Here’s a thought that has been going in my mind since our last BBQ picnic at Changi Beach Park. It has also bothered me as to how some members think about the cost of events.
Paul came all the way to meet me at the BBQ picnic, specifically to bring me the message on what some members of his group feel about the cost of the BBQ event. I won’t try to read further into the comment, but it goes like this.
To participate in the BBQ picnic, members who come without bringing along any food have to pay $10. Those who bring food, enough for 4, will have a discount of $8. In other words, they pay a net of $2.
Those who came just for the event, will need to pay $10.
If everybody brings along food, they will need to pay $2 each.
The issue is if a member comes along, with food, he/she will have enough food for 4 Pax.
The question is if there is food for 4 Pax, then why is there a need to charge $10. Where did the $10 go to?
And, if everybody brings food, what is the point of collecting $2.
I decided to EO this event because I was looking for a breezy place, for a members gathering, with plenty of standing room to move around for chitchatting and getting to know one another. And being a Sat afternoon, this will be a pleasant change.
Thinking about it again, I am grossly shocked at the insinuation by Paul’s group. And I am wondering if I should be affected by these remarks.
I hope to hear members’ views.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence
It is always fair that all member pay the same fee.
I always think too many cooks spoil the broth !
Appointing a group of member to prepare the food and all collection will be use on the food as well as other hidden cost like rental of BBQ Pit , prizes for game if any .
Why make it so complicated on all these different collection that confused and make some members feel so unfair on the collection.
Make thing easy and simple . Don crack your brain juice so much till yr hair turn white or botak !!!!
I don see why u shud be affected by Paul’s remark – he just simply letting u know of the feedback from the other members.
Is good that members give feedback or comment b4 & after every event to improve on any current/future event and help new EO to plan properly or improve further.
That my many many cent tot !!!
Come and enjoy the event and Be Happy !!!!! EO job is never easy – Just appreciate them after every event !
karen
Relax terence. I am sure u can handle it. U are good at such. We all know u dont mean it.. So why do u even write about that 10$ issue? In the end.. U did not collect any money anyway!
Terence, as with all event organisers, you have done a great job in bringing people together. I don’t think anybody has complained about the people, the place, or the picnic as a whole. It is quite disturbing when you said you were shocked (and affected?) by “insinuation by Paul’s group”,
There are many who readily fork out a big amount to join a grand event, yet they question such a paltry sum. Why?
It is not just about money. It is not about being petty or calculative. People are naturally inquisitive, whether they explicitly express their doubts in words, or otherwise.
Basically there are 4 Categories of responses when we solicit for participants:
A. Don’t ask and don’t join — the silent majority
B. Ask but don’t join — personal reason or otherwise.
C. Don’t ask but join — the ideal participants every organiser would like to have
D. Ask and join — the thinking individuals who will add life to a function.
The jobs done by an organiser cannot be quantified or measured. There is no price for the agony, anxiety, frustrations and stress that the event organiser has to go through. When the EO decides on a certain amount, people join because they like the event and support the organiser.
However, when the organiser starts putting numbers, with or without reasons, there will be questions. Challenging people’s intelligence rightly invites a response and the organiser owes them an explanation. It is far-fetched to believe every one belongs to Cat. C above. The fear is more may end up in Cat. A if organisers do not appreciate feedback, including wondering and whispering remarks.
DC
DanielC,
Feedback and comments are welcome. It’s just I am shocked at the question.
As I asked earlier, the questions posed by Paul’s group require a maths guru.
1. If a participant brings food, enough for 4 persons, why does the EO need to charge $10? Where did the $10 go to?
2. The participant that brought the food has to pay $2 ($10 – $8), where did the $2 go to?
Is this a simple maths question? Paul stressed he was not shy to mention this issue to me in the face, and has come all the way to the gathering to tell me. I would like to understand the question better, as this clearly affects the workings of EOs. I am definitely shocked.
Terence Seah
Dear Terence,
Managing people expectation is one of the most challenging task. People come in all shape and sizes and thus also their perspective in value of money.
I am not particularly shocked at the questions. Both question are asking where did the contribution (regardless whether it is $10 or $2 ) goes to. If it goes to defray the cost of organising the event, is it rental of the pit,seat or air-con or whatever it is or just go into some one pocket as incentive or commission for organising the event. If it is so, again memeber would then evaluate if it is fair and worth their while to attend.
That is my take. I may be wrong but these are simple specific question that just want an answer. There may be more to it.
Leon
Yah, Terence. Relax!
If I may say, I don’t think those of us present had thought of how much we had spent and how much we must receive in return to cover our costs, much so of the $2.00, if you had asked us for it, which you didn’t of course.
I am sure we noticed the efforts by each and had appreciated them. We were all glad to share the food we brought. Only grouse was perhaps of car park “A” but as we are older and sensible enough, we didn’t lose our way and had made light of it. Ha ha ha…..
Oh, by the way, was there a cost for the booking of the barbecue pit, amongst others?
It’s always very heartening and nice when friends eventually can and do decide to drop by, even unannounced, with or without a contribution, and they add to the merriment of the occasion.
On the contrary, it’s not only very disturbing and embarrassing for the host/EO but to all present, especially if we had been enjoying ourselves, if instead, a barrage of boisterous criticisms, self-opinionated or self-appointed, are inflicted marring the relaxed and congenial occasion. How would one feel if one is on the receiving end?
This scenario is not new. I am sure it has happened to other people and on other occasions, related or unrelated and we have heard or witnessed it and never condoned it.
Why then have we not learnt from it? Is it because there’s too much “self”? Let’s not get carried away………
A little belated, nonetheless, thank you for organising Terence. I had a good time.
Well said Daisy :-) :-) :-)
What about cost of maintaining this portal? Haha
Hi Terence
When I first saw your post, I smiled at your creative idea to get interested members to bring food to the picnic. You just threw in the $10 without a second thought because it was of no consequence, right? No wonder you are shocked now at insinuations.
Any lesson to learn from the incident? How about don’t play with fire er…numbers? Lol.?:)
2-ct’s worth
Hi Jassmine,
I noted your view point. But what would you have done if you were the EO of the BBQ picnic? $2, $5, $15, $20 or 25?
Terence Seah
Hi Terence
This is a difficult question for me as organizing an event is not my forte. Hmm I think I have two options:
1. Everyone pays a flat amount, say $10. If there are twenty participants, amount collected will be $200. This will be the budget for the bbq picnic and it will be given to the working committee to plan and organize.
2. Every participant sponsors something towards the bbq including the charcoal, trash bags , etc. The working committee could put up a list of what are needed and participants select what they wish to sponsor.
Don’t know if there’s a viable third option.
As an EO, one of the most difficult task is to estimate the number of participants in a planned event. So, any number the EO picks to charge eg $10, will always remain an estimate until the event is closed. And, any number the EO estimates for the number of participants will also always remain an estimate, until the day of the event itself.
If $10 is picked, will the amount be sufficient. Good question. No body knows until the complaints come in. I have heard too many.
Sometimes, we say, yes, let’s pass the planning to a committee. How many members have volunteered to organise activities for the Club. I have seen many members who give conditions before being a committee member. Oh, who is in the committee. I want to know first because I just dont want to work with anybody. So, before suggesting passing the idea to a committee or somebody else, think about yourself being the EO or joining the EO to help out with the event.
The second difficult task for the EO is if there are few responses or there is zero response, should he/she cancel the event. The BBQ pit has been booked, the food has been bought, and the accessories have been bought. The date and time have been slotted into his calendar. And, the sky may drop.
The EO has planned 2-3 months ago, with the hope of getting members together so that they can have a good afternoon knowing one another. Helping and providing opportunities for members to meet new friends and old ones too. It’s a commitment as all his travel and business plans are juggled and changed.
To insuinate that the EO is overcharging at $10 or making $2 profit money is a common comment made by some members, usually the same members. As Paul has indicated he represented his group, has come all the way to the gathering to give me a surprise visit and to tell me this issue right in my face, I too like to make sure I clearly address this issue. It is important I respond as this issue has been raised at a group gathering. Not to worry, I have my skin as thick as that of a dinosaur, so I wont be embarassed.
But such insuinations must be addressed. They demoralised the EO and all other potential EOs. Instead of being participative in the Club, these members take snipes at the organisers. As I mentioned, I am grossly shocked at why Paul’s group asked me where the $10 has gone to, even though some members would bring food for 4. And where has the $2 gone to?
Terence Seah
Hmmmmm…….
I an not very active in shc both events or this forum nor have I been a EO.
But as d bbq event was a small group..I may think others not participating may not want to comment.
I only have one question…as d bbq event was posted on 28 march…why was not any issues/questions/insunations whatever raised before d event date so that any miscalculations/mismanagement be corrected????????
Thank you
Hi Terence,
Will not be an easy task being an EO. I always repect the arrangements & efforts by the EO for those event I have attended. My view is EO got the final say & decision.
Stay healthy and be happy.
Cheers
Judy
Judy
Agree with your comments. Being an EO is a thankless job ~ not only are you not paid for the job but ‘stones may also be hurled’ at you when you’ve done your best. Haha…
Warm regards.
Alamak!
I just don’t understand Singaporeans…they are a weird bunch!
If you think the event is too costly or have some reservations because of pricing or complex issues: then just don’t attend!
I don’t blame Terence for his reaction and disappointment at the uncalled comments and oblique inference that somebody is making money from the event.
Daisy: Your comments have always been balanced and practical. I appreciate your encouraging words and response to Terence. I also remember your kind words to me during an early Chiang Mai trip I co-ordinated… Keep up the good work!
Aiyoh, poor Terence.
I know I haven’t been active, for personal reasons, but I just couldn’t stand by and not say anything after reading about this.
How unappreciative and nit- picking can some people get!!
First and foremost, is there any club in Singapore other than SHC, that doesn’t charge a fee for membership?
Who bears the cost of this website? Terence of course.
Those people, who dare to complain about a few dollars which aren’t even enough to defray the cost and worse, to insinuate that the money goes to somebody’s pocket, ought to be shot!!
They join the club for FREE and participate in events organised by willing and voluntary EO’s , who don’t get paid and they dare to complain! Instead of complaining, why don’t they become EO’s themselves and give something back to the club??
Who are these people? Why didn’t they write in the post? Why hide behind someone and take ‘pot shots’ like that? Don’t they feel the slightest bit ashamed to even dare to bring up something like that, which only goes to show their ingratitude to the founder of SHC??
Take heart Terence. I believe those people are only a minority. You can do without them. You have done a great service to your members!
I applaud you.
“I just don’t understand Singaporeans…they are a weird bunch!”
MAY DAY. MAY DAY. Kenneth’s statement above needs help. I don’t know whether Ken is a Singaporean. I am so I shall attempt to make him understand.
A civil servant is paid 100K a month. On top of that he gets a 15K allowance. If this is well documented, duly approved and recognised; it is called “meritocracy”. In time to come, he can choose a unit at a prime residential district. Another civil servant makes a taxi claim of $12. If he is not able to justify it, it is called “misleading story”. In time to come, he may find himself in a room at Changi “Bungalow“.
Accounting is the name and accountability is the game. For better or for worse, this expectation is channelled down to other aspects of working life and daily routines, including social activities like the $10 picnic at.….Changi. Foreigners my find this weird but we have been so conditioned for decades.
Back to the issue. We were not there when the question was asked; hence our reaction is based solely on whatever is expressed here. Indeed, we have seldom, if ever, seen Terence in such a frenzy of rage, so the encounter must be exasperating. Nevertheless, let us not let emotions overrule logic.
I would like to believe the intention of raising this was noble, although the approach left very much to be desired. Ineffective communications hurt rather than help even with the best intention.
A Club sees all kinds of people particularly when there are thousands of members, while a buddy group only needs several like-minded merry-making people to constantly wine and dine together. What are we having now? A good leader wants his members to tell his mistakes, challenge his ideas, offer suggestions so that he can stand tall in front of all members, rather than aides who readily sing his tune, camouflage his flaws, shower praises and continue their clowning ways.
This episode should not be brought to the open if it was treated as an honest feedback by a concerned member. Again, perhaps the approach caused the “explosion”. Now members are alerted. At the risk of being called “insinuating” and “weird”, I too would like to have the answer to the Mathematical puzzle that started this debacle. I accept the answer, “The EO has the final say”. But then, this does not augur well with many – for the simple reason that we are Singaporeans. Have a relaxed Labour Day.
DC
Aiyah Daniel
Of course I’m a Singaporean… a kiasu one at that!
Still, I cannot fathom the sudden need to account for $10 and $2 at a simple barbecue event! Yes, transparency and accountability are the rules of the day…but this is just weird!
First, if any member has a question or reservation, he can bring it up before the event, not wait till the event is on or after.
Second, he has the choice of not participating in the event.
Third, I think Terence has only good intentions; Jasmine’s post on the 29th April may cast a light on Terence’s thought process: “(he) just threw in $10 without a second thought because is was of no consequence…”
Sure, if the event or activity costs hundreds or thousands of dollars, then every right thinking person would want to account for the expenditure or where his money went to.
I was trying to read the long exposition on the China Tibet trip and the Virtual Co-operative: Yes, I think that these guys were trying to be transparent and upfront.
But to have to answer to the disconcerting questions: weird!
Kenneth Tan,
I am a Singaporean but I fully agree with your comment.
Nobody is forcing anybody to participate in any of the events. It’s all voluntary.
I remember the picnic at Pasir Ris park which I EOed a long time ago, with some other person/s.
I voluntarily brought along a large ‘kueh lapis’ to share with everybody. I enjoyed doing it as I had baked it myself. Many others brought numerous other delicious items. It was a potluck. We enjoyed ourselves and nobody complained about how much they had spent on their items.
The only grouse was the ‘free loaders’ who came empty handed but helped themselves liberally to the food. I found this unacceptable. Any small contribution, be it serviettes, disposable cutlery, even water, would have been appreciated.
There will always be free loaders and worse, people who participate or want to participate but complain about having to fork out a few dollars, etc. etc., when so many others willingly contribute. We all have eyes and ears and these are the people who put us off organising events.
I second Kenneth’s statement ,
“If you think the event is too costly or have some reservations because of pricing or complex issues: then just don’t attend!” .
And I’m not “carrying anybody’s b__ls” at all.
Sorry, the last sentence wasn’t meant for you Kenneth, hahaha.
People who have never organized an event will not understand the problem. To balance the cost at 0 that is no gain no loss is a tedious work like having to collect money in advance because there is always a few will not turn up. I organized BQs before for 30-50 people. I don’t like to collect money in advance and what I do is to include some contingency so that I will not make a loss. But people are such that they like to complain or calculative or worst suspicious that you make money. So what if there are surplus at the end of the day, who is to complain when they have not share the pain and money in organizing
That person who came all the way to tell you is a brainless person who is stupidly being used by a group of equally brainless people.
what to do..life still go on
we have to live among people who is unable to think or act correctly
On 25th April when Paul wrote to me “Frisna , thought you were attending . Plan a quiet pop up surprise” I thought it was quite sweet of him trying to save or support Terrence barbecue which had been very quiet at the last minute. When I told him I couldn’t attend and had informed
terence 2 weeks earlier, he said ” Oh.
No wonder he have to bbq his sausage ” so i think when he mentioned about the $ he must have said it in jest too! I am very surprised the ending is like this…
nonetheless i will support you next time terence if time permit. meanwhile get a good accountant…
I don’t think Paul was concerned with the $2 as alleged by some. Why would he or anyone drive all the way to ECP to talk about a theoretical $2 when it costs more than that in petrol and parking charges.
I think Paul was quite sincere and helpful in trying to communicate some misunderstanding on the BBQ pricing formula. Unfortunately it is now deemed to be as if he or even his group was quibbling over $2.
Everyone knows, as does Paul, that Terence has contributed much, both financially and in terms of time and resources towards this club and would never question or begrudge an item of $2. This does not also mean that other members have not contributed time, resources and even small sums of money towards this club also.
As such the feeding frenzy that has erupted should tone down. Already we have a member classifying Paul as brainless etc. That brainless remark cannot be right.
In his own way Paul has helped some other members too and has never, as far as I know, quibbled over a $2 item.
I doubt very much any good will come from continuing this thread.
Peace to all.
Yes, Charles
Totally agree with you… We must not get overboard… But work to a resolution of this issue. Paul has necessarily kept a low profile which may not be a good thing. I know that he has his own reasons but he should come out and clarify the matter.
We should all work toward the common good of SHC. This issue has brought up some aspects of organizing events and functions: How cam we address the cost concerns? How can we improve our communications and encourage feedback? Do we need an accounting, whether fiscal or just a statement, for our organized events?
I was more concerned that such alleged questioning and demands brought up to Terence might discourage others from starting or leading new events. We must continue to welcome and encourage members to be EOs and ECs. Once again I applaud our Cycling and Walking organizers and individuals like Hew Lee, Gabriella and many others for their contribution and support of SHC.
Each time after I have written my views on a controversial issue on this blog, I receive many responses off-line. Generally, people tend to take sides, their stand is either, “You like Mr.A so you help him” or “You don’t like Mr.B so you whack him”. It ends up like a soccer match, with fans on two sides cheering and jeering. This is not my objective.
In life, things cannot be so decidedly black and white. No person is absolutely right or wrong, good or bad. Being a moral judge is the easiest thing to do. People who attempt to put a label on anybody should first look in the mirror.
“Why $2 and $10”? The fact that the organiser cannot give a satisfactory answer does not mean the person has no right to ask. To bring this matter to a CLOSURE, and to tell people who similarly wonder aloud in future, try this,
“I collect $2 and $10 because this is the most common denomination of local currency that we carry. Any other amount will make me search for a change. I don’t have time for that. If you question the value and worth, you may have to pay more after my answer. I will factor in the cost of preparation work, co-ordinating effort, time spent and post event operations. This is supposed to be priceless but since you ask, I shall name a price. So are you prepared to pay?”
A tuition teacher charges $60 per hour. A specialist doctor charges $35 to see you for a minute. A lawyer charges $200 to put his signature on a piece of paper. What price EO?
I hope this answers the legitimate, albeit sensitive question. We should thank Paul for giving us the opportunity to clarify.
DC
Why used such a harsh word “brainless” on a person? Only Jellyfish are brainless. My observation from your frequent comments always seems to be critising, negative and at times talking rubbish!
Please be mindful of others feeling, I am just saying my peace of mind……oh gosh, dont throw hard boiled eggs at me hor! ;)
Ah Nee
Ah Nee, you mean rotten eggs!
To be or not to be an EO?
First of all, it is NOT always a smooth sailing journey to run any event. There will be hiccups, big or small, along the planning or during the event stage. At post event, some will do an evaluation.
It takes a lot of courage for the EO, to begin with, to post what is in store for members. We can’t read members’ minds and their expectations!
Yes, EOs spend a lot of time, legwork (to recce, to find out an ideal location, etc), crack their brains to come up with an ‘breakeven’ or affordable price tag so that members feel it is reasonable to attend. Also EOs may have to plan an inviting/interesting agenda to attract sign-ups.
Interpretation:
We cannot stop people from thinking or saying what they think is right or wrong but it is hurtful and disheartening to read baseless and harsh comments in this thread.
I agree to what Frisna mentioned. Paul may be sincere in delivering his comments but did not mean the way that it had been interpreted.
**My husband and I bumped into Paul Kong and group (not sure if it’s the same Paul K) by co-incidence on our recent trip. We enjoyed Paul’s intellectual sharing, his gentlemanly manner and friendly approach. We also like the friends in his group, some of whom we met for the first time. The people in his group carry themselves very well and with such great charisma. They are very distant from the ‘kiasu’ Singaporean or the ‘brainless’ syndrome!
I also second Charles Chua’s comments, not because I know him. (By the way we have not met before.) and I enjoy reading some logical and encouraging comments written by members.
I guess we need a closure soon. Thank you
BBQ Picnic by the Seaside
BBQ date was set
And sign-up rate was rock bottom bad
Was it the cost or was EO the cause (??)
For the complex mathematical question
That I wouldn’t attempt to fathom
On the event day, many made EO’s day
Some log in to say – “I’m coming”, “I will swing by”
Some just stayed on after they popped by
Everyone a wonderful time had so much fun
Till the stars outshone the sun
BBQ Picnic by the seaside
Has the fire died?
If not, shall we all bury it?
Kenneth, sorry to have to disappoint you.
I WAS THERE!
I don’t think any of you would have taken well, even staying the coolest you, the way he had talked to Terence.
Why are we not hearing from Paul himself?
DAISY
…. and I do not mean just because Terence is who he is in the Club.
DAISY
Kenneth speaks more sense and sensibility
Ah Nee, sorry I am speaking the truth
you can throw eggs if you want but I will speak speak the truth
Every EO organize because they too want to enjoy the event
Do you know what it is like to be taxed with 10-20 questions
The sensible thing is to discuss among yourselves and have a closure of choosing to attend or not attend
This is the feedback I receive not just about this event
The focus seems to be on Terence’s lack of accounting ability and accountability on the $10 and $2.
If an event does not take off well for whatever reason, I am sure the EO/s will mull over where it could have gone wrong. We all know having feedbacks, good and bad are inevitable.
It seems this has been forgotten though: “Paul STRESSED he was NOT SHY TO MENTION this issue TO ME IN THE FACE, and has COME ALL THE WAY to the gathering TO TELL ME”.
We have acknowledged and are attempting to address the hard skills and there were definitely ample time and opportunities to address this before the event.
What about the soft skills? Insult seemed to have been added to injury?
If graciousness is called for to bring this to a close then don’t you think there should be graciousness and courage to admit to the lack of soft skills?
Daisy
Let us close this chapter. It has been an exciting Labour Day. Besides some extreme adjectives showered on Singaporeans in general and an individual in particular, this has been a civilised and productive discussion. You are right, Daisy. Where is the soft part? We gave Paul the benefit of the doubt by saying his intention was good. He ought to apologise to Terence for his – for lack of a better word – intoxicated approach. Let’s move on.
DC
I had a pleasant day yesterday. Caught 15 herrings, 6 trumpeters and 1 Yellowtail. All edible and within legal size. My wife frieded half the lot and the other half, we just steamed them for lunch. Seems to be the season for Australian Salmon, but I didn’t catch another. Beautifully quiet, slight breeze and a cool 18C, at a residential jetty, in Fremantle.
I had intended an enjoyable afternoon BBQ for members, with no program, but only to get to know one another, in a place, other than a restaurant. Obviously, the questions posed to me, in the said manner, and representing a private group, was aggressive and insistent, got me thinking.
What got me thinking?
1. What kind of BBQ and setup are expected for $10. This figure, I picked up from the air. There was no response to this number, except for one or two mathematicans. I was thinking, if one does not bring anything, is $10 for a BBQ high or low. To insinuate, I am surprise.
2. If one brings food, and pays $2, to insinuate that $2 goes to someone’s pocket, fortunately, I was the EO, I can hardly accept it. Can anyone figure out where that $2 goes to?
3. My concern was such remarks, as strong as it was presented to me, turns off EOs. The feedback and opinion from members are clear. Club has never enforced the participation of events on members. If one finds an event unfairly price, please make a decision. Do not discourage the organisers. Do not insinuate and make uncalled for remarks.
4. The Club believes that every member should organise an activity for other member, once in the lifetime of his/her membership. And finally, the EO makes the final decision. And of course, members make their decision to attend too.
And be conscious if you are the wet blanket type, the discouraging time, the negative type and the insinuating type.
I end my comments on this post.
Terence Seah
We ought to be grateful to the founder who selflessly started this group and many a times not counting the cost e.g. giving out hundreds of toast coffee vouchers to us without charge
But many have benefited from this group and started forming their private groups so that they can choose who they want to be with. Others blatantly exclude some in their insidious way. These I have no complain because that’s basic behavior of people wanting to be in their comfort zone. It is tiring to mix with all types of people and people you cannot appreciate or feel a pain to be with.
Btw I do not know who is Paul
That must be my cue, the closing bell.
Admin/Terence allow mine to be the last comment. Some members still do not know it is the same thing.
Let me try to summarized this ‘explosion’ in story book form. Children love stories, especially when it ended with….they live happily ever after.
I even have a title to this story namely – Care and Concern among SHC members.
Before I start with the….once upon a time, allow me to reply to May Woo.
May, you not Singaporean la. Why you not ‘kiasu’? Confucius say don’t be confuse between winning and losing. ‘ Kiasu’ is natural.
If you are afraid of losing, don’t be, sit on the winning side and while there take some pot shot and name calling at it. Usually you can get away with it and score some credits. Weird right especially if you do not know the guy and have never met.
Ok now let start with the ..once upon a time.
Title of book:- Care and Concern among SHC members.
Yes May, you did bumped into me and SHC members on board Star Virgo on 28 March 2014. That was the first day over lunch. I introduce you to the rest of the member and their sons. It was chit chat and sharing of ideas, views and it seems that we are not getting enough time doing that.
The following night, at the theater, you reserved some seats for your newly found friends at the expense of nasty look and ugly comments by other patrons. This are the qualities I am looking for. Team player, care and concern for others. Yes, we would love your company in our group activities. In this blog I notice made some comments from your mind. Is it the truth?
5th April 2009 – Trip to Perth.
Get to know some very caring members in SHC.
Did most of the driving. On the first toilet stop to a mall, Lisa Ong went straight to the pharmacy to buy medications for my severe sore throat and nurse me throughout. In the morning Grace came to the breakfast table with ‘panda eyes’ because of Lisa’s snoring. That night, Lisa shifted to the hall’s sofa so that Grace could have a good night rest.
Agnes, Patrick’s wife prepared “lou han gua” chinese cooling tea for my sore throat in large quantity enough for all. While we all slept, Agnes was preparing our breakfast for tomorrow when I woke up to go to the toilet. She was baking bread so that we could have it fresh at 7.30am in the morning. I believe that was close to midnight. For dinner everybody ask for fried fish, she did that, but added another steamed fish because she knows my sore throat cannot handle fried stuffs.
After all the introduction, we tend to understand each other better over breakfast, lunch, dinner and tea time. Hou Chong, who we met for the first time, invited us to his home in Perth, entertained us to tea and guitar session. Later, while travelling around we got some insight into Terence’s personal life after his second whisky.
Remember, this is our first encounter with one another including Terence.
I have made a DVD video on this trip, whereby I named Agnes to be a Super Mum and distributed to all participants. Allow me here again to thank Agnes and Patrick not forgetting Hou Chong who we met for the first time and Lisa (nick name – loving mother hen) for such Care and Concern not only to me but to all present. Terence did you get a copy?.
22 May 2009 – Trip to Batu Pahat
I organised this trip. Terence participated. Did some small chats and understand a little more about Terence.
28 May 2009 – Trip to Padang
We spend 3 days together. I found him, Terence, accommodating when we check into Hotel Bumimiang that there were insufficient rooms for us all. He volunteer and check into another hotel down the road. Over dinner we had karaoke. He did not mind clowning around to heightening the enjoyment atmosphere for all.
23 April 2010 – Trip to Phuket
Like myself, I found Terence love the sea. He initiated this seaside escapade with deck chairs on the beach and settle in.
Ordered beers and food and was served to us at the beach. Even ordered BBQ fish from passing vendors carrying stove and all. Vincent talk about his ‘charity work’ in Thailand with the ladies which was entertaining and educative. Notice Terence serene.peaceful and tranquil feeling all this while. Is it the sea?. The sand, the sea and the smell. If you do not love the sea, you do not know what I am talking. There is something sentimental about it with Terence like connecting the dots with the sea.
17 Jan 2010 Cabaret Night
Veronique’s concern for the safety of the older members who were made to sit on high stool at the function did not go well with the committee. Her insistence was brought to Terence who invited all to his table. Both display genuine care and concern qualities for others.
16 May 2010 Tea at Nina house
We invite Terence to our inner circle of SHC member gathering at Nina’s house. Exchange of ideas were his frequent travel work related thus being constantly absent from Singapore. Therefore not able to attend our many gathering/activities that we extend to him. Encourage to extend my activities to included the general SHC members. Yes we enjoyed his company.
Now the BBQ in question.
My message was to do the Math with Terence.
Did not went beyond the $2 mark when Vincent interrupted to asked what wrong to collect $2. Vincent have the most insight into Terence personal life thus is most protective of him. Yes true friend do speak up. Just like Charles who have spoken up. You have to tell the truth right? So the $2 fell into the insinuation platform.
My email to his (Terence) personal account with the pictures of the BBQ for coffee to work the Math again received no reply.
Let me try the Math again. No interruption please.
It was never the $2 or $10 that Terence was mad about. You have planned this 2 months ago. So you have to schedule your work and travel around to arrived Singapore by this date. This is quality free time prioritize between family and this BBQ event. All BBQ items foods and equipments will have to be bought and transported to the site. You have not appointed anyone to assist be it purchasing, transport or coordination. Double effort will be required to achieved that without the convenience of a car and coordinator – no sight of the numbers as yet. All this effort (airfare, prioritize time, rescheduling) came to a big disappointment. Just want some time at the seaside. I know your sentimental connection with the sea (Phuket trip remember). Yes, got this short change feeling when I rush back from my overseas working assignment to attend an event and realised that my present was not appreciated.
If I know of a friend who have gone to much sacrifice just to organised a humble BBQ for the enjoyment of others, I will not stand by doing nothing to see him BBQing his sausage alone on a Saturday afternoon by the beach. Even the 24 hrs call did not gather much respond . Alas, there was some unsung true supporters that save the day on that day. But where were the other ‘true’ supporters I read so much about.
Now let try to work the numbers.
$10 free hand – just come.
$2 cook for 5 persons. But it cost more than $10 and the inconvenience to carry it there.
Will take the first option.
But there are some that might take the challenge. Fried Mee Hoon. For less that $10 no problem.
If 20 turn up all with fried Mee Hoon for 100 paxs. What happened?
Or 10 turn up with Mee Hoon the other 10 pay $10. We have Mee Hoon for 50 paxs and you are going to buy BBQ food for 10 paxs? How do you work this formula?
On the other end of this math equation is how did this work on the SHC members in general.
$10 free hand – just come. Best option. Better than the cooking one.
But then who will be there. My gang not there. $10 for what, food only huh? Nobody sign up leh? Don’t know what to expect. 2pm so hot la. The question is are they put off by the $10. Somehow the focus is drawn to the $10 and the other complicated formula and not the BBQ. The formula become the talking point thus resulting in disappointing turn out. Guess it is more the restriction like the cooking and buying that was the put off than the amount. My assumption. Let me elaborate.
Other pot luck sessions , without restriction I might add, on the same location attract 30 to 40 paxs. Yes on a Saturday evening. I attended the Dec 7 last year pot luck just a stone throw from this said location. There were more than 30 members. There were 2 roast ducks, cakes, 2 bottles of wine 1 red, 1 white, curry chicken,braised chicken all in excess of $10. Did not mention the cheaper ones but who is keeping score.
Final tally – we have too much food and a equally good time to match .
Now let me try to get this right.
In our travel together I have gather much insight into your personal life during some lighter moments. Like your Thailand family connection, Perth future plans and some of your various financial investments. Insinuation of you pocketing $2 or even $10 for that matter did not even cross my mind. How did it arrived on to this platform? Brainless and stupid right? Name calling is not healthy, especially when it is in writing. It would lead to ugly eventuality. Have we not learn from past blog?
I was told there are quite a few Caring and Concerning members too in the club. How can I call their names when I have not met them.
Psssst, Did I step on anyone b_ls?. Did not meant to. Me? I don’t carry b_ls, so no b_ls, that is why I am going into hiding.
Do not wants to get shot by mistake or otherwise.
Keeping out of touch.
“insinuating” ,“weird”, “brainless” and “stupid”
Tks Admin/Terence for giving me this opportunity to put this comments/blog whatever.
Oops, almost forgot to end story…..and they lived happily ever after.
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your comments and your group’s. I have closed the issue, as I think the Club has more exciting ideas to pursue.
For general members’ info, I repeat I will stand by the EO for being the organiser of an event; and that all members are free to organise any activity for the Club. The EOs decision is his/her to make. Personally, I am afraid I do not support wet blankets, insinuators and anti-social behavior. I love blue skies.
In short, members are free to participate if they find the activity of interest and value.
I agree Let’s move on. Thank you.
Terence Seah