Hi! Catherine,
I rather like some of the jokes you put up, especially about the politicians. I would like to meet up with you one day and share some of my jokes which I’m not sure the other SHCians would enjoy.
Roland
14 thoughts on “Jokes by Catherine”
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Lunchtime Joke,
You know Indonesia is famous for their ‘Indo Mee’ say one guy. Other guy said ‘Malaysia also has a famous mee’ . What is that? The local guy said so famous now you dont know ‘ so do my , lah’.
Another guy thought and said ‘hey Spore also has an ala carte mee lah ‘ you know what’ it is pay n pay mee lah ‘
Cheers
Lighter Looks : How Singapore was founded
Hokkien version. When Raffles stepped off the boat onto Boat Quay, a man came running by to announce the birth of his son, “see ta poh, see ta poh”, which means ” gave birth to a boy”.
Malay version. When Raffles sailed up the Singapore River for the first time, a lady was bathing in the river, leaving her clothes on the riverbank. Babu Singh came by and stole her clothes. The upset lady started shouting “Singh kapoh! Singh kapoh!” which means “Stealing clothes! Stealing clothes!”
Indian version. Parameswara was sleeping and dreaming on a tree. He was rudely awakened by an animal resembling a lion. In shock, he screamed “Singa porda! Singa porda!” which means “Lion get lost! Lion get lost!” -adapted: Singapore in a nutshell/NTU.
Enjoy and warmest regards,
KYL, Andrew
“A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, “Who Should we notify in case of an accident?” He mulls it over and then writes, “Anybody in sight!”
A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing their future one night.
“Honey”, the wife said, “if I were to die one day and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?”
“I suppose so – it’s paid for.”
“How about our car? Continued the woman. “Would the two of you keep that?
“I suppose so – it’s paid for.”
“What about my golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?
“Heck, no,” the husband blurted out. “She is left-handed.”
Laughter is the world greatest medicine.
Cheers
Dear Catherine and Roland
Like to join you folks on such jokes for laughters to.
Can start a separate appropriate forum.
Warmest regards
Live humbly, healthily and simply within means and good values. Don’t compromise one’s healthy body, sound mind and clean spirit.
To stay healthy in body, have the discipline to have daily exercise.
Hi Roland,
Sure, would like to meet up with you too but you have to let me know date and time as I’m working full time.
But then hor? jokes are for laughter so I’m sure other SHCians would enjoy your jokes too right?
Cheers
bbc
Quote : Today (dd 2 Apr)- Another fine mess at UBS.
The Swiss giant reported further damage from the sub-prime crisis – first Q loss of S$16.5B and write-downs of about USD19B.
Last Dec, GIC has invested CHF 11B, now the Swiss bank would seek CHF 15B in new capital.” Unquote
2) With our retirement nest and savings, what are lessons learned.
Stay within assets that have explicit value and acquire them to generate income and value.
3) Acquire deep knowledge and clear and sound understanding and experience with wisdom in money management. Stay faithful, disciplined and be diligent with little, much will surely comes. What one sows, one will reap.
A good tree bears good fruit, a bad otherwise.
Live humbly, healthily and simply within means and good values. Don’t compromise with good body, mind ans soul.
Andrew @ #5
Is this a joke or serious piece? Why USD xx billions of write downs. The figures are published. If taken factually this sounds more like a horror story; more like “Nightmare on Shenton Way”. If this is a serious piece, where’s your analysis, opinion and remedies.
If this is meant to frighten people about the dangers of trading financials then remember. The billions lost by the ones on the dumb side of Wall street are billions won by others on the other side – the Smart Sidestreet.
As far as we all are concerned, we are all indirectly gambled up to the necks in this game. Our lifestyle is staked whether you like it or not.
Point is stay to beg on the dumb side of the street, or move over to the smart end.
Your lifestyle is a sum total choices that you make. Some choiices are big; others small. This is the mother-of-all choices that you can make for your future.
Addenda to para 2 ….. that failed to benefit the company’s investors.
1) Early this week UBS wrote off another USD xx billions, today the largest US bank by assets, Citigroup, may write down a further USD8.5B largely on collateralised debt obligations (CDOs)
Citigroup had a net loss of almost USD10B in the 4th Q because of sub-prime mortgage write-downs.
2)John Reed, one of the masterminds of the USD 166B merger that created Citigroup in 1998 said the merger was a mistake that failed to benefit the company’s investor.
He said it was unclear whether the company’s model or management deserved the greater share of the blame for its problems.
3) ” The specific merger transaction clearly has to be seen as a mistake”.
A food for thought in managing our liquid and fixed assets – BT 5-6 April 08.
Lately, PatrickY too got bitten by the quotes mania….pls see his quotes in another thread.
I think we shd all be original. So tim has his :
1. Love me, loath me but that’s me.
2. Tim tim liu, mun mun liu, liu ng tim, ji kei liu, liu ng sai, tai ka liu.
3. It’s easier to make an angry cow drink than to ask a happy SK Singh to wear a turban.
4. Give Terence a whisky and he’ll danz like a monkey set free.
5. Anyone who says that KT’s head is kosong lives in the comedies of WangSa YaFong.
Terence @ #2
No don’t be like that. Then what is A going to say? We’ll miss his collection of KS (King Solomon) quotes.
I am waiting for the “cut the baby in two” judgement call instalment. If this gamble made in a formal ruling (which means he meant business whoever reacted) is wise, then wisdom in those days are long on impulse and short on objective evidential proof.
hee-hee
Politicians have their rights of published expression too. But I understand the perils if we start to joke and comment on politican quotes.
Shall we say no direct quotes from local politician except if they are SHC registered members.
Now isn’t this a more rational win-win situation for all?
Just a reminder that this forum is not for political discussion. Quotes from politicians are not allowed.
Failure to abide by this rule will definitely lead to the removal of membership and access to this forum.
Terence Seah
Fun are they, Roland.
Like to hear them too.