Hi All, <\/p>\n
Sharing this colourful English humour from (Jennifer Wong), admist all the financial dark cloud. <\/p>\n
To the Citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II<\/p>\n
In (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)<\/p>\n Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.<\/p>\n Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:<\/p>\n 1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.<\/p>\n 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.<\/p>\n 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s God Save the Queen! Cheers Hi All, Sharing this colourful English humour from (Jennifer Wong), admist all the financial dark cloud. To the Citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we … Continue reading “Only share this good sense of humour (NOT humor)!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":195,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/195"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/silverhairsclub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nlight of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
\nfor President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
\nnotice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.<\/p>\n
\nover all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which
\nshe does not fancy).<\/p>\n
\ncirculated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.<\/p>\n
\n‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to
\nspell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the
\nsuffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally,
\nyou will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
\nlevels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).<\/p>\n
\nsuch as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form
\nof communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let
\nMicrosoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will
\nbe adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the
\nelimination of ‘-ize.’<\/p>\n
\nlawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers
\nand therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be
\nindependent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse.
\nIf you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a
\ntherapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.<\/p>\n
\nmore dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be
\nrequired if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.<\/p>\n
\nstart driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same
\ntime, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit
\nof conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will
\nhelp you understand the British sense of humour.<\/p>\n
\ncalling gasoline) of roughly $10\/US 20 gallon. Get used to
\nit.——————-8. You will learn to make real chips. Those
\nthings you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you
\ninsist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real
\nchips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup
\nbut with vinegar.<\/p>\n
\nbeer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
\nreferred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
\nprovenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is
\nalso acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting
\nnation on earth, and it can only be due to the beer. They are
\nalso part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them.
\nAmerican brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so
\nthat all can be sold without risk of further confusion.<\/p>\n
\ngood guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors
\nto play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt
\nEnglish dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin
\nto having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.<\/p>\n
\nkind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave
\nenough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
\nsimilarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a
\nrest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
\nbunch of nancies). <\/p>\n
\nto host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played
\noutside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a
\nworld beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will
\nlearn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to
\ntake the sting out of their deliveries.<\/p>\n
\nGovernment will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
\nmonies due (backdated to 1776).—————15. Daily Tea Time begins
\npromptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with
\nhigh quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with
\ncream) when in season.<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"