We often hear of abuse, neglect and abandonment of the elderly. It’s heart-wrenching when we come across such cases.
Recently I had a chat with a friend who feels that the elderly/seniors do take things for granted because the society is ‘over protecting’ them. I went, ‘Hmmmm, interesting.’
So, have you been taken for granted by the elderly/seniors or know of such a situation?
Discussion time.
Hi Geraldine
I’ve come across elderly rushing into MRT trains/buses, expecting seats and then plonk their belongings onto the next seat as though it is their rights to do so.
I’ve also come across moms/dads with prams, arms full with belongings charging into lifts, MRT trains, shopping complexes, common walkways etc as if it is their rights to do so too..
We see more frail, timid elderly – but one bad apple often spoils the basket..
While I am more forgiving to the elderly, I see more able-bodied adults thinking that their precious babies deserve more protection – which I find annoying..
Their prams are like “charging tanks”.
I’d rather give way to the wheelchair.
Just sharing my observation of the changing landscape of Singapore..
inez
Hi Geraldine,
I do make a difference between elderlies and seniors. I would put the elderlies as those who are frail, sickly, immobile and unable to take care of themselves. And seniors are those who are over 45.
From what I have seen, I dont think there are many cases of abuses on the elderlies. But, abandoning and neglecting them are a form of torture to the older generation. I dont see a conscious effort by the elderlies to take things for granted. Many would rather not bother anybody, if they are still sane and conscious.
i would tend to say more seniors take things for granted; but then if they dont speak out, who will help them. Singapore seniors and elderlies have to fend for themselves, nobody is going to help anybody, if one does not take are of themselves, even if they take things for granted.
Terence Seah
Hi Inez
I have had the same experience as you.
Was on the train and a woman (think she is perhaps in her early to mid-fifties) occupied the 2-seater. She sat on the reserved seat and yes, parked her shopping bags and her handbag on the next seat.
Passengers around her stared at her; she could not care less. Usually I do not sit but on that day I was exhausted and I went up to her and asked politely for her to remove her belongings.
She kinda semi-glared, (ya, go figure), extremely unhappy that she had to remove her stuff. Even while I was seated next to her, you could feel her bitchy vibes radiating as if I had done something wrong to her.
Some of those around us who saw what happened smiled at me and I smiled back.
Dear Silverhairs,
From the comments of Inez and Geraldine, their observations underlined the
“KOR KAKI”(look after oneself priority) attitude incisively pervading in our society. It is sad when the parents are no more alive, siblings in their forties and older do not physically see one another until they attend a cousin’s invitation or his/her funeral wake which may mean an interval of more than three years after their last “hello”.
Thus, with such a selfish attitude. lack of graciousness still abound here. Is it due to our fast-pace culture. Our neighbours appear puzzle that Sporeans have made punctuality a priority in life. “Why must you people always be on-the-dot? Does it mean that when one is fifteen minutes late to meet someone at Suntech City, that someone or building will disappear??”
My explanation to the Indonesians, Malaysians and Filipinos – our punctuality has made us finish work on time and also underly the seriousness of our intention to get things done. Of course, on the other hand, punctuality has created stressfulness to many of us. But its punctuality that has made SIA a top airline since the late Eighties.
“Sporeans are weird people. They work after midnite, so a few hundreds of husbands and wives do not sleep together one to three nights weekly due to differences in shift-duty of each other work-schedule” But the willingness to work between the hours 11pm to 7am has propelled Changi Airport and PSA as among top arrival/departing hubs in the world.
Regards
Abel Tan
Hi Abel
The foundation of efficiency is based on punctuality.
However there should be a distinction between running a business and keeping
a personal appointment.
In running an airline or a port the time schedule must be absolutely honoured
vis-a-vis competition from other operators. In the latter, there should be some
allowance for some lapses for there may be genuine reasons for such happenings.
In keeping ahead of the competitions in the business world, punctuallity is not the only factor. The operators of an airline or a port must constantly evolve to keep pace with the changes in order to remain relevant.
For instance, SIA used to advertise very prominently that its fleet of planes were
not more than four years old. It was a very effective strategy to maintain its lead.
At another case it pulled one of the most fantastic publicity coup by broadcasting to the world that it took delivery of the first A380 from Airbus.
However competitions are forever formidabe.
Today Qatar Airline has displaced SIA as the number one in the world ranking.
Hi All
In my previous comment the spelling of the word should be “formidable”
Ahhh……..Terence, your views are insightful as in your ‘ Singapore seniors and elderlies have to fend for themselves, nobody is going to help anybody, if one does not take are of themselves, even if they take things for granted.’
Looking at this from another angle.
Hi Abel
You brought up a good question: ‘Is it due to our fast-pace culture?’
On one hand, due to competition, the saying ‘survival of the fittest’ comes into the picture and on the other hand, what you are IS what you are; meaning if one is selfish, lack of graciousness etc etc, that person will be such whatever his/her age and therefore, when they are seniors or elderly, they will behave in the same manner plus taking things for granted by virtue of their ‘seniority’. I call it ‘being old and NASTEEE’.
Oh, Robert, now that SIA (my favorite airlines) has been displaced by Qatar, is this a case of taking things for granted albeit being an organization?
Your choice of SIA as one of your favourite airlines is still fundamentally sound.
In 2013 ranking of world’s top airlines, SIA is still in position no.3.
In the latest survey results, Emirates is No. 1 and Qatar has dropped to no. 2.
This is not a case of taking things for granted. Rather, it is competition that drives to achieve maximum efficiency and excellence.
Hi Geraldine
My last comment is addressed to you. Sorry for the error.
Do seniors/elderly take things for granted ?
I was standing in the train one day. An elderly auntie was very unhappy that there was no available seat and was grumbling and complaining until someone occupying the priority seat offered her the seat.
Without even a ‘Thank you’ she plonked herself onto the offered seat.
But her incessant grumbling and complaining still continues while commuters around felt uncomfortable.
I felt that in this case, the auntie was not only ungrateful but was taking it for granted becos she is elderly (not disabled or look weak), ppl must offer her a seat or that she is entitled to it.
I believe if she really needs a seat badly, she should request for it politely and I’m sure people is most willingly to offer her a seat.
Hi Constance
The grumpy woman will never ask politely for a seat. Her non stop complaining and grumbling even after being seated shows her for what she is – a grumpy, complaining, take things for granted elderly; does not care that she is making others uncomfortable.
Good morning GT and SHC frens,
Just want to share with you my experience in hk. Very often, when I go the supermarket for my groceries in the morning, I get pushed and barged in by some old ladies (not frail nor immobile) while picking my choice of fruits and veggies. They don’t even bother to lift their eye to look at me when I stared at them. Obviously, I did not exist, as far as they are concerned. If these people are in my age group or younger, I would have given them a good piece of my mind. But, looking at their age, I could only swallow back and walk off without my friuts/veggies or come back later when they are gone.
Does this happens in sg? I have always asked myself if I would behave this way when I get old like them or is this basically mannerism and upbring?
Hi Miss Low
Good to hear from you!
So your experience was getting fruits and veggies. Hope they still leave you with nice, unbruised fruits and veggies with stalks and leaves intact to choose from after their ‘dai sai’ way of shopping.
When I was there, I did my marketing only in the early evening and most are after-work shoppers with some elderly and seniors here and there.
I did come across some rude old folks and seniors besides the young ones. I wonder are rude people (regardless of age) the type to take things for granted or it makes no difference whether one is nice or rude?
To date, I have not bought veggies over here (don’t eat fruits) so I don’t know if it happens here. Shall observe and report back. Heehee.
You will not behave like them when you get older; you are not the type due to your manners and upbringing.
Thanks for sharing.