Hi All:
Just sharing some funny jokes to lighten your day as well as mine since I am down with flu,
for your reading pleasure:
Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what
had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher, I don’t think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.
……….. ………. ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… .
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don’t know maths.
Ted : You don’t know my father!
………… ……… ………. ……… ……… …….. ……….
……..
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
scolding you now.
………… ……… ……… ………. …….. ……… ……….
……..
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she
can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
………… . ……… ……… …….. ……… ……… ……….
………
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her
father.
Daughter : It’s mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn’t say anything.
………… ……….. ……… ……… ……… …….. ………
……..
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Waiter: I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg.
Customer: Don’t tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
———— ——— ——— ——— —
Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That’s why I say she’s no good!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between ‘unlawful’
and ‘illegal’?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the
teacher. "’unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and
‘illegal’ is a sick eagle."
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad’s then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean ‘under water’?"
"They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level"
Have a nice day everyone
.