Dear All
I have wanted to ask Terence for the longest time to lower the minimum age to
join Silverhairs Club from 45 to 40. Did not bother until now.
Why do I have this idea? I believe the club needs new blood, there is
only a 5-year age difference to join, the early forties to mid-forties will add
more vibrancy and possibly more ideas.
I came across SHC from clicking here and there over here in HK and read with
interest. After reading the site for a few nites I decided to join as I
qualified in both the minimum age of 45 at that time and being a
Singaporean.
If I was not 45 or above then, I would be frustrated not being able to
join as I was reaching out to my fellow Singaporeans. Think I would have
written to Terence and he would have told me to wait till I reach 45. My
comeback would be ‘I may not live to 45!! Gosh.’
Have brought this topic up with Terence at our meeting and we could have
easily decided whether or not to do so but I believe in discussing with our
members, so let us hear your constructive opinions.
Discussion will close on Sat March 17 at
23:59.
Geraldine
Hi Geraldine,
I can only trust you to question Terence on the qualifications of being a SHC member. I love new thoughts and ideas, even though they may be outside our long accepted culture. So, I am open to hearing views from you and other members.
May, I shall share with you and members my once-upon-the-time secret thoughts. I thought of admitting 26 – 28 year olds. Like you, I thought this will add vibrance to the club. It will also likely fulfil one of our most desired wish, and that is to bring more men to the club. Finally, I have to forgo this thought, in favour of the longer term interest of SHC.
As of now, if an applicant is 1 month from being 45, the Club will ask the applicant to wait one more month, and enjoy his/her youth. So, I have not seen a single passport or ID card.
You may have this wish, if there are enough members who support this idea. Let’s keep this discussion going. Maybe some ideas might just PING!
Terence Seah
Hahaha!!
Having Silver Hairs at 40! I doubt that there’ll be many people wanting to join a senior club at that tender age.
But… maybe… well, the possiblities are endless.
The guys will certainly enjoy the young blood; Tian Soo, your Mongolian beauties qualify now!
I can see Geraldine really thinking out of the box, many more ideas to come!
Confucius was known to be a wise man who lived to the age of 72 years old and this is what he said:
“At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning.
At thirty, I stood firm.
At forty, I had no doubts.
At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven.
At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth.
At seventy, I could follow my heart’s desires without sin”
Confucius, Analects II.iv
One comment is often hear is that those members of Silverhairs must be rather old. So many 45’s think they are not in that category so they just dismiss the idea of joining this oldish club.
So if we lowered the age limit , we need to change the name of the club like….’StillHairyClubs”.
I think 40 years is too young!
Keep your constructive opinions coming! Nice….
Johnny, I like the Confucius quote but I do not understand what exactly does it mean in terms of lowering the age group. Care to explain? Thanks.
Hi Geraldine,
Everytime when I have to decide on something and I am not too sure about the consequences, I always cut the issue down to bite size. So in this instance, may I suggest that if we were to lower the age limit, maybe we can put in some criteria and place a quota on the number of female and male members age 40 to below 45 excluding 45 years of age.
eg:
a)they are recommended by a SHC member
b)they participate in a stipulated number of activities per year
c)the membership is subject to renewal every year and provisional until they attain SHC legal age.
d)Quota set for both the female and the male “juvenile”
and since we are at it, why not also make them serve tea to at least 10 SHC members
Hi gf GT
We spoke about this and you’ve encouraged me to post my thoughts. And here are my thoughts :
1) What is the purpose of SHC?
To provide a platform for middle aged people to find like minded friends thru activities that they are comfortable with.
2) How or what does a 40 years old have in common with those above 45 in terms of interest and thinking?
The 40s are still struggling to raise families and keeping up with careers/jobs. They have little time left to indulge let alone contribute to SHC. Won’t that defeats the purpose of having them in SHC?
3) If they are already established and not in the struggling category mentioned in 2) – they would have plenty of other avenues and activities to indulge themselves with. Why would they need SHC?
4) Besides increasing the number, will they really be an advantage to SHC?
5) Will their presence be a deterrence to older groups of people looking to join activities organised by similar age group?
Sorry to be a dampener but I think for SHC.
Geraldine,
I have no idea how the club name “Silverhair” was chosen.
It difinitely sound better then Senior Citizen.
Is it’s meant to be for the mature and middle age group than at 40 should be OK. One can interprete Confucius “40 without doubt” as maturity.
Regards,
Does SHC want to be known as an old folk’s club, or a club that embraces fun, life & vitality in our senior years as can be seen at the various SHC events and activities?
And why Singaporeans only, as Terence plainly states on the front page? Why not allow other nationalities also?
Maybe “Life really begins at 40” would be a good tagline for us?
Thanks Geraldine for bringing up a good topic that will have its opponents and proponents. Ultimately, its Terence’s final decision.
Lowering the age to 40 is good as variety is the spice of life.
How about having Ordinary membership, and Senior membership or even Life membership depending on the contribution each of us has done. Way must be found to attract more to join to ensure continuous flow of ideas and activities for the Club.
Geraldine, so far we have seen you have a knack for initiating ideas and getting more thing done.
I heard of the Gigolo Night, can you make it happen?
Dan
Given that not all are well off, people at 40 probably are still struggling, some with several jobs to put food on the table and earn enough to pay for teen children’s school fees, pocket allowances, school transport fees so on and so forth. We may have to remind ourselves that Singapore is still a very costly country whereby untold numbers are trying to make ends meet.
On the other hand, we may be seen as “oldies” by wealthy 40 year-olds who may not want to identify with us or to share our visions. They probably tend to associate more with drinking buddies, golfers and karaoke and dance aficionados.
If 40 year-olds are admitted to our club, we have in effect shifted from the silver hairs focus to one of “black hairs”, necessitating a renaming of our club and making ourselves a laughing stock to the public at large.
Jokes aside, there are already much too many on the SHC register who are people factually with young strong hearts inside elderly bodies. They can talk, write, sing, dance, walk and climb hilly terrains pretty well too.
Please judge SHC members not by their exteriors which can be
deceiving. Judge them by what they can do.
Yum Seng! (local version of Cheers!)
Terry Tang
Hi Geraldine,
I think it is Ok to enrol those under 45 AS LONG AS
they have plenty of Silverhairs like US…Joke Only!
I do agree with some of Lily Ho’ points..Why don’t You
hold a referendum..?
Hi GT
I agree with Lily @#8.
I’ll feel out of place when the club is inundated with those who are ‘Stillhairy’ as per Charles Wee’s comments @#4. I’ll feel bald even if I have a few silver hairs left.
May have a generation gap between those who are 40 and those in their 60s/70s.
Maybe, those from Mars may be euphoric when more SYTs join in? My apologies ~
Re: #10, Oh no, we have enuf ‘foreign talent’ in MRTs, shopping centres and other places of interest. No more please.
Hope I don’t sound like a Kiasu Silverhair. Ke3
Only my 1 cent worth. No offence to anyone, just expressing my feelings.
Cheerssssssssssss
Gabriella
Hi all,
when we were in our early 40s, we talked about our Kids & their CCA or PSLE and discussing our paediatrics
and read ‘how to cope with rebellious teens’
When we were/are in the 50s, we talked about kids going to
Uni/Colleges and SAT & A levels and retirement benefits and CPF minimum sums & WEDDINGs & new homes..
when we are in the 60s, we talked about aged parent and
their geriatrics and funerals and empty nest and read books
like ” 20 summers left’ or “When the time comes”…..
Is there any common ground among the early 40s & the late
50s and the mid 60s ?? yes or no..
Positively, we older silverhairs may be helping the younger
40s to see their ‘future’by looking at US and thus preparing them better for their golden age..
And we may be benefited from a a younger group emotionally..
recalling fond memories we were ONCE like them before….
My very OLD 97 yrs old neighbour gave his thanksgiving note
to me whenever he & his wife(89) come over for a meal..i was touched that he felt ‘youthful’ among us (20s – late 50s)
and listening to my kids talking about Career, BF & movies &internets…And i can see & learn what our future is like
seeing them coping well in & out of ambulances & hospitals BUT THEIR SPIRIT ARE STRONG ..NOT a negative word at all..
always with great sense of humour…We enjoy having them over ANYTIME.. IT IS A WIN-WIN SITUATION..
than some young punks at 40s..anytime !!
Dear Members from #7 to #14
Wendy, I like your ‘cut the issue down to bite size’ approach. I’ve learnt something from you today. Your list of criteria from a to d are doable but not the serving tea bit, please. Kekekekeee…
Girlfren Lily, you are absolutely not a dampener! Very glad that you shared your view points here so others get to read.
Thanks, Johnny, for the explanation.
Jonathan, love your tagline “Life really begins at 40?. Very nice. Yes, once members have expressed their views, Terence will decide. If he does not go ahead with it, I know why. Kakakakaaa.
Dan, first things first. Let’s focus on this topic as it will not take long to decide. Don’t like prolonging agony; like to get it over and done with (whatever the outcome) and move on to something else/new.
We’ll bring up the Gigolo Nite; I am excited, too – Thomas L is ready to wear his G-string and Mega’s Sarong Nite. Can’t wait.
Terry, good to hear from you. Well put. I don’t judge anyone based on their exteriors especially I am aging rapidly, too.
Felice, good suggestion.
Gabriella, like your Ke3. So adorable. Good of you to express your feelings.
Hi All,
There could still be a viable alternative out for Geraldine who mooted her desire to accept the under-45 into SHC. Those under 45 should placed on associate memberships. An associate is not a full member, but SHC should be generous enough to accord him with the same benefits of full members. When an associate reaches 45 years of age, he is automatically promoted to full SHC membership.
Since new ideas are urgently needed to add vibrancy to the club, name this “rejuvenation in the making”, associates should be given more opportunities to organise some activities for the club.
Terry
Geraldine
It will be good to let younger ones in but please do it after I have my cataract operation.
I think if we reduce the age limit to 40. There will be higher imbalance of gender here. Younger women do not mind making friends with older men… lets say I don’t know why. Younger men usually do not want to be friendly to older women unless he is a gigolo. Such is the reality of life although we can argue that it is morally wrong.
Also if we reduce the age limit you may get some new older male members but they will be here for reason which older women here may not appreciate and will not benefit.
If I am asked to cast a vote – I’d vote “NO”.
For all the reasons cited by Lily Ho at comment #8
Haha, TS, when is your cataract operation?
Your last paragraph is intriguing. What ‘benefits’ are the older women here looking for when new, older male members join? For that matter, when new, younger male join us?
It’s always good to have your input; makes me put on my thinking cap.
Geraldine,
Sorry to say, I agree with Lily Ho on all counts.
Frankly, when I was in my forties, I was too busy raising my family and working. I think if Silverhairs Club had been in existence then, I wouldn’t have even thought of joining, simply because I wouldn’t have considered myself ‘old’ enough to qualify as a ‘silverhaired person’.
Lowering the age limit may add some ‘vibrancy and more ideas’ but will this be suitable for senior citizens?
This may just result in making the older and genuine siverhairs feel that they are ‘useless’, ‘idea-less'(hee hee)and ‘unwanted’.
Hi,
Like JH #19, if asked to vote – I would also voted “NO” too.
Various reasons were given already and no need for me to repeat them.
I would rather that we put in our efforts and bring in more new “ACTIVE” members of above 45. May be Terence (or you nice se(X)y ladies as the NEX-GEN SHCians) should give another Interview to ST, CNA, CH-8, CH-U, CH-V, CH-S etc… A se(X)y theme always attract a lot of media attention … hahahahaa!!!
Because I see Terence (as well as other SHCians) trying very hard to get those inactive memebrs (its a majority – I think!) to join (aka come out of their DEEP hibernation) in the many SHC activities but with little success.
In honesty, I don’t know why these inactive members joined SHC in the first place if they want to hibernate? Anyway, lets put this issue a side … for the time being.
T S
From what I gathered from your comment at #18, I think you believe, by lowering the age to 40 that more women of that age category will join SHC.
What in the world would a 40 year old woman be doing, joining a senior citizens’ club, unless she’s hoping to catch a rich old geezer??? She’d do better joining to join some other exclusive clubs.
Well, perhaps that may be true if ‘foreign talents’ of that age group were to be allowed in, especially when some of these ‘talents’ view the average ‘ah pehs’ here as good catches. Ha ha ha!
I have many male friends who are younger and even much younger than I am and they are NOT GIGOLOS. For that matter, many of the Silverhairs Club members I keep in touch with are younger than I am. Does that make them gigolos??? Oh dear dear. What medieval idea is that?
“for reason which older women here may not appreciate and will not benefit.” Would you like to clarify that?
From what I gather, many of the ‘older women'( I wonder how you categorise them) of which I’m one, are there for the activities and the friendship, whether it is amongst men or women.
TS,I think you need to have your brain examined, but I wish you well in your cataract operation.
Hi Mary, a very Good Sunday Morning !!
I think IF we have good activities like a Book Club,
Paintings for silver hairs-beginers, and Movies Reviews,
Chinese Chess (i am still trying to find kakis & tutors),
Museums events, Chinese Poems Appreciations sessions etc etc
I DO NOT THINK anyone would think we are useless & idea-less.
I am much impressed by the SHC Drama productions done before
i joined …and the IT & photography sessions ,and the Art & Crafts and Walking-trips,Charity events and the short holidays organised by members for members…
There are so many different activities apart from the very popular singing & dancing..May be even PA would like to learn from SHC..one day.
Hi Felice,
A very good morning to you too!
Yes I think your ideas are very good indeed. SHC has been very successful so far and I think some people would do better to come up with activity ideas or organise them, than to make silly, useless remarks. ;-)
I would actually like to participate more in SHC activities like I used to, but babysitting and my PA activities have taken up quite a bit of my time.
Hey, we should meet up sometime. I’m in Pasir Ris. Where abouts are you?
Perhaps you would like to write me at my email address? It’s MeiliiX@gmail.com
Cheers!
Hi Tian Soo,
I totally agree with mary Chan that we are NOT in Medieval
Age now..Are you not having just cataract ? Could be an early sign of Dementia…
Please Clarify to all the OLD Ladies here with what Mary has just requested,
“for reason which older women here may not appreciate and will not benefit..”
hahaha i think you have to see the Ischaemic Cerebrovascular specialist quickly before the pineapples
tarts hit you hard..and my Fish cakes flying onto your
heads…and wake you up a little..
“NEVER offence a lady, let alone OLD DIGNIFIED LADIES !!”
Hi Mary
Good to hear from you!
The idea of lowering the age group is not to make ‘the older and genuine siverhairs feel that they are ‘useless’, ‘idea-less’(hee hee)and ‘unwanted’. They are the core and the very existence of this club.
I have respect for all pleasant members whether they are 45 (younger than me) or 145. This idea is in no way to tell current members to step aside for the new, younger blood to take over.
Our club has done well and is still going strong and at our age we should be more accommodating, open-minded in terms of having a slightly younger crowd amongst us.
If we remain in the same mindset just because the number is changed from 45 to 40 (which to me, personally, really makes no difference. One can argue about the current entry age of 45 being ‘too young’ for the over 60s), we inadvertently stereotyped ourselves as ‘Well, what do you expect? They are the types that don’t move with the time.’
Whether or not the early forties will join us is beyond our grasp; we can only be hopeful. Also, whatever their purpose of joining, we are still providing the same platform for making new friends, having activities for all to take part.
Also to clarify one thing. This idea is not to increase the number of members per se; never believe in quantity, always prefer quality. Merely to open up for the early forties to have a choice to join.
The views shared so far are insightful and valuable to us. Keep them coming.
Hi Geraldine,
Hee, hee. I’m in an argumentative mood today.
I didn’t say your suggestion to lower the age group would MAKE the older silverhairs feel……dah, dah dah dah…
I said and I quote:
“This MAY JUST result in making the older and genuine siverhairs feel that they are ‘useless’, ‘idea-less’(hee hee)and ‘unwanted’.”
There is no ‘mindset’ or ‘stereotyping’ involved. I would think that this idea of ‘bringing in young blood’ to ‘liven things up’ is exactly a kind of mindset and stereotyping.
Does it mean ‘older blood’ can’t ‘liven’ things up??
I know of several ‘oldies’ who know how to ‘liven ‘ things up, except that they are not Silverhairs club members.
Instead of trying to bring in a slightly younger crowd, we should pick the brains of the existing members to find out what activities, other than the ongoing ones, they are interested in.
I suspect many members ‘drop out’ or ‘disappear’ either because they can’t find the activities they are looking for or perhaps they have found their own interest groups here or somewhere else and don’t feel the need to participate further in any of the club’s activities .
From what I see and hear, there are many ongoing activities happening at regular intervals, whether they involve just a few persons or many.
If the age limit can be changed once, it can be changed again, for whatever reason. Why set this precedence? Since Terence has already set it at 45, why change it?
I don’t think anyone is being unaccomodating or being ‘close minded’ when they have a different opinion from yours. By saying that you may have hurt some people’s feelings.
Besides I don’t see how bringing in a younger crowd is “moving with the time”. Coming up with new ideas for activities for the club is.
Apologies if I sound rather terse, but you invited, so I shared. ;-)
Hi all,
40 is not silver hair. 45 also is not. To me silver hair can start at 50.
Agnes Lim
I dont think it’s necessary to lower the age entry.
Trending now is those who are in the 60’s are actually the
new 40’s !
I totally agree with Felice @ #24, that what we need is more
good activities. Activities related to arts, literary & cultural appreciation and well being talks/programmes disseminating info on active,graceful aging will appeal more to those who are not into sporting activities.
Hi Geraldine,
I read your thread a few days ago and I didn’t post any comments because I wanted to ponder about the issue raised.
Many members are sceptical about people above 40 joining SHC but we forget that just as there are many married people in that age group, there are also singles. It happens also that there are married members in SHC. If SHC targets the 40’s who are single I believe there are many who will join hoping to meet that special someone through SHC or at the very least, they have activities they can participate in.
In conclusion, I reckon it is okay to have members in their 40’s, even if they are a generation away from most existing members. I feel that if we’re in the older age group we can broaden our minds by mingling with those ‘younger’ ones. Not all of us have children in their 40’s who have the time of day and who are willing to share their thoughts with us.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained so let’s give it a try. In the worst case scenario it’s the 40’s members who will stop joining SHC activities if they feel the group is too old for them. Then we’ll be back to square one, no? :p
Cheers
Ros
Hi Constance,
I am glad you are agreeable to other activities related to
the Arts, literary & cultural appreciation etc…
Are you in the West side of the Island ? you can reach me
lim.felice@gmail.com for further discussion..
My 97 year old neighbour still learning Russian..and he is
quite fluent in 5 other languages though the Pastor has come
to discuss his funeral alraedy. IT IS NOT THE YEARS IN OUR LIFE THAT COUNT. IT IS THE LIFE IN OUR YEARS..
hear from you soon..
Hi Mary
No apologies needed.
You are not argumentative; merely wanted to share more.
Yes, we all know you said ‘may just’ dah, dah, dah, dah. I needed to clarify in case members think that’s what this idea is about.
Not targeting your comment at all; not my style. I like it when outspoken woman like you speak up. Better this way than to gossip and bad-mouth.
Regarding your paragraph 10, nowwww, I am hurt by this ‘….when they have a different opinion from yours.’ Members have shared their views and I or others can voice our views, too.
Do you expect me to be quiet after sending out this invite? If I did not want different opinions especially those who will be against this idea, this topic would be decided just between Terence and I, whatever that decision is.
Hi Agnes
Perhaps we should go the other way – up the minimum age to 50! Kakakakaaa….
Dear Geraldine,
Thank you for your interesting post and I see alot of debate on the subject of lowering membership age. Just for the record, my vote will be “no”. I agree with Lily’s comments in #8.
Cheers, winnie
Hi Ros
You’ve brought up a good idea – ‘If SHC targets the 40’s who are single I believe there are many who will join hoping to meet that special someone through SHC ……’
Did not think of this in terms of reaching out to the early forties. Just focused on broadening the membership whatever their marital status. This may interest Terence.
Hi Geraldine @36. What I have to say may really interest those who are still single irrespective if they are below 40 or above 45.
Many years, back in 1994 I co-founded a singles social club with my class mate, call Pleasant People Social Club (PPSC)for singles above 35 years, they have since revised it down to those above 30 years. This singles club is still going strong, any of you interested may like to google the name to find out more. I am glad that the taboos we have adopted are also being adopted by this platform.
Following all the reasonings so far, I’m incline to agree with Lily @8, Lily’s resoning are rationale & compelling.
Hi Gearaldine ,
Wow ! This is more interesting than the House of parliament debate…Anyway, i re-read your posting on WHY did you have this idea..and BECAUSE THE CLUB NEED NEW BLOOD…
May be, before the lowering age issue been discussed,why not
look constructively on HOW to improve on existing activities
and encourage more members to be more active..May i suggest
you carry out a ‘survey’ to find out from members how they
want/like the club to go forward for the next 5 yrs……
This is the members’ club, they may response to your surprise their NEW ideas to revamp the Club..IF present members could not revamp the activities..then may be, it is
easier for you to try to suggest this lowering age issue.
Please also bear in mind the social-culture of the Club..
Can you possibly manage the delicate balancing act with
influx of NEW young members with OLD OLD members ? Old
members may feel they don’t belong anymore ………..This
would defeat the purpose of the intention of our founders.
Excuse me if i compare to IT to an old city…
When old buildings in a CITY being replaced by more newer buildings as the years go by..The CITY has lost its SOUL
cos’ we couldn’t FEEL ITS PASTE & TOUCH ITS HISTORY…
Try a referundum ! The democracy way to go !!
Hi Geraldine,
sorry, typo error..
The CITY has lost its Soul cos’ we could’t feel ITS PAST
& TOUCH ITS HISTORY…
Hi Henry
Didn’t know you co-founded a singles social club before. Interesting.
Hi Felice
I always smile whenever I come across your postings. Very lively and you like to emphasize with UPPER CASE. Adorable.
Do feel free to organize those wonderful ideas of yours #24 and #32.
As to your paragraph 4, my role (unpaid, kekekekee) here is not to ‘manage’ the delicate balancing act amongst members of various ages. For instance, a 60 year old member may not like/can’t stand another member of the same age, so it’s no surprise if a younger member and an older member are not able to get along whether they are current or would be members. You get my drift.
About THE CITY (now I am like you) losing its SOUL. Fear not, there is no replacement here; broadening the base is the topic being discussed.
I have asked members whom I managed to meet before I left Sg what would they like done, asked for suggestions etc and so far, sky-diving was mentioned.
When I asked for feedback regarding the Orgy Nite (Terence’ passion, changed from Porn Nite), excitement rose and suggestions for Gigolo Nite, Sarong Nite were brought up.
Activities, events will be on another thread. Thought I’d share the above re your paragraph 2 about getting ideas from current members.
Hi Geraldine@40, yes it’s interesting also because when talking about singles, I remember a pleasant lady saying to me @ one gathering that “this world is full of married men” exasperated. hahaha.
So it reminded me to inform those who are single that there are other options. I can imagine how tiresome it can be when after having some expectations & diligence, just to find out “that one” is married.
Being in a single’s club, there’s no need to guess, as they operate on a strictly single basis.
So, there’s hope, LOVE is never too late. cheers to that.
Some members joined SHC in 2005, that’s 6-7 years ago. Today, these pioneer members are 6-7 years older. Guess what they are seeing at today’s gatherings. They see young 45s joining the club, and these members are experiencing for the first time what it is to be a SilverHairsClub member. When the year passes, we will always see new members. In some ways, this is adding new blood to the club. Take a look at your pictures, taken 5-6 years ago. You will be happy to see how young you look.
When the club started, the founders asked ourselves. What’s the point of a club if there are no activities, no management team and no clubhouse. Finally, we accepted the concept that when people gather together, especially in big numbers, they will organise activities among themselves. This explains why the club’s simple objective is to provide a platform for members to meet new and more members. Is this concept working? I think it has worked very well, and it’s all because of the current membership.
A number of members have organised activities for fellow members. Some are still watching and picking up courage to organise their activities; maybe not enough non-alcoholic drinks.
Geraldine and all who have contributed to this discussion, we may need the 40-45s to help us organise an orgy nite or a Porn nite. But, I also think the 55-65s can do the event just as well. It’s all up to imagination; and it’s all boils down to letting the hair down. So, are you game for an orgy or Porn night? I am.
Terence Seah
Hi Geraldine,
Wait a minute, I AM NOT LOSING MY SOUL and I WILL NOT!
I hope to age like my 97 yr old neighbour though going
in & out of ambulance & hospitals, YET maintain the Grace
& serenity & strength to enjoy his Winter Season of LIFE..in little way like ending his meal with a tiny glass of PORT !
I am very much inspired by this wonderful old gentleman who
is not afraid to meet his maker above..and make the best
of his hours every day. I feel SHC members would be much
benefited from joining some medical forums regarding some
Geriatric issues Like how to manage different types of Dementia..or how to face DEATH etc.If we are in denial to face such issue..and choose to go for orgy’ Nite etc..i feel
SAD that we are really losing our souls.. Of course, this is
ONLY my personal opinion on your coming ‘hot’ events…..
It is better for the younger singles to go to single- club
rather than joining SHC as Henry Yip has an avenue already suggested.Most Older ladies do care for the social culture
of the club. Chalks and Cheese do look alike but they are
completely Different thing !
40 years old men and women,
Still in their prime are they;
Career building, children nurturing,
Their sun is brightly shining; busy are they making hay.
Old age issues are not their concerns yet,
Not birds of the same feathers,
They cannot fly smoothly together,
In the silvery sky among silver-haired oldsters.
***
My opinion: The negative impact on the club will outweigh the positive impact if eligibility age is lowered to 40.
Hence my vote: 60% against.
Ahhh, our Poet Jassmine has spoken. Great!
Love your poem, yet again.
Your vote is duly noted.
Hi Terence
I am supportive of your Orgy/Porn Nite. I remember when you first posted the Porn Nite, I was not offended ‘cos to me, it’s just a word/term and obviously no actual act will happen. Like you said, just letting the hair down.
Must add, though, nothing sleazy or CHEAP! That, I would not stomach or support.
You have to let us know what exactly do you have in mind; we can’t read your mind. I can only guess you want something sensual, sexy.
Not on a beach, though. I don’t do sand.
Am thinking of a cozy lounge with a small stage, small dance floor. Singing and dance performances. Imagining…….
By the way, I feel it’s better for a male member to organize this event. Have spoken to a few to do so; they grinned happily but are shy to accept. Perhaps you should organize.
45, 55, 65 or beyond. 65, 55, 45 or under. Does it matter? So far nobody has asked to verify my age when I joined an event. I know many will jump to say, “You look more than 45 what!” No doubt. But I am quite sure there are some among us who are less than 45. Perhaps, this is one instant many (especially the ladies) will not mind being perceived as older than their age.
My point is, unless and until there is a stringent check, this talk about age – the important factor here – is insignificant at all. Much ado about nothing – but a nice read for an otherwise boring weekend.
Orgy night? If we don’t do it fast, we may have to change it to an osteoarthritis night.
Hi Terence & Geraldine,
I think I am quite adventurous in terms of adopting something new proposals. My creedo is ‘No harm trying’. But I draw the line on ‘Porn/Orgy Nights’…Using those event titles brings to my mind of elderly/older folks like us to think about sex. Yeah, some of SHC members are still virile but not everyone. :p
Geraldine mentioned that having a Porn Nite does not denote debasing activities in the programme for the night. But the title itself ‘Porn’ means there’s nudity involved, no?
*Scratch thinning scalp in perplexion*
Cheers
Ros
Here’s my personal opinion:
1. If that someone in his/her early forties is sincere about contributing to the club e.g. giving free talk/coaching to interested members on some sort of activities, I have no qualms about taking this person in as member as long as he/she is here NOT to create problems. How/who to justify this?
2. I don’t expect a long queue waiting outside SHC when the age limit is lowered. The reasons are already highlighted by some members which I do not want to repeat.
3. The “young” members will either form their own group or eventually phase out if they find that they are not in the right club. I’m sure this is already happening to existing members.
4. Members who are able to find their special someone in SHC have my blessings. It is not easy.
5. The activities in SHC has to be broad-based in order to satisfy the different category(of interests) within the club. Hot items for those who want to feel hot and cold items for those who feel like having a dessert ;)))
Conclusion: I think I can accept any age group as long as they are sincere, ethical and not problematic people. I have the freedom to choose.
Dear Lily #8
Very well said and I am on your side :)
Cheers
Carly
Hahaha, Daniel
Like your sense of humor! Giggled non-stop about verifying your age.
Aww….*Scratch thinning scalp in perplexion* Ros
It’s better for Terence to reply to your question, although I want to say a BIG NO! to nudity or even half-dressed.
Hi Miss Low
Good to hear your views.
Baby Goat
Equally good to hear yours!
I was told this ‘club’ has a membership of more than 10,000 (I stand to be corrected if my memory fails me – old already lah!). Applying the 80/20 rule there should be at least 2000 active members.
Assuming there are 5 activities per week making it 20 activities a month and the participation for active member is at least once a month. On an average we should have at least 100 participants for every activity. Do we have such participation rate?
Like most old men (women) club, the participation rate in SHC tends to decrease as days and years pass by. Clans associations, once the domain of old people have accept the fact that in order for it to survive it has to admit young people for more ideas and vibrancy. Maybe that’s the reason there is no age discrimination for community club/centre and not forgetting SAFRA (I am still a member). It cannot afford to.
Even if we remove the age restriction it does not mean there will be a tsunami of potential members knocking at your doors unless it is a prestigious club like SICC or similar. The ‘club’ must have certain benefits to attract and retain the loyalty of its members – both potential and current. The ‘what in it for me’ come into play even if the ‘club’ is free and easy to join.
Maybe it’s time for the ‘Club’ to reinvent itself to cater to the ever-changing needs of its members – both current and potential. First – time to upgrade the club to reflect it is keeping with the time and technology. Second – …………….
This is just my one cent worth of suggestion. Don’t flame me if you are not comfortable with it. My thousand apologies if that’s the case
Rosalind Lee, #48
I’m also as perplexed as you. The definition of pornography or ‘porn’ in wikipedia is:
Pornography or porn is the EXPLICIT portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purposes of SEXUAL AROUSAL and EROTIC SATISFACTION.
and the definition of ‘orgy’ is:
1. A revel involving unrestrained indulgence, especially SEXUAL ACTIVITY.
2. Uncontrolled or immoderate indulgence in an activity: an orgy of spending. See Synonyms at binge.
3. A secret rite in the cults of ancient Greek or Roman deities, typically involving frenzied singing, dancing, drinking, and SEXUAL ACTIVITY.
or 1. a wild gathering marked by PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL ACTIVITY excessive drinking, etc.
2. an act of immoderate or frenzied indulgence
3. (Myth & Legend / Classical Myth & Legend) (often plural) secret religious rites of Dionysus, Bacchus, etc., marked by drinking, dancing, and songs.
Take your pick. Which is it to be?? ;-)
Ha ha ha.
#54 Mei Nu, we obviously won’t participate if there’s going to be a ‘Porn Nite’ but we cannot be ‘wet blankets’ also…those who want to join should not have us frowning in disapproval at their decision. :)
Geraldine moo moo, be happy. *Wink wink*…don’t let conservative women like Mary and me spoil your mood. It’s the name of the event we object only.
Cheers
Ros
Hey Ros
My mood is not spoilt by you or Mary. Rather, hope Terence’ mood is not spoilt.
Reeli like your paragraph 1 to Mary in terms of ‘cannot be wet blankets’ and most importantly, ‘should not have us frowning in disapproval’.
Yes, share our views and not judge others in taking part in activities/events being organized in our club.
Mwah and Hugs
Rosalind Lee,
Hey, speak for yourself dearie. ;-) Me conservative? Not likely.
Anyway, you are right. It’s the name that I don’t like.
If you call it a ‘Raunchy’ night or a ‘Wild’ night, well…. perhaps.
Hee hee. I can sense dear Geraldine feeling a bit uncomfortable about organising the event.
Ok, ok. I won’t rag you anymore.
Peace.Peace.
Dear All
As mentioned at #16 to Dan, this discussion will close on Sat March 17 at 23:59.
Do share with us before the closing date.
Haha Peaceful Mary
Now you have given this event a very good name – Raunchy. Nice……like it.
I am not uncomfortable in organizing this event ‘cos I am not. Kekekekeee. Have suggested to Terence to organize it himself. Will support and try to come back if it’s on.
Let’s see what he says.
Hi Mary, Geraldine and Rosalind,
I like “Raunchy night” and “Wild night”. I am not uncomfortable so we shall have this event. Ok, go back to the topic of a lower entry age.
Terence Seah
Yah..Terence, “commercial break” over. Back to the program proper. But before that, the word “uncomfortable” reminds me of a statement (unintended joke?):
Overheard a secretary telling her boss, “If something inside is bothering you, bring it out into the open. You will feel better”.
Much have been voice whether we should lower the age gap, to me it does not make any different. If the idea is to welcome them to contribute new life and vibrancy to the Club, then we should go for it.
Having a Porn Night is a no no to most people but we believe that Terence just want some excitement for the Club. It just an idea to begin with, whether we want to carry it out literally is another matter. At our age wat have we not seen or heard or indulge in but in the end it is just clean and hilarious fun!
Perhaps we should find an acronym for ‘Porn’ then we may just get away with it. One final note, any word whether ‘Orgy or Gigolo Night’ is very dangerous as this website it open to all. We dun want to invite the law-maker to our doorstep to scrutinise us and pounce on us at the slightest mistake!
Dan
Yikes!
I was only teasing Geraldine when I suggested those two words, ‘Raunchy’ and ‘Wild’.
‘Raunchy’ was actually Patrick Oei’s word, hee, hee.
‘Wild’ sounds naughty but not vulgar, don’t you think? It has a mysterious tone to it.
‘Wild’ night….grrrrrr. Ha ha ha!
I better ‘cease and desist’ like Bugs Bunny says, before I get carried away, ha ha ha.
Hi Geraldine, Mary & Terence,
How about New Age Silvers Nite ? Swinging Slivers Nite ?
Groovy Silvers Nite ?
When we name our babies when they were born,at 20s we
chose the name that we hope he/she will take after the meaning of the Name…
like ‘courageous’, ‘kind’,’loving’ ‘pretty’ ‘shinning’
‘great’ ‘outstanding’ etc etc…
Why no parent name their babies ” Hot’ ‘sexy’ ‘erotic’
‘wild’ ‘porny’ ???
what happen NOW ? at 50s-60s , we choose all the S-appealling Themes ? STrait times will have a field day !
hahaha may be CNN & BBC would think we out do their silver
hairs there…
Hi Felice
Good suggestion. Thank you!
This would be another event and hopefully you are able to organize.
All ideas/suggestions for future events will be moved to a new thread.
Back to this topic.
Sorry Geraldine & Terence for going off topic.
:(
Ros
Hi Ros
It’s all right, Sweets….
Terrence, when I first joined the Silverhairsclub I expected to see people over 55 at least and many with Silverhair but to my surprise met so many who are so young in 45 to 50 generally in most clubs all senior activities are for those 55 and above if the club reduce the age to 40 then Terrence will hve to change the name to GOLDENHAIRCLUB
cos younger girls now like to color their hair golden yellow
Food for Thought……………..
I am of the opinion that the name SilverHairs Club should identify with its members. It must be true to itself. The Club’s name connotes that generally its members have silver hairs.
I am now 79. I joined SHC, (I think about 3 years ago — anyway don’t trust my memory). At that time when I read the rules stating that at 45 one is qualified to be a member, I thought the 45-50 should avoid this place. He/she should be rubbing shoulders with people in the active working networks. If he/she is un-employed, this should be the last place to find job opportunities, unless he/she has in mind of selling health food to the over 70’s. However, that was the rule and the founder may have in mind to accept the 45 in order that he/she has ten years to prepare for retirement.
At 79 I often find the some activities of SHC were too young for me. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not complaining. It is just my factual comment. I do enjoy the monthly gathering, and look forward to join the 23rd Mar crap eating party.
Hi Wai Jin
It’s certainly refreshing to hear from you, giving an honest, factual comment.
Happy that you enjoy attending our monthly gathering and will be joining this month’s Round Table.
Enjoy!
Hmmm…deadline fast approaching. I am still digesting the latest. Honest, albeit differing, opinions from Steven (53), Janet (68) and Wai Jin (69). Food for thoughts indeed. The person tasked to pass the verdict is going to have a hard time. I may suggest something before the “freeze”. Still thinking.
some will find the members too young or too old. It is the interest of the individual.In my job and life I enjoy talking to people from teenagers to people in their 70’s. I learn to see the various angles I do not see or feel at my age and experience. No harm lowering the age. If they don’t see anything interesting in our activities they will leave just like any of us. It is not the age but the common interest. That is my personal opinion.
Hi Geraldine,Terence and all,
I read with interest the discussions on whether to/not to invite those 40years old into the SHC fold.I am OK for the admission but wonder if they would bother to be a SHC Member for long… unless their elders are already members.
Forty… they are in their Prime.Most, not enough time trying to climb the Coperate Ladder,raising childern and trying hard to put them through schools and Universities.
Also, I have friends and relatives who laughed when told that our Entry Age is 45years of age. What is in their minds? Don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine la.
Others more lucky 40ers are only the Minority who have the time and may care to join us to see how they can gain from SHCians’experiences, contribute to enhance the exsisting vibrancy in the SHC club or make it even more exciting. How many??
To share a little of myaelf with all of you why I say OK. I am 70 years of age and am still working, although only half day, among the young. They keep me mentally active and treat me as an Equal at work but never as an elderly worker.This adds years more to my life.Hahaha.
I am sure many a SHCian is more active than I and I see/read just how vibrant each one is on the blog. Keep it up SHCians!!!
So, if ever Terence invites the 40ers, it is to find new approaches or… to Tweak Our Ideas etc(Terence, my apologies if wrong) to make them funny, funky new Age activities then, we shall become Terence’s New Age Seniors, a class of its own huh? Hehehe. We need juniors so that we can be seniors yah? Kekeke.
Please excuse me I am jus in the mood to join the discussion and offer my opinion only la.
Cheerio and keep writing, sharing ypur thoughts and opinions here.
Geok Suan.
Hi Wai Jin #69
I was struck by your good mental health at age 79. Could you share your ‘secrets’ to longevity and good health? Coffee on me :)
Hi Steven, Janet, Vincent and Geok Suan
Nice to hear from you.
Geok Suan, wow, you are certainly active; still working at 70 even if it’s part-time. Here I am, shuffling about with endless aches and pains.
Like your ‘New Age Seniors’, very edgy and chic.
You keep sharing, too, on whichever thread.
Take care,
Hee, hee, hee!
Geok Suan
You are most welcome to put down your views… in fact, you are not excused… from giving your opinions.
I am encouraging more SHCs, especially the silent majority, to speak up and let your views be heard!
We are at the cusp of dynamic changes in the world, not only in SHC. Do we accept younger members? Are we prepared for the financial tsunami about to hit the whole world? What do we do with our time and money?
So, let’s hear it from you!
Hello Jassmine #74
Will be glad to have tea with you. Doesn’t matter who pays. How about bring along a few others? May be in April at SHC general session.
Hi Wai Jin #77
Thank you for your willingness to share. I think for retirees and semi retirees, a weekday afternoon will be better than at night. Which part of SG are u from? Can you come to Serangoon MRT station or Paya Lebar MRT stn?
My email: kdaae2005@hotmail.com
Hi Jassmine.
I am from Upper Thomson. I thought the SHC monthly general session usually starts at 2.30pm (not at night).
I share the same reasons as Lily.
The name “Silverhair” implies someone with white hair and that means some who is above 55 years of age. I have nothing against admitting people below the age of 45 as members. If that be the case, the club should change its name. Also, I note that a lot of activities of this club are held during week days and during office hours. Many people are still working past the age of 60 and therefore are unable to participate in week day activities organised by the various sections of the club. So I don’t agree to letting people below 45 join the club. In fact, 45 years old is too young for the Silverhair Club!!!
Hi Jenny
Good to hear from you!
The discussion for this topic is now closed.
We will wait for Terence’s decision.
I would like to thank all who have contributed to this discussion. It has been inspiring and it’s always good to have feedback and different views.
If this idea is dropped, rest assured I don’t take it personally; the decision is simply against the idea, not against me.
Should it be incorporated, let’s welcome the newcomers with our unique culture.
Hi Geraldine and to everybody who gave their feedback on the minimum membership age,
When the club started, I had never thought that the new Club Manager would question or suggest to lower the minimum entry age to SilverHairsClub. Well, she did and I read your feedback and comments with the same interest as 6 years ago, when debating the same issue. At that time, the number was decided because 45 was seen as the age when a number of Singaporeans lost their jobs to a failing financial crisis. There were no other reasons. Looking at other interest groups, many had used 50 and 55 as the minimum age to qualify as a SilverHair or Senior. So, that, how’s 45 was selected.
The topic raised by Geraldine has generated interests and in some cases, a good club debate. Those who supported lowering the age to 45 felt that this would increase club activity, vibrance and new thinking into what would otherwise be a Club for Seniors. Those who favoured staying at the same entry age felt that there would always be new 45s joining SilverHairsClub.
Of particular interest is the feedback that the 40s would bring more ideas and activities to SilverHairsClub. I must admit I don’t have a good feel on this thought. The past 6 years have seen members with good ideas and activities, and many have found new friends. Making SilverHairsClub vibrant is a good objective. I do see balancing of the two sexes in the Club and having more members find friends and integrate themselves in the Club are important priorities.
I am inclined to keep the minimum entry age at 45. Let me think about it again, and I shall revert a month from today.
Thank you Geraldine for hosting this topic.
Terence Seah
Hahaha!!
I would like to join the Youth Wing of the SHC… this is for those who are below the age of 65… and I need to do it soon. If I wait, like Terence, for another month I would not qualify.
I think we should put this age issue away for the time being and not bring it up again in a month. Maybe we should wait for another five years, then all those who are 40 now can join SHC.
Please put our thoughts and ideas into how else we can bring activities and relevent issues (of aging and retirement living) to SHC.
Hi Terence
Thank you for your prompt comment.
We shall wait for your final decision.
Hi Geraldine and fellow members,
Following what I have written at #84, I have thought about Geraldine’s suggestion about lowering the minimum entry age to SHC to 40 from 45, after coming back from a little holiday today.
I may disappoint those who have felt that lowering the membership entry age to 40 would bring in more activities, excitement and vibrance to SHC. I have considered the points raised by the “in favour” and the “not in favour”. Initially, when SHC was formed, I believe that 45 is a good start to SilverHairs years. Well, today, based on what we have gone through in the last 6 years, I have decided that we will continue to stay at 45 as the minimum entry age.
Hope those in favour will understand the benefits of staying at 45.
Terence Seah
Thanks Terence for your final decision.
This discussion is now closed.