On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find another job.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than 30 years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had ‘charged’ him for sex and these were the results of her savings and investments.
The husband was so astounded he could? barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, ‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you’.
That’s when she shot him.
MEN just don’t know when to keep their damn mouth SHUT!!!>>> sometimesI
I couldn’t resist sharing this story. We are living in precarious time. In the midst of a recession what can one do to survive. What lessons can we learn here?
A prudent wife, and a faithful or a wayward husband? A tip on a saving investment with compound interest, is it beyond us?
The power of the tongue that can bless us or dangerously hurt us!
Hi Danz
You are right about precarious times. So the best security is a marketable skill or a job.Not a difficult lesson.
When I read your story I thot it was a joke and the husband was joking but the wife shot him. Still? Why? Because it was premeditated? After all he was jobless and presumably was of not much use to her?
But you chose the other version, a prudent wife and a wayward husband. Must consider all possibilities.
Cheers
PS Can you and Kenneth contact me via email? I don’t have yours and I have some articles for Kenneth Tan.
Cheers again
thoroughly enjoyed this. thanks
Here is a light one….
Aids Warning To our Silver Hair Folks! (If you have not read this before)
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
I’m only sending this to my ‘old’ friends.
I love to see you smile.
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
Hi All:
The below are for your reading pleasure, hope you will be able to get gd laugh amidst there days of gloom and doom:
To: All Staff,
As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up our beloved company. I know you will understand that the pain is temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes through these difficult times stronger… and ready to ride the next big wave. So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to the following:
a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has already sterialised them.
b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further – up to Yong Peng.
c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin from the window.
d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.
e. The Valentine’s Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in January : Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them expiry date: Dec 2009).
f. Monthly Best Employee Award : The $1000 cash award will now be replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.
g. Annual Best Employee Award : The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white chocolates.
h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical Hall in Sungei Road. Bring you company pass for a 10% discount.
i. Country Club Memberships : Senior executives must return their membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan Community Centre.
j.. Transport Allowance : No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid on alternate months.
k. Gifts for clients : New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.
l. Annual Dinner & Dance : No change (March 20, yay!), but the venue is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle’s flat in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.
m. Bonus : This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on March 5.
From: Chief Financial Officer