK colleague told another singaporean colleauge , ” Could you kindly help me to buy bao zi on your way back?” When the sg colleague came back he handed him a bak bao ( ???? The HK colleague exclaimed, ” Why you buy me bao zi, I want bao zhi????. For some ? & ? is hard to differentiate?? & ? too. ha ha, ??????????:)

    Happy Lunar New Year everyone, ??????????

    Cheers
    Agnes Lim

  10. What exactly is the pronunciation of “seafood” in the sei yup dialect of the Cantonese people. It means “buttocks”, not fresh catch (fish, lobster, cuttlefish or abalone) from the sea.

    When you tell an elderly sei yup lady that you want to invite her for a seafood feast, she expects to be invited to a table whose signature dish consists of mainly cooked chicken backsides. Elderly sei yup or other Cantonese ladies like to dine on fowl buttocks because of the traditional belief that they can maintain smooth faces with barely noticeable wrinkles despite ageing.

    Jokes aside, I have actually come across very many elderly Cantonese ladies in their seventies and eighties with strikingly smooth faces and not many wrinkles due to their compulsive passion for eating chicken backsides.

    I am a sei yup descendant. So now you all now know in sei yup dialect what is a “gai (chicken) seafood/or sifud.”

    Blessings,

    Terry Tang

  11. Hi Agnes

    How can you found this post??? I already forgot about it.

    Thanks for sharing your joke. Actually, in Cantonese, the pronunciation of ? and ? (more like ?) is quite different, but in Mandarin, they pronounce the same.

    When I learnt the ????, I completely cannot differentiate the pronunciations of the followings (may be due to I am a previous Hongkee):

    c, ch & q
    s, sh & x
    z, zh & j

    Whenever I encountered the ?? start with these, I only depend on try and error, and it is a very ?????, sigh.

    For the Hongkee, they may be good in many things, but come to learning a new language besides Cantonese, most of them are stupid (of course including me, sigh) – forgive me to speak the truth, my lovely HK.

  12. Hi Andrew,

    I surf this site once in a long while and happen to see this joke thing. I just share becos it is a true incident at my work pl and i thot it amusing, i didnt think too much, sorry if it was offensive to you, by no means i intend it that way. :) pl dont take it too heart.

    Happy ?? ?

    Cheers
    Agnes Lim

  13. Hi Agnes

    Sure there is no offensive. I just mentioned what I have encountered when I learn ????. It seems that my writing has cause some misunderstanding, Sorry.

    ????

  14. Hi, i have something similar to share regarding chinese pronunciation misunderstanding that happened to me some 10
    years ago…..One day, i got on our estate’ shuttle bus from the little market carrying bags of groceries ..and sat next
    to a part-time helper/ auntie who was going into the estate to
    “work’..She smiled & looked at me and started in Chinese :

    Part-time Auntie:” you are NEW here, never see you before ”
    ME answered : “oh,NO, i have been around this estate for more than 15 yrs”

    Part time Auntie could not believed the TRUTH and replied’
    ” true.. or not,i have been around LONGER than you..and i know everyone here..:

    Me replied : auntie, of course it is the truth.
    Then she asked :” What days are your usual working days.?”

    Me with sleepy eyes FINALLY OPENED & REPLIED :
    “OH, Auntie i DO NOT have any WORKING DAYS..i work any days
    i like ..up to me !! ”

    She was in SHOCK & said ” WOW ! YOUR EMPLOYER SO KIND ! SO NICE ! NO WONDER I DO NOT SEE YOU During regular hrs like now…..Wah, good for you !my employer expected me to be at the door by 7.30am..luckily got this shuttle bus !! ..”

    ME also in SHOCK !! BIGGER SHOCK !! ..

    GOSH, she thought i was a Part-time helper like her..
    I laughed and said ” Auntie, I Zu (live) here and NOT what
    you think..”Zua”(work) here long time !”

    I couldn’t STOP laughing and shared this among friends this hilarious incident happened so early in the morning…
    THey laughed til their stomach BURSTED and said :

    ” How CAN YOU be misunderstood as a part-time helper ?”
    WHY NOT, i said cos’ of the timing & location..(bus)..
    I explained at such early hrs, usually the shuttle bus picked workers who are coming to WORK in the estate from the
    MRT staation and i got on half-way & carried bags of groceries …”
    Hubby laughed & dinner almost ‘puke’ out when he got home..
    Advise from him ” Pls take the TAXI next time, dear ”

    ME answered : Of course, true

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