- A few days ago I happened to catch on Talking
Point (tv prog), a very interesting and informative talk on the topic "How to
raise the fertility rate in S’pore". One of the viewers who called in suggested
that a young married couple be allowed to jump queue and be allotted a flat on
condition they produce a baby within a year. Immediately the two hosts and the
panel of speakers laughed at the amusing suggestion, with a grinning host
saying in general "what happens if there’s no baby after a year…"
- I thought this kind of engagement is good for
critical thinking and decided to start this post to provide an opportunity for
interested members to write and share their views, thoughts, ideas…etc to
questions/statements posed on this post. I think Silverhair can contribute to
challenges facing our nation.
- However. i must add that comments CRITICIZING
other people’s opinions are NOT WELCOME. This post does
not support superior/judgmental attitude.
To get the ball rolling, here is the first
poser: What can be done to increase the fertility rate in
S’pore?
- Do you think adult children should give their
parents a monthly allowance? - Are you comfortable with the idea of today’s
youth asking the rich for expensive things?
Put on your thinking cap and cepat tulis/
??????? 
Hi Jassmine,
The first thought when I read your post, is that you have addressed the wrong group. I am not sure how many of us are thinking about having babies.
But you do raise an interesting issue, worth talking about as a national issue. And, I like to contribute.
1. I have spoken with a number of my young friends. The feel I get is that no matter how big is the baby bonus, they will have difficulty in raising a baby. How about a “National sleep-in day”? All new couples get a free night in a hotel of their choice, and they can eat, sleep and drink in the cozy hotel room for 24 hours. Cannot come out.
If after two months, still no baby, then join the National Sleep-in campaign again. Keep trying.
2. To have babies, the couple must first have sex. National campaigns work. Remember, the “Keep Singapore Clean” campaign”? Courtesy campaign and the “No spitting” campaign?
How about a “National Sleep Early” campaign? Imagine 1 million couples sleeping early every night at 9pm. I believe in countries where there is little electricity and citizens sleep early, the baby count is high.
Jassmine, I have more ideas.
Terence Seah
No Terence, I don’t think Jassmine has addressed the wrong group. On the contrary, we are in the best position to provide comments on this very serious issue. Been there done that. I believe many of us know what the problem is. Lets discuss.
Terence you must be half in jest when you suggested the “National sleep-in day” and “National Sleep Early” campaign. Reminds me of the day when I joined the SDU as an undergrad – the Govt provides we oblige. Happy. While it is true that to have babies, the couple must have sex we must also admit that to have sex there is no need to have babies. And by the way, personally I don’t think any of the campaigns you’ve had mentioned are very successful.
So lets get back to the topic….
The real issue is not whether to have a baby. It is how to raise a child. Any young couple who can think are naturally worried when they look ahead at the next 20 years. Can they cope? Can their child/children cope? Housing, food, education, medical etc. they are all time bombs.
Gone are the days (my parents have 7 children) when things were so affordable. Gone are the days (my father earned $300 pm and my mother was a full time housewife) when all essential institutions were run by the Govt. Gone are the days (I could not read and write when I went into Primary 1) when childhood was simply fun and joy.
Ironcally, this fear and uncertainty may not or cannot be experienced by those who are earning mammoth salary but tasked to solve the problem. Down-to-earth uncles and aunties like us may be able to provide them with some useful feedback.
Hi Daniel #2,
Glad to see you join this discussion. I see you prefer to engage than be engaged.
Well, I had noticed Jassmine was referring to the fertility rate, and how to increase the fertility rate? At first, I was thinking this is a rather medical or technological question. But, I shall come back to this at a later date.
Back to what I was seriously thinking, maybe in jest, but I thought the suggestions were worth some thought.
I just got off the plane, feeling rather sleepy, and naturally I wanted to go to bed quickly. I wasn’t thinking that if I don’t get some sleep, I was going to have a difficult day tomorrow. You know the body not willing but the mind says “Reply Daniel”.
The suggestions revolve around making the environment conducive to having babies. Given the opportunity, would it not be nice for a couple to get cozy and have sex, under the “National Sleep-in Day” program. Sometimes, emotions and feelings take control of our actions. Worry, about the housing, food, education, and milk powder later.
The same goes with the “National Sleep Early” campaign. The environment is conducive to having babies. Imagine 30 days of sleeping at 9pm for one million couples in Singapore. My calculator tells me that a one percent success equals to 10,000 babies a day for 30 days.
I encourage members who are reading this discussion to participate. It doesn’t matter how crazy the idea is, you may have just the right recipe to make Singapore Babies self-sufficient.
Terence Seah
#2 Daniel,
Daniel, I agree with you that the married couples of today are more forward-thinking than those in our generation. No offence but education does play a part in how the younger generation think.
When we were in our early 20’s, the majority of us did not indulge in one-night stands or casual sex. In fact, if we were to be seen going out with someone of the opposite sex, we would be considered ‘dating’ and our parents would be giving us the whole works (interrogation lah). Maybe this might not be so for the guys but I do believe many SHC females might agree.
Unlike our children’s generation whereby they know a lot about sex and procreation, those in our generation were either ignorant, confused and/or ill-informed about sex. Yeah we were really sotong about sex. When we are married then we were expected to have babies asap.
I can still recall my being in the ‘Stop at Two’ campaign and when I had my 3rd child I was scolded by the nurses in KK Hospital. Unpleasant experience indeed!
With 2 or 3 children, we somehow showed our children that a small family is the norm. Little wonder isn’t it that they in return CANNOT visualize how they can procreate and bring up a bigger family within the confines of a 4 – 5 roomed flat. They already have the mindset that once a child becomes a teenager, they should have their own room. I don’t know if you can get my drift but what I’m saying is how my children feel as an example. Look at it this way, all 4 and 5-roomed flats have 3 bedrooms. One for the parents and 2 for the children. If the government wants married couples to have more children then more rooms need to be added to HDB flats. Wah, 6 children = 6+1 rooms…..*faints*
To sum my long story, aside from the costs of bringing up a child, living SPACE is also one of the reasons why our country is facing a shortage of babies.
Cheers
Ros
Hi All,
Singapore’s total fertility rate is one of the lowest (if not the lowest) in the world at 1.16 in 2011. It is still falling! The replacement rate is 2.1
Terence #3
It looks like you thought i had in mind male silverhair sowing wild oats. Good interpretation! My imagination ran wild and i thought of this scenario that Jack N might be interested in:
Year 2012. Special Constitution: clause 000 states: All male above the age of 45years may sow their wild oats with the purpose of impregnating consenting,’free ranging’ females. (pre-registration is needed for admin and medical purposes).
When the female is impregnated, she is given special treatment including free board and lodging and a generous 6-figure hongbao for her special contribution to the nation.
After the birth , the baby is cared for by the state. The state will then present it to suitable adoptive parents. The birth mother gets a special post natal treatment if she nurses her infant or donates her milk to the baby for 6 months.
Meanwhile if the baby’s silver-haired father gets into trouble with his wife, the state shall intervene and send the wife a 6-figure cheque for her cooperation. ;)
The silver-haired father is free to continue sowing his wild oats till the special constitutional clause 000 is removed which will happen when the birth replacement rate is reached………..the end.
Think Jack N will be interested in this comedy story line? lol!
Yep. Terence, my semester just ended. Feel like writing. And yep…I like to engage in discussions concerning family and children.
Thanks for the prompt reply. I must apologise if I was a bit too hasty to “shoot” your suggestions. My usual style no offence intended. Your theory could easily convert to practice (with good results) if we were doing an experiment on multiplying a certain species of animals. Fortunately or unfortunately (depending from what perspective), unlike animals, human beings do not mate just for the sake of producing off-springs. Hence your mass-reproduction process while naturally holistic, may not work.
As I have said, the real issue is not whether to have a baby but how to raise a child. Not sure about the fertility rate – leave that to the doctors and statisticians. But what is certain is many young couples do not want a child, let alone many children – and the reasons are obvious.
Yes Rosalind I see your point. Indeed, children today want a room each, even at a young age. So a HDB 5-room can only have a max of 2 children and 3-room 1 child. Rewind the scenario to the time of my parents. We had 2 bedrooms with 1 rented out for that much needed extra income. When my parents had the last child, the eldest was already 14. Wonder how they did it. Really wondering. Apparently, such a feat is mission impossible for many in our next generation.
Jassmine, your “Special Constitution clause 000” reminds me of a documentary I have watched. Adolf Hitler, during the WWII, wanted to breed a super-race for his super country, Germany. He rounded all the young and intelligent ladies and put them in a cosy conducive village. Then he selected fit and strong men from his army. Too bad Hitler lost the war and the rest is history.
So, in response to Terence’s call for “crazy ideas”, I guess we can try to repeat history. But having “silver hairs sowing wild oats” certainly beats the wildest imagination.
Let us continue to throw out ideas. We can then summarise and produce a paper, and submit it to the elite up there who concoct, control and command our destiny. If anything, we are doing it for our children.
Dear all,
Methink our government has to seriously view the challenge of low fertility rate as a worldwide predicament in industrialized countries. Look at it as the downside of a country that strives for success and progress. The people are ‘humtumed’ to apply the credo ‘Towards Excellence’ – so they study hard and look for the best jobs which means they hang on to the belief that they have a price tag that contributes to the nation’s economy.
The young generation wants the best in life – fine dining, branded goods, travel to exotic places and designer’s homes. Even if they’re married they will want to have their fill of the above lifestyle and having a child will means forfeiting at least one of the above. Perhaps they might think about procreating when they’re much older and by then, they’ll be so immersed in their comfort zone they’ll probably feel they don’t want a child.
Look at China. They had a ‘one child policy’ some time ago and a new breed of brats were churned out. One child so every cent, every minute and every hope was pinned on this one child. The best of everything must be for this one child. In Singapore, I believe with the ‘Stop at 2’, parents also put all their resources into giving their two children the best they possibly could. Tuition started to be a trend.
Why aren’t the young married couples today receptive to having children or more children? They actually have the gall to ask the government for more subsidies of this and that. Increase the baby bonus, offer free pre-school education, priority in HDB flats, etc….. someone even dared to suggest the government provides free provisions throughout the child’s growing up years. So ridiculous!
My take is – times have changed and we have a growing generation of young people who are unfortunately self-centred. ‘I, Me & Mine’ is all that matters to them.
Cheers
Ros
I still think Singapore can increase its babies count, if the opportunity is given for couples to have sex.
Let’s use 1 million Singaporean & PR couples. I am sure they have sex everyday or every other day. What happened to the babies? It didn’t work? or all the couples use contraceptives.
I was at a convenience store a week ago, and was browsing through the wide assortment of condoms. The range was enough to get anyone tempted to buy them straight off the shelves. If we limit the sale of condoms and other contraceptives, the baby count would definitely go up. I like to use the 1m couples number. Imagine how many babies we will get?
Rosalind, yes these young couples love to travel. If they dont have access to condoms, I am sure they will all come back with a baby.
We need to make the environment and conditions ideal for making love and have sex for these young couples.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence
Your sleep campaign will make many young couples very happy, but i think it’s difficult to enforce – what if they are not sleeping but watching tv/dvd..? Also logistics etc issues. I think a national BLACKOUT is easier to plan and manage.
Have the… say, weekly blackout, on Mondays from 9p.m. – 3a.m. (to reduce opportunity cost to the state and private enterprise as much as possible). So on Mondays, except for emergency services, all offices/places of work, etc, must close at 5pm. to allow their employees to get home before the blackout at 9p.m.So no electricity in homes and offices, etc after 9p.m. on Monday nights – what do the adults cooped up at home, in the dark, with no TV, computer etc do? lol!
Daniel #6
Perhaps the ‘blackout’ idea is a more subtle strategy to increase the low fertility rate – can always disguise it as a ‘sleep early for good health’ campaign. lol! :)
Wow!
If a weekly national BLACKOUT is planned…
Will start a Mini-Generator Rental Biz immediately…
Renting out these to all/anyone willing to pay a premium rate for it … very good biz for sure!!
Arrrhh …. back to the drawing board or rethink on national BLACKOUT – rite? … cos easily “bypassed”.
p/s: The well-heeled would even buy their own Mini-Generator sets…hahahahhaa..also good biz.
Hahaha……’sleep early for good health’ campaign! For work life balance, tomorrow my office have “eat with your family” (EWYF) day. We can knock off at 5.00 pm and eat with your friends (EWYF)? hehehe…..just want to be funny :)
Ah Nee
i think the issue is not just having more babies but also those that are not yet born – i mean the aborted ones. Personally, i feel very sad to hear of women – married and unmarried – aborting unplanned babies. There are some who’d spend thousands of dollars on IVF to conceive, and yet no results. The ones who chose to abort means it is already “made” – so to surgically abort them can only be done by humans (animals can’t deliberately abort their babies right??)
Most times, the mothers are young/at least able to conceive naturally – just got “caught” – and so made the choice to terminate the pregnancy. While there are always reasons for their actions – which we are not to judge/comment – it is still a life loss.. how unfair the world ..sigh
Ya..Inez. Sad indeed those precious babies that are aborted – and for each reported case how many are forever buried, literally or otherwise. What to do? One way is for the state to take care of all the “accidental” babies and raise them for the sake of making up the numbers.
And this brings us to another problem – those who can afford are not reproducing for whatever reason, while some who can barely survive are multiplying like rabbits. BIG headache for the Government.
Terence (#8) – since you touched on the sensitive area – I mean the descriptions – let me chip in. Here is a joke,
A man had sex with a woman. He did all he needed to do as a man and at the end of it, said, “Nine months from today we will have a boy. Call him Phylipis”. The woman, exhaustedly replied, “Nine days from today you will get a bum. Call it Syphilis”. Got the joke? The point is, if you limit the sale of condom you will not get the desired results. Don’t forget convenience stores run 24/7 and guess who are the frequent buyers.
A black-out night sounds inviting, and invigorating. Hmmm…
Again, we don’t want to benefit the wrong target. So I suggest the MCYS work closely with the Power company. Pull the plugs only on homes of married couples. But what if a typical complain king asks, “so dark cannot see how to do?”
The next thing is to decide whether it should be an opt-in or opt-out scheme. Leave that to the decision makers.
? ?????
The discussion is getting more and more interesting. Fromm ‘National Sleep-in to sleep early for the sake of procreation to ‘National Black-out day’ to sowing wild oats and what have we not.
Let’s me add a pinch of humour along the way!
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”
“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs”.
Dan
Just a thot….
I think a Blackout on ICT (info-comms technology) facilities is a much better option; i.e. no TV, no Internet, no tele-communications, no DVD/VCD/MP6s [ except those that encourages having sex for those who needed something to get it going :)) ]
With this, you still have your power supply for lights (can see now – rite?), air-con (to optimise reproductive system parameters), ice-cold beers & chilled wines & cuisines aka all the settings for a romantic sexual adventure……
I think my thots are going a bit too “seng-nek” oredi..
I think the old fashion way for couples to have sex and babies needs to be re-explored. Ivan, your idea sure works.
Many parents of young couples ask for this and that, and still have reasons why the baby did not come. Some couples ask bigger baby bonus, a flat first, more father days-off, 6 months maternity leave, more kindergardens, free school education all the way, more part-time work, flexible hours, income tax refunds, lower wedding expenses, and some many more. These just dont work.
I started with my response to Jassmine that she may have hit the wrong group. Because we are the age-group that is writing to the press, on behalf of our young adult children. We are the ones who do all the planning for our young adults. Encourage them to have sex first, then they will have babies. Let’s not worry them too much about the future. The stock just wont come this way.
Are we able to come up with wild and old ideas? How to get that baby to come? Rather than why the baby never come.
Terence Seah
Last Tuesday’s Talking Point saw all but 1 of the forum guests saying they are not interested in the bonuses, what-have-you, in other words, all the carrots that Government is giving is not going to work. They said that they want to nurture their relationship first, see the world. With the high cost of living, high infantcare and kindergarten fees, and all the worries of finding a good and reliable maid (look at the recent news of a maid who rough-handled a baby) – who can blame the young couples for being discouraged?
It’s been years that government keeps upping the slew of incentives since Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s PM’ship – but it just doesnt work. Today’s Generation XY keeps talking about “work-life” balance – ie they work to live, not live to work, unlike priorities of the baby-boomers (our time) in the early years as we were an under-developed country at that time, feeling hungry and needed to earn a living soon, some having to sacrifice themselves to support siblings’ education. General XY will break bonds because their parents can bail them out, why? – because we are an affluent society now.
PM Lee Hsien Loong is addressing this generation’s importance for work-life balance so now Government is trying again by offering more perks. I really don’t know whether it will produce better results – because with the recent perks announced, one couple seems unmoved because they said they don’t even care to know how much is the baby bonus.
Not that we disapprove this kind of mindset from Gen XY but I wonder – if their stomach is full, will anything move them? I don’t know la, but if you read the history of the 60’s (I think that decade) when there was a student strike by Chung Cheng High School (I remember vividly because that was the time of my brother’s education at this school), the Government was at wits’ end until Mr Lee Kuan Yew stepped in and spoke to the students’ mums – then one by one the mums dragged their sons home and the strike ended. It’s quite hilarious, of course we can laugh about it now, but who knows, maybe one day Mr Lee Hsien Loong might do this trick too. After all, remember the survey not too long to find about our values, and family was put first – maybe the young couples will listen to their mums. Bizarre idea, but Sorry, talk only, no suggestion, pai seh, pai seh…..
Haiz, another of my long long story … sorrie, sorrie..
“No matter black or white cat, as long as it can catch a mouse, it is a good cat” – late China’s CP leader Deng XP…
…hence it doesn’t matter if during the weekly blackout, Silverhair enjoy makan or mahjong party by the light from a rented generator… because they are not the target group. LOL!
As long as more babies are produced after the blackout…it’s a good cat. LOL :)
Hi Jassmine,
I am an advocate of banning condoms, and restricting the sale of contraceptive accessories. But, I do sell used condoms. I think this may do the trick of helping Singaporeans give birth to more babies.
Let nature have its way.
And Susan #17, you have not gone bizzared. The mothers can help too.
Do we all know that there are 40million more men than women in India?
Terence Seah
Recently while heading for lunch with fellow members, one ask me what is this year ndp speech about. I replied is about love. I didn’t listen to our PM speech but instead scan through the written ones including various opinions on the subject of our nation fertility. I think the govt will not ban condom/contraceptive and trick younger generation to have babies less another problem will arise. Rubbish collector picking up unwanted babies. Actually to overcome low fertility rate is very simple. One just need to observe those with 4 legs. They just simply eat, sleep and have sex as when please. However being human we can’t afford to live this type of lifestyle. We are living in a very competative globalize world. We want to have a sense of well-being and security in order to take on responsibilty as parent and
care-giver so said many career ladies. Parenthood is lifetime and not just the first 6 months taking care of infants. More time off needed to take care of toddlers,
getting them to nursery and kindergarten. The first 6-12 years need even more support. The burden of higher cost of living and cost of raising a child has to be addressed. Now our leader have started to redifine wealth. They have the statistic, resources and think-tank under their disposal. The Stop-at-2 was successful by introducing of the HOPE scheme targeting those poorer parent which form 25%-35% of Singaporean workers. What they need to do now is a reversal. Time have change. We need to produce more to avoid importing foreign talent for sustainalibilty. Who knows soon one will be hearing the younger generation talking about the joy of having a big families and that children do bring lots of joy to their lives makiing lives more complete.
Stay Healthy! Be Happy! :)
Hi Friends,
My take is there MUST be a TOTAL mindset change of each adult Sporean, that Family & Social life takes precedent over economic achievements, thus accepting as a result, less wealth accumulation with the probability of the Government giving out more handouts which will have to be countered with increases in taxation of personal and perhaps too in capital-gains taxes from stocks & property investments.
If Sporeans remain pragmatic, we shall definitely be on this “Emergency” track in a few years time.
Regards
Abel Tan
In India ‘womb for hire’ is an established business and the Indian surrogate mothers are very happy to have the opportunity to earn good money for their families. Could S’pore look to surrogacy to improve its low birth rate?
Another measure – save as many babies as possible from being aborted (12000+ babies were aborted last year!). How? Have more safe houses for desperate mothers-to-be to seek shelter. Simultaneously, provide ‘baby drop’ places all over the island – as many as there are 7-eleven stores! Pro-life organizations would be more than happy to provide ‘baby drop’ facility in their premises. :)
A desperate situation calls for desperate measures! lol!
Agreed. The Ministry concerned should take immediate action. Dispense the money and establish the shelters. Give life to babies that are already conceived. Abortion is murder and should be subject to death penalty. If we can spend close to 10 Million bucks to house 2 pandas that are only “borrowed” from another country, why can’t we spend this money to nurture and develop abandoned or unwanted children for our country ?
Who knows – we may get a future PM or President from among them.
Hi Jassmine/Daniel #22 n #23
Yeap “save as many babies as possible from being aborted”
If NParks’ foldable bikes, MOM designer chairs and now the 2 “borrowed” pandas are justified expenses than our Ministry should throw in MORE money to study/handle issues on abandoned or unwanted children than shelter them until a suitable adoption can be found.
cheers
freda
I just saw a comic sketch and want to share with all who is concern with fertility rate in sg.
The caption:
As An Effort To Increase Birth Rate, Gruesome Photos Were Added To Condom Boxes
The Message:
Do You Want The Box With “Lone Old Man Found Dead In Room” or “Funeral With No Attendeess?”
Stay Healthy! Be Happy! :)
Hi Johnny #25
i appreciate the spirited messages on those boxes :).
In today’s S.T. report of the national conversation held with the P.M, a lady asked about singles having babies. Very challenging question indeed.
There are serious implications. Once a precedent is set, it’s very difficult to rescind it later. Personally i believe in the adage: ‘It takes a village to raise a child’.
Fertility issue is not new. Women MPs and feminist activists debating on reproductive policy in Sg was examine and published in 2005. After reading this 28 pages of its findings – from the success of “Stop at Two” to the warning of our declining birth rate during NDR speech in Aug 1983 and the many various reviews up to 2004, i was convince that engaging in debate about population policy was fraught.
What about our current intiatives of engaging with selective participants. On fertility we have a single mother voicing her experience and another single mother by choice(SMC) wanting more babies because she can afford it. Will this feedback help sg increase FR.?
Today while in the CC waiting for my registeration to be completed, i saw a well illustrated leaflets “Our Population, Our Future”. The design and layout encourages me to read on. Inside there is an illustration of what a middle-income with two children can enjoy (Looks like is not asking for more) :) I shall list the stated benefits
as follows:
1. $20,000 – Baby Bonus cash and co-savings
2. $53,000 – infant and chid care subsidies
3. $10,000 – tax savings
4. 4 months paid maternity leave per child
5. 6 days paid child care leave per year per parent
All this is equivalent to about $142,000 as stated. I know we are pass this entitlement. :) The leaflet encourage readers to share their views and i quote: “The Government is reviewing our population policies and would like to hear your views”
Stay Healthy! Be Happy! :)
With the new slew of baby incentives, it is hoped that young parents be encouraged to have a SECOND or THIRD child.
***********
Another question for critical thinking …
In the Sunday Times (16/9), there is a write-up entitled “To give or not to give”, regarding whether adult children should give money to their parents.
Most baby boomers when they started working, gave a portion of their salary to their parents naturally. What about the grown-up children of baby boomers? Do they give money to their parents? i understand that many do not because they assume their working/retired parents do not need financial support from them.
The poser in the paper is: Do you give an allowance to your parents? For silverhair, I have adapted the poser to “Do you think adult children should give their parents a monthly allowance”?
Put on you thinking cap ….share your views. :)
Hi Jassmine #28,
To your poser, “Do you think adult children should give their parents a monthly allowance”, I have a view point.
I would hope traditions and culture can be maintained. If adult children can give their parents a monthly allowance, this would be ideal; big or small, tangible or intangible. However, if the adult children cannot give, I don’t think this should be something we should expect and demand.
Terence Seah
My view is adult working children should give a monthly sum of money to their parents, especially parents who live in HDB flats.
Will elaborate later….
Re. #30
Actions speak louder than words and i believe whether adult children give or do not give money to their parents reflects their values in life.
However, if the adult chilren are financially independent and not providing financial support to their elderly parents who are anxious about their retirement nestegg, my view is the parents should not keep quiet but let their adult children know their concerns and leave it to them to see how they can help.
i hope we don’t lose the virtue of filial piety.
Hi Jassmine, this is my 2-cents worth..
I started joint a/cs with my kids when they were young and put all their ang-pow monies and whatever birthday monies. When times were bad, i took the monies (without their knowledge) but put back only when i can. Now they are working and our “instructions” to them are: put about 10 to 15% of what you earn into the joint a/c whenever you can and consider them as savings as well as “filial piety” monies. The a/cs are joint anyway, but at least, we can tap on it if we need. They understand that we have no need at the moment because we are have our incomes, but being open about it made more “palatable” to them. My poor experience with my in-laws when i got married has taught me that independence at old age is very important indeed..:)
Hi Inez
Thanks for sharing. I would like to suggest, if you have not already done so, to use a portion of the savings in your joint a/c to buy gold jewellery.
Gold price is very high now, but many predict it will continue to rise, so it’s good to buy now for your children when they prepare for their weddings. lol!
Quite shocking to read in Sat’s S.T. (29/9) about a 20-year-old man sending letters to the rich asking them to give him a sports car. Don’t know whether to admire his guts or to despise his character.
It’s incredible that this youth sees nothing wrong in begging the rich for expensive things…perhaps by clever selection of words , in this case, using ‘sponsor’, he fails to see himself as a beggar.
The question for critical thinking is “Are you comfortable with the idea of today’s youth asking rich strangers for expensive things?”
Hi Jassmine,
i think your comments above can be a new post for discussion.
yes i agree that the 20year old is incredible – but this is the generation of everything “latest”,”materialistic” and “branded”. It is sad – but it is really difficult to raise a child nowadays. The influence of the world is so LOUD that our voices and values are so often strangled, missed and forgotten. I can only console myself that i’ve done my job as a parent the best i can. When i’m gone to meet my maker, i think he’ll understand..:)
Ref #34
On the contrary we should not totally write off the young man’s aspiration. Who knows? He may meet a right person at the right place at the right time.
He may chance upon another Mr. Cecil Choa who offers $80 millions for any man to marry his daughter. The young man may get an offer under a different circumstance.
The chance is there however remote it may be.
As an illustration the chance to hit the first prize in TOTO draw is also very remote indeed. Yet every week there are many hopefuls dreaming to become instant millionaires.
By the way, the chance to hit the jackpot is 1 in 8,145,060. Many people cannot visulize how big is this number. To count manually one million dollars in one dollar notes, it will take about eleven and half days.
Of couse the man’s chance would be increased if he has something to offer.
Hi Inez
I find it awkward to start a new post with the same objective of critical thinking. I know this post has been pushed to the 2nd page of the post listing and may take some time to locate. A faster way to find it is by using the search bar.
Yes it’s difficult to instil the values of thrift, patience, hard work, sacrifice…in today’s children because the environment is not conducive.
#36
Since this young man is motivated by avarice, it won’t be surprising if he has applied to be a toy boy of Mr. C Choa’s daughter. Am positive he’s licking his lips at the thought of the $80 millions! lol!
I look forward to reading articles contributed by the director of NNI in the Sunday Times. They are well researched and easy to read.
Last Sunday she wrote her concerns about children growing up in a materialistic culture. One thought provoking statement in the article is:
“we can be happy as long as we are moderate and contented with the simple things in life and not hanker after luxuries. If our goal in life is to accumulate material pleasures, then we will forever try to earn more money, and there would be no limit to how much we want” – Sunday 21/10. think pg 39
The main issue here is happiness. Question: What in life will make us happy people?
Do share your thoughts/response :)
Hi Jassmine #38,
I have always marvelled at people who make such a comment. Why do they make such statements? Are they poor, middle or rich?
I cannot say happiness is not related to material pleasures. How many people make it a goal to accummulate material pleasures? Who does?
But obviously we all make it a goal to be happy. I do.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence #39
To be contented with the simple things in life and not hanker after luxuries….it’s a philosophy of life. This philosophy, i believe, is a recipe for good health and peace of mind.
So what will make you a happy person, Terence?
Hi Jassmine #40,
I think I am easily happy. In fact, I am happy with everything and anything.
1. I enjoy spending time with my son and wife. Even though, I see them two weeks a month, I am happy. Well because, I am free for the other two weeks.
2. I have to admit I enjoy working and making money to sustain my simple life. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this. I dont need luxuries. I love to travel, and enjoy the sights of the globe we are in. A cup of nice aromatic coffee every now and then, two glasses of my favourite “Famous Grouse” also every now and then too
3. I enjoy seeing Seniors come together, enjoying the balance part of their life, and telling the rest of the world that we have still many good years to go.
4. Watching a Taiwanese drama, listening to all kinds of songs, under the mango tree, I am happy.
I think that most Singaoreans do not hanker after luxuries. But, it is nice to have. Why not, if we have the means and the ways? We work all our lives.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence
I’m glad you are in the category of happy people. Many people are also in this category.We have things to do, people/things to love and…. hopes? Life is good.
We also know that life is not a bed of roses; it is also unpredictable, so when times are bad, can we cope and remain happy, optimistic and strong during times of deprivation? failure? ill health? etc. Hmmm…let me put on my thinking cap.
The following personal thoughts were triggered by the post on Alzheimer disease writen by Johnny Pow.
Some people esp the successful ones, believe that one’s life is under one’s control. They preach: know what you want out of life and go all out for it.
But i don’t subscribe to this credo because of unforeseen circumstances appearing and thwarting one’s well laid-out plans. In fact, there are many situations where we feel helpless -2 e.g. there is no guarantee we cannot be stricken by terminal diseases. In the office, how many times dare we say ‘no’ to our superior for work allocated to us?
S. Covey (motivational speaker) propounded the 90/10 principle. He says 10% of our life is out of our control. I say, for ordinary mortals, 20% – 50% of our life is beyond our control.
We do our part for the outcomes we desire and then it’s left to our fate/destiny which we have no control over.
Here it’s either Creator blest or que sera sera
2-ct’s worth
The news that gold trading firm ‘Gold Guarantee’ is in trouble was quite shocking(S.T. Wed 23, B1).I’d thought their gold investment scheme was a good hedge against inflation, but changed my mind when i learnt more about it.
Just three months ago the firm was holding gold ‘seminars’ and i attended one of them. The rep assigned to me started by focusing on the benevolence of the CEO (now uncontactable!)and i became wary.
Anyway this latest news is a wake up call to senior citizens to guard their nesteggs well. It’s important to seek 2nd, 3rd…opinion before making a commitment – better to be safe than sorry.
Feel really sorry for the customer who said (in the news report) that she opted for a “safekeeping receipt” instead of keeping the gold bars (2kg!). Sad.