Are you happy for this Singapore man?

I have a story to tell.  Can’t resist sharing with you as I felt so happy for this man, and yet cannot imagine what this man and woman have to go through.

I just arrived at T2 today.  Was so thirsty that I decided to have a bubble tea outside belt 35. After ordering my favourite Al isan Tea, without sugar, and enjoying the pearls, I realised that there was this 50+ man standing in front of me, carrying a bouquet of flowers.  He was neatly dressed long sleeved and alone, pacing up and down the glass panels, peering at Belt 35 for someone he had been waiting for.  A man carrying flowers, quite a rare site in Singapore?  I guessed he was waiting for a lady.

10 mins later, he was joined by another men, slightly older and a lady, about 40 years old.  They too joined the first man, looking out for the same person.  After a while, I realised they were waiting for a lady, whom they likely know before, and probably it’s a first time for her, coming into Singapore.  From the conversation, loud enough, they had been waiting for an hour.  I could feel the second man was already annoyed and he said that she may have been stopped by immigration or customs, after all, it was her first time.  The first man obviously was not listening to the second man and the lady.  He persisted to look closer at the people around the belt.

Another 30 mins passed.  The second man and the lady, whom I suspect is the wife of the second man decided to leave.  But the first man stayed put.  He walked away for a few seconds, and then he came back to look through the glass. If my counting is working, he must be repeating these steps for at least 30 times. There was this feeling of pity in me, if he walked away and she arrived, or he waited longer and she never turned up. Finally, I saw him waving to the person he had been waiting for.  He tried to find the second man and lady.  But they must have left.

Although I did not dare to walk closer to him because I didn’t want to behave like a busy body, I could see the big smile on his face.  Now, this is when I couldn’t resist the urge in me.  I quickly finished my bubble tea, as you can imagine how difficult it is to suck in these pearls.  I followed him quickly to the exit to see him and peep at the lady from 2 metres away.  She was young and pretty indeed, I think around 25 years old, and very likely from Vietnam, as I had heard this language quite frequently.  She was dressed in a long colourful dress, with a slim fitting white floral blouse.

He gave her the bouquet of flowers, and hugged her many times, finally putting his hand around her shoulder, so intimately.  She was like a treasure to have for the remainder of his life.  And she too had a big smile on her, coming to Singapore for the first time and experiencing a new life in a foreign city.  Suddenly it daunted on me that she was half his age, and I wondered how the future would be like for both of them.  Right in my heart, I wish the best for both of them.  But, right behind my heart, I can imagine how tough going a life both of them would face.

In our national newspapers, we have always talked about this issue of Singapore men marrying foreign ladies.  My situation is no different.  I am not sure about them getting married, but seeing the big bouquet of flowers, and the presence of his brother and sis-in-law, the big smiles and the closeness between them, they could be or must be heading to ROM.

At the time of writing this post, I was actually on the train from the airport, and at Tanah Merah, the train stopped and everybody got out except me.  Few minutes later, I realised I was back at Changi airport.  I had to go back all the way to Paya Lebar MRT.

How do you feel for the guy and the gal?

Terence Seah

 

Author: Terence Seah

Founder

24 thoughts on “Are you happy for this Singapore man?”

  1. I feel very happy and envy the guy with the young and pretty wife. There is no reason why they cannot live happily ever after. If he is prudent with his money and she is satisfied, they can be like any other loving couple. Till death do they part. Now there are Viagra and Cialis, so he can last a long time.
    I am more concern about the guy who rides the train to and fro.

  2. Am happy for the male star in this drama because his dream has come true.
    The embellishment (forgetting to alight) in the story points to the writer’s creative potential as a good story writer. lol. :)

  3. HAPPY for this man….
    The bouquet of flowers is significant.
    WISH him everlasting love, and even if not……….
    ???????,
    ???????.

  4. No. I am not happy for this man. He is trying to relive his lost life by marrying a woman young enough to be his daughter. The consequence depends very much on her motive for such an relationship. For love or otherwise.
    As for the man who missed alighting at the exchange, he must be so mesmerised that he started to form imagery.

  5. Best wishes and blessing to both the lady and man. Hope they have found what they are looking for and happily after then.
    Who knows what happen in the near future and their feeling for each other, who know except both of them!!!!!!!

  6. WHEN a man and a woman, two physically and mentally capable adults (let us assume so) mutually agreed to be together, we always wish them welll, despite any obvious discrepancy. Trying to prejudge and predict the consequence, particularly anticipating a negative one, is rather unceremonious. The better endowed and most compatible couple can disengage, perhaps knowing full well that their respective “market value” is still commendable.

  7. Thank you Tian Soo, Jassmine, DanielC, Robert and Ah Lam for this sharing of thoughts of love, romance and relationship. Yes, we never can anticipate what the future holds for us when it comes to relationship. Life changes, and love changes too.

    If our relationship is broken with someone we have loved before, for whatever the reason, should we feel sad about it? Should we live on with our life? And, if a new relationship takes place and develops into love, should our friends and relatives shed the thoughts of the past, and wish the new relationship all the best into the future?

    Can we control love? Can we love someone forever? Should we guide our young ones to take time to choose the perfect one, lest they should regret for the rest of their life? How long are the younger generations going to wait? Or, should we tell them to get married quickly?

    Well, they will get married, just like some of us got married and today, we may be fathers and mothers, and even grandfathers and grandmothers. Along the way, we found someone different. Someone who is different; can’t tell exactly what is different; but this new person is different. We have heard of postings to China; and the guy comes back with a foreign lady. We have also heard of queues where CPF paid out monies are transferred abroad to invest in properties for retirement living.

    I can only guess, but here we have a guy who has brought a foreign lady into
    Singapore, and again I guess to get married, and start life anew in vibrant exciting Singapore. Except for Robert, the responses so far point to good wishes to the couple, and may they have a happy life ahead. I think Robert would also have offered good wishes to the couple, except that he felt the age gap was too wide.

    Love is such a strange experience. I think we do not know that we are in love, until we are in love. And, by the time, we realize so, we are deep in love, so much so that we cannot kick off the new relationship. A new relationship can happen anytime. You can see that the pupils are big and they glow. I notice this in the guy’s eyes. Very soon, the curtains will close, and a new one will be raised.

    This train rider has missed stations many times. Today, I had a good look at entrance to the Serangoon MRT control and there is a sticker, showing the time one is allowed in the train network, depending on the distance between start and end stations.

    Do you have strong feelings on love?

    Terence Seah

  8. Love is a many splendour thing…it will bring on a smile anytime, anywhere when you are in love. You will learn to share and care. Life is just so wonderful!

    Wish this guy and lady all the best!

    Janie

  9. We have heard of the saying ‘love is blind’. When one is in love, we tend to let our heart rather than our brain do most of the thinking. We then become bias and less objective and allow our emotions influence our thoughts. So, what is love?
    We hear of couples marrying because they are in love but ended up with marital problems or divorce later.
    When love is not grounded on compatibility in terms of personality, interests, character and moral values, among other qualities, it is unlikely to be ‘love’ but most likely infatuation which is physical admiration or some selfish agenda.

  10. I found answers to the many question on love and wish to share briefly as follows:

    1. Love is limited by different environments, families, habits, society and even religion and politics. However, true love can overcome these odds slowly. When it is overcome too quickly or forcefully, the relationship will not last. Similarities can make a relationship last longer.

    2. Love is different from lust. Real love is silent and causes a person to sacrifice for his/her beloved. Lust (wolf in sheep skin) causes a person to seduce someone else. How to distinguished? Watch carefully another person’s movements.

    3. True love is expressed when both partners think and feel in the same way. It causes one partner to sadden when the other partner is sad.

    4. True love is not influence by wealth, position or power. Loving the true person will bring happiness.

    Stay Healthy! Be Happy! :)

    1. Hi Johnny,

      I too agree with you that love can be sustained if we meet certain factors as you have highlighted. And you have identified how love can be expressed.

      I think that most couples like to continue and stay in love. They expressed love to one another. Close friends also see they are in love. She cares for him, and he cares for her.children are also believed to be a binding element. All the nice things.

      But one day, everything seems to go wrong. And before long, one party seems to f eel so much for the other party, and decided that the old relationship has to go. The feelings have changed.

      Do we blame the one party?

      Terence Seah

  11. I think love is a “decision” or “choice” – that is, I decide whether to “love” the person or not, and it is my choice (rightly or wrongly made).
    I can choose to “love” the person even when he/she is unreasonable, illogical and “not worthy” to be loved. I can also decide that despite showering me with lots of “love”, attention etc, I can still choose not to love that person.
    Of course, it is difficult but wonderful if we can find someone who thinks the same way..
    The incident mentioned seems fairy-tale and SHC members are all such nice and polite people – mellowed by age and wisdom.. :)

  12. For a short period last year, I had to make daily visits to my father in hospital. Next to his bed is a thin-to-the-bone man, in his early forties I guess. Everyday without fail, his dutiful wife will visit him and spend the day sitting beside his bed till past visiting hours in the evening. She’s a nice girl, polite and friendly. Noticed I used “girl” rather than lady? Yes, she looked like she’s in her early twenties. They have a young son, two years old.

    From the condition and appearance of the man, he must have been ill a long time. Definitely more than 2 years. He was pale, almost bald with scanty and wispy hair, his arms and legs were very thin and some of his toes were missing. Part of his other foot was also bandaged. It does not look like he can walk on his thin feet.

    I was taken aback when I first saw him but told myself I had to at least manage a smile to him whenever I walked passed his bed. That’s the least I can do to acknowledge and be polite to him. The sight of him saddens me a lot. Wonder if he’s wife is still visiting him or if he’s still around at all.

    It also saddens me that a young girl had to sacrifice her life for an otherwise “more difficult” (?) life in her own country. Happy though is the man who has a young and pretty wife to be by his side during these difficult times and a son to carry the teng when it’s “Times Out!”.

    Is there love between them? Maybe so and it does not have to be deep, I guess. Perhaps it’s care that has developed? An agenda, a trade-off in the relationship for both? Well, one can only guess there must have been.

    Romanticize if you wish but it’s a sad and cruel world.

    dAISY yEO

  13. I am trying to figure out what it means by “one party seems to feel so much for the other party, and decided that the old relationship has to go”.

    The enemy of love is selfishness. One will never love another when one is selfish.

    Stay Healthy! Be Happy! :)

  14. Hi Daisy
    From your description, I gather that the man was suffering from diabetes as he had lost many toes. But this disease would not make him so thin and bald. Most likely he had other ilnesses.
    Coming to the question of relationship between a man and a girl with big difference in age, is there true love between them. When the girl visited the sick man, was it out of duty, obligation, pity, or love.

  15. It is VESAK DAY. Wish all members a peaceful and pleasant day – with love.
    WHAT is LOVE? Let us concentrate the discussion here to that between a man and a woman, as other kinds of LOVE are plenty and varied, such as to parents, children, friends or even pets.
    The sight of the word makes people (many of us, I believe) feel good. This is because, we are brought up in an environment where song writers, movie directors and product suppliers have expounded the very word to derive hefty profit for themselves; and in the process mesmerised the hopeful, the needy and the gullible.
    Philosophically, LOVE is but a four letter word that attempts to bring sanity and semblance to this otherwise confused and convoluted world. In my opinion, LOVE is simply an expression of humble feelings and thoughts to another person, without expecting any return.

    A man takes a young lady to a posh restaurant, complete with exemplary setting, exotic wine and exquisite dishes. With a beaming smile on his face, he adds food to her plate.

    A woman sits by the side of a sick man in a hospital bed. With a worried look on her face, she constantly taps his forehead with a wet towel.

    Perhaps, only the characters concerned will know whether they are expressing/exchanging love – but then, do they know what LOVE is? The audience at large is at liberty to deduce how each drama could – and should – ensue. Similarly, how does the audience define love?

  16. Shakespeare had this to say about true love:

    1. ” Love is not love which alters when its alteration finds
    2. Or bends with the remover to remove.
    3. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.
    4. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within its sickle compass comes
    5. Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom..”
    From sonnet 116.

    So cool! :)

  17. Dear friends,

    Am now in Hotel Sahid Jaya, Bandar Lampung, and just had breakfast with my wife, two daughters and stepson. After my internetting, we are off to the opened’2010 mini resort Kalaianda nearly two hours away and to be joined later by my wife’s cousin-family.
    This is my fourth trip this year and looking forward to a further three or four more JOYOUS family visits by December. Incidentally, tomorrow 2nd June is my eldest daughter Eleventh birthday and regretfully despite of constant cajoling, Natasiadeli remains pyschologically scarred to travel by plane again, as air-turbulence and a bumpy landing at Medan in 2009 traumatised her.
    My best wishes to that guy and his Veitnamese partner and hope they set up a family likeme. Perhaps, setting up a family late in life(was fifty-four) and not being closeted daily together, makes me TREASURE tremendously each family time together.
    Personally, had one-to-one encouraged two ladies and probably seven or eight men to unsheath their single status.
    Go-guys-go. It takes TWO to REALLY tango-tango. God knows I am not being a Kaypoh.

    Regards

    Abel Tan

    1. Hi Abel,

      It’s nice to read and understand your second life. Somehow i feel many of us SilverHairs wont get to enjoy your kind of excitement and lifestyle. You get plenty ofopportunities to explore places that are simple, remote, full of fresh air and with your family members. I guesd this is your lifestyle. For most others, it’s a holiday away from home.

      I always enjoy reading your travel stories. Keep them coming. They are refreshing.

      Terence Seah

  18. Hi Terence,

    Good morning and do have a pleasant Sunday.

    Earlier we had a simple breakfast at a warung(stall) most common in Indonesia similarly like Spore up to the early seventies, paying less than fifty
    thousand rupiah(($6.60).
    We are now at a internet-cafe next to the Lampung Mall, the most modern
    opened April’2007, charges are four thousand rupiah(53cts per hour).
    Bandar Lampung is actuall a combination of three townships namely Tanjung Karang(the larger one), Teluk Betung and Kuala Panjang(wife’s place). Older folks above fifty yrs old still refer to its previous singular name as it was in 1993/94 that Jakarta urged the amalgation of the city which with a near three million population is the third largest in Sumatera after Medan and Palembang.

    The Batam-Bandar Lampung flight is once weeklyflight inaugurated in October 2008, but with a return-flight alternating with an uncertain schedule of three,four or five days-return and I chose mostly the Four-day return, so will
    be back with the 2.15(Spore 3.15pm) tomorrow on a one hour twenty mins journey, similar to the flight time Spore-Langkawi.. I shall be in time to take the 6.30pm(Spore time) ferry to Harbourfront.

    Regards

    Abel Tan

  19. What is love?
    One of the most difficult questions, yet the most basic emotion of mankind!

    Love between a man and a woman is Magic! surreal! no one can describe…

    Love is a feeling deep inside your soul where you know that this person has changed the beating of your heart, fluttering, pounding, racing;
    An unforgettable moment when you hold hands, jus a touch…….electricity coursed through you, a sudden adrenaline rush…….
    When LOVE hits you..There’s a spring in your step! You float, you glide… everything is beautiful!

    Love is Life, Life is Love,
    A Life of Love,
    A Love of Life is Bliss……

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