Why don’t husbands send flowers or even remember their wives’ b-days?

Darlings

I have heard this a gazillion times and each time it makes me wonder, too, cos my ex always remembers and I must say, those were the moments I cherish till today; not just the flowers, gifts and a nice dinner, but the thought behind it to make my b-days memorable.

This topic is not just for husbands/boy frens/partners to ‘come clean’ kekekekee and tell us why but it’s also for wives/girlfrens/partners to share with us how they feel.  Some may not think the b-day is such a big deal so what’s the fuss?  Others may feel…………..

Share, darlings.

47 thoughts on “Why don’t husbands send flowers or even remember their wives’ b-days?”

  1. Hi GT, lady boss,

    When I saw the post, I imaged that you suddenly remembered me before you sleep and you wrote this post then went sleep sweetly.

    I am not joking as you don’t like joking, you will fire me. Also you will fire me if I don’t comment this post, right?

    Yes, I am one of the not so many husbands in this world who never send a gift to his wife. May be the only one was after my wife’s operation (minor), my sons draw a picture to welcome her home, and they asked me to draw myself too in the picture and gave it to their mother. Worse, I even have not noticed was she happy when she received the picture.

    But before she passed away, I always considered myself as one of the not so many best husbands in the world.

    She is my first girlfriend and my last (when she was alive). She was my only wife and the only woman in my life (until now). I seldom have feeling for other ladies but just one (before she passed away). That is after I migrated to Singapore and work in a company. I met a lady there. She treated me very good – helping me when I need, chatting and teasing me (sometimes) when I free. I found it was not right afterward and I prevented it (or my wife stopped it in a clever way).

    I never fooling around, My activities are attending night classes (for certification/diploma), MJ on Friday night, walking/cycling/swimming etc at Sat and Sun with my family. My wife knew all my friends, and become better friends with them than me.

    We have a common bank account, I put all my salary in it, then we transfer the money we needed to our own account. We know how much each spent individually.

    So I considered I have done all the best things a best husband should do. Why should I bothered to use ‘OUR’ money to buy gift for her? If she like/need anything, she can use ‘OUR’ money to buy for herself, I never dared to say a word on it.

    But after she passed away and after I joint SHC to know more people here, I realized I am wrong. I should be one of the worse husband in the world.

    What I think the the best, should not be the best my wife needed. May be her best is just a box of chocolates or a bundle of flowers for her birthday, but I never, never did it, and can never, never do it now.

    Now, I know gift can represent care/love and many good feeling more than money can buy (but it can really buy with money), but will it be too late for me, sigh.

  2. Haha, Andrew, I am tickled by your first paragraph. You are half right cos this topic just popped into my mind and after writing it, I REMEMBERED you.

    Yes, I was hoping you would share with us and if you don’t, I will not fire you; just extend your probation for another year. Kekekekeee.

    Thanks for sharing. I know how ?? you feel for the things you never did to your late wife. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  3. Hi Geraldine
    I for one cannot quite understand the instant enchantment that a bouquet
    of flowers can cast on a wife/ girlfriend/fiancee as I am not the recepient and therefore cannot share the sentiment. Somehow it is different from other gifts such as a box of chocolates.
    So all men take heed. When it comes to her next birthday, try out this gesture
    that has withstood the test of time. You will see the change in her after being enchanted by the magical power of your gift.

  4. For some men they over-rated the magical power of the bouquet of flower and did things to the extreme. Below is an episode reported in the print media.
    After the US movie studio company, Universal Studio was bought over by the
    Japanese, they employed an American as the CEO to run the business as they
    themselves were not savvy in the entertainment market.
    There was nothing amiss about the use of the American talent until one day.
    It was the birthday of his girlfriend who stayed in London. The man chartered a plane and delivered a bouquet of flowers to his beloved who was across the Atlantic Ocean.
    Does this demonstrate the power of love or a case of the misuse of resources?

  5. Robert, if a guy has never given flowers to his wife’s for her birthday and after so many years he does it, the wife would probably think her husband has been up to something naughty and sent it out of guilt. Also i have heard about wives complaining it a waste of money. They would rather have a good meal. Or some guys simply dont get it. I love my flowers and a good dinner to celebrate, which i always had until…… But i look back fondly and cherish them.

    Geraldine, I agree with you the good feeling of receiving tne flowers because of the thought behind it. Especially when they go to the florist to pick them out.

    So guys its never too late.

    Cheers
    Carly

  6. Hi Andrew,

    There is no need for you to regret. Based on what you said in the post above, you
    were good to your wife. You gave her full access to your bank account and she could buy whatever she liked. If you had asked her whether she preferred this arrangement or the alternative of getting an allowance and a bouquet of flowers on her birthday, I think she would opt for the first alternative (if she thinks like me).

    If your wife knew you well and knew that you are not the romantic type, I think you
    would have got into trouble if you had tried to send her a bouquet – she probably thought you were guilty of some mischief.

    I think I am in a position to comment because my late husband was also the “unromantic” type. In the early years of marriage, I did wish that he would buy
    me gifts and flowers like some ofmy friends’ husband did. After a while, I told myself there is no point lamenting. Instead of waiting for him to buy me gifts, I can do it myself – afterall the money is comimg from a joint account and the best part is I got to choose what I really like – no hassle! And I can buy whenever Ilike, there is no need to wait for that special day.

    I hope sharing my point of view will make you feel better. See you at the Table Tennis game next week.

  7. Aww…..Robert, it is ROMANTIC, not a waste of resources. I can imagine his girl fren’s reaction; the disbelief, the shock and pure joy that he would go to the extent to make her feel extra, extra special!!

    Love your ‘reminder’ to the men and you know what? If they want to see a bigger change in their wives, besides the 999 roses, attach a diamond ring, something small will do, say, 5 carats. Bwahahaha.

    Thanks for your sharing!

  8. Yes, Caroline, if a husband gives flowers to his wife which he never did in the past, the wife may think he is guilty of something; in that case, he would be in deep shiat.

    Good to know you have sweet memories like me to cherish.

    Now, what is the phone number of that CEO?? Let’s go get him. Mwah.

  9. Thank you, Barbara, for sharing with us.

    I like your ‘there is no point lamenting’ attitude and happily getting gifts for yourself – what I call ‘on his behalf’.

    Totally.

  10. Hi Barbara

    Thanks for sharing your point of view, but I will still keep my regret for my wife, as this give me a reason to make her always on my mind. I am a lazy guy, I need some reason to do something. Otherwise, I will out of sign and out of mind, haha.

    Already told Linda I cannot touch the table tennis table until Sept as I got something to do. I know Linda will also absent due to trips. See you in Sept.

  11. Dear Andrew,
    I have socialized with you a couple of times and I found nothing wrong with you. Yes some weaknesses but some weakness is a plus factor for matured people. Like you, I am very weak in PR but we are blessed with strong EQ which is far more useful than PR. Our words come from our heart and not just to make people feel happy. You, being single again, a wise lady will treasure you as you have learnt and will change for the better. To remain single, some will argue that is best as they wish to cherish their new found freedom but I beg to differ. To stay with a permanent partner be it married or not has more advantages than staying alone. The occasional time of loneliness is costly as we are paying with a day of our life for each night of loneliness. Whatever happens in the past, life must move on as failure is success if we learn from it. Please remember no man is rich enough to buy his own past, so enjoy each moment before it gets past again. With your next partner, I suggest you should not only send flowers but more importantly with a sincere love letter well expressed. So, be physically energized, emotionally connected, mentally focused and spiritually aligned. Cheers! SS

  12. Hi SS

    Thanks for your advice. I truly agreed with what you said

    Talk with true heart may not make people happy, but if you act as what you talk, it won’t hurt others. Much better than those people who ???, ???. We both talk with heart, so we can chat.

    I don’t afraid of lonely, I used to it for most of my life. I also don’t think to stay single is a great thing. I just don’t want to ?? get one. To get one you truely love is the most ?? feeling we can get. If I got one, I will devote all my life to her. I have found one, but failed, What to do? Sigh.

    But I will keep on looking and hope can find one if it is not too late.

  13. This reminds me of a real life romantic story……..In the mid 90s, I was stationed at Upper Pickering Road and if some of you could recall, the building along South Bridge Road was Pidemco Centre (Now known as One George Street).

    Inside there were this POSB bank. On one occasion, I noticed at a table nearer to the wall, hung a string of dried roses, some had already turn brown and crispy. I remembered a total of 8 roses with a fresh red rose at the end.

    Being a frequent customer chatted with the teller and was told her manager’s then boyfriend had given her each rose for every birthday since the day both started courting.

    Guess who gave her the fresh rose?

  16. Heehee, Karen, it may be BL…..

    Hi Boon Liang

    Thanks for sharing such a romantic story. The manager treasured the thought so much that she kept each of them over the years…….sweet….

    So, who gave her the fresh rose? Another boyfriend? Oh-oh…….

  17. Hahaha Boon Liang
    The question remains. Who gave her the fresh rose.We would like to think you gave the fresh rose. On one hand, you described that the seven other roses were brown and crispy which means that the previous romance had ended.
    On another, a new chapter of romance had started. You said “This reminds me of a real life romantic story…….”
    Hi Geraldine
    Your surmise is quite plausible. Another boyfriend? Yes, like what Karen has said, “TBL You Lor!!!!!!!!!” He had started the new romance.

  18. Surely, its not me. Ya, come to think of it after all these years, why didn’t I make the move….anyway, I’m just an observer. so guys, Think, its easy.

  19. Hi Boon Liang
    The fresh rose was sent by the same boyfriend. For some reasons which I can
    only guese, he had for a period stopped sending. The period could not be long as some flowers were not so withered.

  20. Boon Liang

    The suspense is killing me!!

    But……….it’s exciting at the same time. Guess you want more members to join in the fun to solve the mystery man or woman??

  21. The fresh rose at the end was a realistic-looking artificial rose that symbolised the FRUIT of the seven-year chase. It was placed there by the manager herself after she got married and subsequently failed to receive a rose from her hubby on her birthday as was his tradition. The ‘everlasting’ red rose symbolised her everlasting, romance-filled marriage. :)

    (always like happy endings. lol!)

  22. TBL,

    Let me try. She finally married her boyfriend, now husband. The fresh rose is from him. Fairy-tale ending and yet it is real. So romantic and such unwavering love …

    GingkoT

  23. Ahh……..Jassmine, so nice to hear from you! Hope you are keeping well.

    The poet in you and the romantic you (me, too) want the love to be cherished and be everlasting even after the now-taking-her-for-granted-husband, gosh, has stopped the tradition.

    Love your answer!

  25. So there were 8 dried roses n 1 fresh rose?

    I’ve this prepared but as my pc seem to be old & slow, (cantonese says Lut Tow Lut Kuat)….just managed to get this over….

    1) The bf became the husband n after they got married, he took her for granted n didn’t give her anymore flowers. Then he read GT’s post. So he went n got her a rose.

    2) The bf became the husband n after they got married, he took her for granted n didn’t give her anymore flowers. Then he had an affair n she wanted to divorce him. He appeased her by giving her this fresh rose.

    3) The bf became the husband n after they got married, he took her for granted n didn’t give her anymore flowers. Then she gave birth to their first born, a son. He was very happy n bought her this rose.

    Ya. That’s why she hung it with the has been roses n not leave it in a vase.

    4) The bf became the husband n after they got married, he took her for granted n didn’t give her anymore roses. The fresh rose was from her boss whom she slept with to get her promotion to bank manager.

    5) The bf fell into a coma after 7 years because of an accident. When he awoke from his coma, he remembered his gf n sent her a rose again.

    6) The 7 roses were from BL. Then we broke up. Then a couple of years later, I wanted to patch up, n thus sent the rose but….

    7) And then the fresh rose is one year after they got married?

    8) Her now husband gave her the fresh rose.

    Interesting but thanks Robert, Jasmine & Ginko for contributing, love your answers too. Haha

    All of the above

    Non of the above

    Answer#___________

  27. Wahahaha….so many versions for answer. Since I like happy ending to romantic story, I shall pick ” #8 – Her now husband gave her the fresh rose”.

    Cheers,

  28. BL
    I noticed the consistency : after bf became husband he took her for granted.

    During 1st year of my marriage, my ex used to come home with a bouquet of white lilies (my favourite) every Friday. Unfortunately, there is no happy ending for me.

    Nowadays, I get a bouquet from a sweet SHC gentleman whenever he comes to my once a year open house. I wonder how he know my favourite or was it a coincidence?

  29. Wahhhh BL, still keeping us in suspense with this multiple choice?

    Alright, I shall take part but will choose more than one answer, say, 4, as if buying 4D.

    Answers: 3, 5, 6, 8.

  32. Gingko Gracie, what is your answer? I think BL wants to have a minimum number of answers before he reveals the answer.

    So, Terence, Caroline, Dolly, Lily, hurry hurry pick your answers and other members hurry, too!!

  33. Good morning everyone. Beautiful Sunday!

    Geraldine, My idealistic answers: 7 & 8. I like this non-fictitious tale to have a dreamy, romantic ending :-)

    BL, you are not leading us on, or are you?

  36. Ok, Robert’s answer is number 5.

    Where is Terence? Not one beep from him. Perhaps he is too shy to share with us how romantic he is toward his wife or may be he only gives her flowers when he is guilty? Which means after every trip? Kekekekeee.

  37. BL

    Stop play the “play hard to get” game la … u are too old for it … There is no answer to this question and u are making story la….

    karen

  38. Hi Geraldine
    Worse than not sending roses and forgetting birthdays…
    Recently I witnessed an incredible incident. I was on a double decker bus seated at third seat from the entrance. An elderly man, holding only his farecard , was standing at the entrance waiting to alight. Then I saw an elderly woman wobbling down the stairs. Her right arm/hand was gripping a shoulder bag, a long umbrella, a coconut stick broom and three plastic bags of shopping. Her left hand was touching the wall for balance as she descended. I was hesitating whether to go get the stick broom from her when she reached the bottom.
    The bus stopped. The elderly man got off in a jiffy; the elderly woman struggled a little to alight. The bus driver was patient. As the bus was pulling out of the bus bay, I saw the elderly man walking leisurely off with the stick broom while the elderly woman was still at the bus-stop seat organizing her things. I realised he was her husband! Pui! so callous to his spouse!

    No cheers to longsuffering wives!

  39. Pui! indeed, Jassmine. Poor woman. Can’t imagine what her life is like being married to such a shithead.

    Some husbands/boyfriends/partners are really mean to their other half.

    In this case, he will not give her flowers. I doubt he will remember her b-day. Let’s hope he is not a wife beater.

    Sad……….

    Thanks for sharing.

  40. Phew, these days with multiple layers of work and taking over others who has left, leaves me little spare time to sneak into this post.
    Now I’ve 2 min to answer this.
    Yes I heard you all and I know you guys are anxious as to who gave her the fresh rose?

    Yes, her than bf and now Husband gave her the fresh rose with a diamond ring.
    He proposes to her after 1.5 yrs of dating.

    Now guess the size of the Diamond ring……….oh oH oh Oh Boy! ($#@$^#&#$#&)

  44. Karen
    I think when BL sent a ring to his GF’s, His GF will consider the ring size is equal to BL’s heart size. Should it be big or small?

    BL
    Have you send a ring to your GF? Don’t be the one ??? hor.

  45. Yes, it’s#8.
    Her husband gave her the fresh rose with a brand new 2 carat diamond ring for her tender loving care while he was down with dengue fever. Well that’s the way this true romantic story ends.

  47. BL

    What kind of ending is your “Silly” love story !!! getting a 2 carats Diamond ring is such beautiful ending and why suddenly the “dengue fever” !!!

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