Today, Singapore has thousands of maids. They are in the homes, looking after babies, sick and disabled elderlies, and families who compare the financial benefits and see it is cheaper to have a maid than not working. With a maid, these families see they would benefit from a better standard of living, instead of wasting their lives doing washing, cooking and cleaning the house. So nice to come home from work, and into a clean house.
It’s a headache to look after babies and young children. They scream and yell, throw the toys around the house, scribble pencil drawings on the walls, and spill milk and chocolate ice cream on the sofas. Babies wake up in the middle of the night, cry and cry until they get picked up and have their stomachs filled. Which of the parents would wake up; or it will be the maid who has to do so.
After a whole day of hard work, can one really come home and cook for our elderly parents. Then, bathe them, put them in front of the TV, chat with them, and later put them to bed. So, nice to have a maid. They get to endure all the calls and screams from our parents who may have dementia and temperamental.
What if one day, the country says, "No maids". After all, in many countries, there are no maids at all. These are very developed countries. Elderly folks stay in the homes, with plenty of friends around. Babies, why cant women stay at home and look after the kids. If the wives are not doing it, then the men can. Or put the kids in a childcare centre, then go to work. Then, rush home after work, and pick them up.
Food, cook them one week in advance, freeze them and then go for the microwave. Rice, it does not take a long time. Soup, fix the slow cooker. Today, home tasks can be productive, there is this round little robot, that can vacuum a 5 room flat within two hours.
Do you have a maid at home? Can you do without a maid? Why do we need to have maids and have all the maids problems.
Let’s have a good chat on this topic. Let’s respect the opinions of other members. Feel free to have a say.
Terence Seah
Terence
Having a domestic helper (dh) certainly helps in many ways, especially when the kids are young or you have elderly parents that need taking care of.
Yes, the western countries put their kids in child care center and pick them up after work, go home to cook and weekends are spent on doing grocery shopping and house cleaning.
When the couple needs a nite out, babysitter is hired to keep an eye on the child/children.
I do not have a dh; there is no need for one as I can manage chores easily. No big deal.
Dh are still needed if you have an elderly parent who is not so mobile or even bedridden.
The question is when this parent needs full time nursing care, should the child send the parent to a nursing home, a hospice for the final days or still let the dh to continue taking care of the said parent?
My answer to this is Yes, the parent should be put in a place where round the clock nursing care is available, rather than to depend solely on the dh who will have other chores to do.
Can we live without dh? Absolutely! Until the shiat hits the fan, as in, when we are not that mobile, dementia/alzheimer sets in, after a nasty stroke etc.
Geraldine
Sometimes the wishes of the parent in question should also be taken into consideration. Many old people prefer to stay with their children.
Our culture is different from the west. Their children leave home when still in their teens. Older folks live on their own as a matter of course. Here, you get children staying with their parents right up to the time they get married or even after. I feel family bonding is stronger in the east.
Having said that, we should also not assume that the availability of domestic helpers would be constant. We would have to prepare for the day when the option to stay at home may not be open to us.
Hahaha!!
Who’s going to make amy cup of coffee in the morning?
Who’s going to wash and iron my clothes?
Who’s going to cook all that delicious Peranakan food?
Did you think it’s my maid or my wife?
Hehehe!
At present, it is my maid… but if no more maid… then it is my wife…??!!
My son, daughter-in-law and my two grandchildren are putting up at my place till their flat is ready in roughly one and a half year’s time. My daughter-in-law had about 6 maids within a period of 3 years and the core reason why she kept on changing maid is because of ME.
Firstly, my husband and myself do not like the idea of strangers living with us. Secondly, as the kitchen is my domain, I get super stressful when anyone shifts my pots, pans, plates, etc around and somehow maids like to do that even though they have been told ‘hundreds’ of times to put things back where they are.
I know most of the Filipino maids are from provinces and they come from poor families. I can accept their slowness in learning but after 3 months they should more or less have learnt what to do. They may be underprivileged but believe me, they’re not stupid. I reckon they have relatives or sisters who have worked in Singapore as maids and they know how to work smart. Yeah, they are definitely not slaves at our beckoning. They do know how to put on a ‘blur’ look when they are being taught how to do simple household chores.
Anyway, I am so glad my daughter-in-law stopped taking in maids and placed my grandchildren in nursery/kindergarten childcare centres. Phewwww!
Personally, I can do without maids. Although they are there to lighten household chores and child-minding duties, I feel that having to keep a watchful eyes on a maid when she is taking care of young children makes me feel like I’m a ‘security guard’….:( I do the cooking at home – again, this fussy old lady don’t like anyone messing about her kitchen…:p With a maid I have to cook more food and so far all the six maids were mammoth eaters, don’t know why…
Thank God I do not have to endure the presence of a stranger in my home any more. Yippeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Cheers
Ros
So far, looks like we can do without maids. I wonder why Singapore does not ban maids? The situation will change. This can lead to more single income families, more childcare centres, and more streamlined traffic. Parents, and not maids, get closer to their kids too.
Kenneth, like you, we treasure our wives better. No, I rather we make the drinks ourselves, and share the housework.
Geraldine, it is nice to see you participate in the Club. You are our contact in HK, and your views on maids in the colony can be just as meaningful in Singapore.
As a country, we cant we just ban maids. Then, other services will get better. Old age homes will become a reality faster.
Terence Seah
I love maids.
I too love maids especially milkmaids who served condensed milk. Can u remember them?
I love maids too. Maid 2 to be exact.
But maids do have/give problems just like Master, Madam and Mother because they are all humans. Waiting anxiously for the day when a ROBOT can effectively take over. Till then, I think maids are important in many families.
Haha TS
Your dh are always pregnant. Mwahahaha…..
Terence
I don’t think Sg or HK will ban dh, ever. Who the fook will do the chores? Not everyone is fine with not having a dh even if the children are grown and there are no elderly parents.
Read somewhere donkey years ago in Sg where teenagers can do without certain things but not without a dh. Go figure. How sad.
Hi Ros
Yep, I get annoyed, too, when things are not in their proper place despite repeating a gazillion times.
I can imagine your ‘At last…..’, no more unnecessary stress.
Dilemma of a typical/sandwich generation/working middle mgt female:
when i go home, the children do not listen to me/ignore me because of their school work/friends; my dh “answer back” at me; my parents/in-laws complains to/about me; my husband engrossed in his own world/work; only my dog welcomes me. At work, my boss appreciates my work/pays me; my subordinates listen/obey me; my colleagues share my jokes/work/goes lunch/drinks with me.. Sigh..
All responses so far are not anti-maids.
Without maids, we wont have maids levy, no maids falling off the windows, no pregnancy issues no insurance, no need to install house cameras, no worries about our beds being used, no worries about day-offs, no worry about find another bed for another person, no worry about unwanted guests in the house, no worry about extra food costs, no worry about the kids being abused, or worry about the husband being accused of molesting.
Without maids, families can save around $1,000 each month. We get up early each day. The husband gets to share in the housework.
Can Singapore ban maids? What is it that works in other countries but not in Singapore?
Terence Seah
Alamak!!
If we ban maids than I have to employ other foreign talent… like some Thais to do all the chores and household duties. But I have to start a company and employ them as foreign labour or cleaners… pay the necessary levy, etc. Maybe by then SHC can start a maid service venture to do the cleaning, cooking and whatever.
I think that Singaporeans are too used to maids to do away with them. Costs are still affordable and we really are dependent on them whether to take care of the house, children or aged parents.
I guess, like Tian Soo says, we love our maids!
Can Singapore ban maids? Definitely not! Don’t know about other countries but I am sure the decision makers here employ maids too. For a mere fraction of their monthly salary, they have hired (all rolled into one) a chambermaid, a house keeper, a toilet cleaner, a car washer, a cook, a laundry- service-lady, a security guard, a care-taker, a baby-sitter, a porter, an odd job labourer, a…..the list goes on. By and large, I think most of the maids can and will do whatever jobs assigned. Anybody who can afford and can calculate knows it is value for money, as far as hiring is concerned. Of course there is the ill side which often results in friction/conflict. But human relationship problems happen everywhere. In other situations, one can simply walk away but sadly, not with the maids, hence the ugly degeneration. For the benefits listed, I say, “Live and let live”. For the record, there are cases where the “ban” was actually invoked – banning employers from hiring maids.
Hi everyone! The last I heard is that the minimum wage for foreign maids is S$400! Add in the levy, the additional costs of feeding the maid, providing her with medical care from our own pocket, paying for her toiletries (otherwise she’ll happily use ours) and buying her clothes as hers will most probably look like rags. The grand total will be more than S$1200 per month and heaven helps us if she is a ‘yao kwee’…:(
If there is a lot of cleaning, ironing or other household chores to do, there is always the part-time cleaning services available. Other than that, it isn’t that tedious to get every member of the family to wash their own dishes after meals, clean their own rooms and help out here and there.
Cheers
Ros
#9 Geraldine Ting,
Hey! Hello! Long time no see your posts in SHC!
Where have you been, lang luey? Hope to see more of your musings here.
Hugs
O.C. …:p
I have been extremely blessed with two wonderful Sri Lankan assistants who had helped me care of my mother and subsequently my father, before my parents passed on in 1999 and 2006 respectively. I would never place my parents in a nursing home, never. It would be traumatic for them to face strangers in a unfamiliar environment. Their home is where they want to be and they were happy till the end of their days.
My first assistant had served us for 10 years, before she left to get married. The second took care of my father and has worked for me for over 8 years and still working. After my father had passed on, I would have no need for an assistant but she has already become part of the family – a much loved member of the family. She was invited to stay on, as long as I am still working. She is now my personal assistant, my confidante, my friend, caring for my home and my meals. In her spare time, she has learnt to work the computer, learnt Microsoft Word, Excel, Powerpoint and learned to send emails to her family back home. She took up and improved on her English, now being able to read and write in good English. This would prepare her for a good job back home when I retire.
My two assistants were heaven-sent, without whom I would be at a lost as to how to bring home the bacon and still care for my elderly parents.
Warm regards, winnie
Without the help of my two Assistants from Sri Lanka, I would not have been able to bring home the bacon. They were of great help to a single career lady.
Indeed, you are lucky to have had engaged the services of two great assistants. Similarly, I am sure they feel grateful to have met a good employer like you. Thank you, Winnie, for the heartfelt narration. Once a while, it is comforting to read about a person treating another, who is less endowed, with dignity and respect. ????? (there is warmth). I believe it does not matter who your helper is or where she comes from. You will treat her nicely nonetheless. Kindness is an inherent and intrinsic virtue, and in most situations, kindness begets kindness.
Back to the topic. Banning maids will result in hundreds of thousands of women going jobless, some of whom desperately needing the money to send home. A few isolated cases of bad behaviour/relationship is not reason enough to shut down this much-needed service industry. However, if shutting down one industry is for the growth of another, in this case child care or old age home, then it is another comparison – another consideration.
Life is miserable when one is tied down by tedious, menial household chores, care-giving..etc
Here comes the MAID to the rescue…she takes away the drudgery and lightens my burden…
Hence my opinion on whether we can do without maids:
Maids are not indispensable but it is the good maid’s efforts that make life easier/better for her harassed employer.
2-ct’s worth
Hi Ros
Hugs back!!
Thank you to all contributors to this “Can Singapore live without maids?”.
Almost everybody feel that maids are a necessity in Singapore, for all reasons. I give up. I somehow see that it is financially more cost effective to have a maid than to do the chores and duties ourselves.
Now, have you ever lived or worked in Japan, Western Europe, US and Australia? How can they not have maids? What makes them different from Singapore households? I am sure we are just as developed a country as the mentioned countries.
Terence Seah
NO Terence, I don’t agree when you say “we are just as developed a country as the mentioned countries”. Apart from the $$$ which is translated to GDP, I don’t see how “developed” a country we are. Politically, socially, culturally and if I may add, spiritually – are we anywhere near them? $$$ is the means and the ends here. The average households need to go all out to make ends meet, as well as to save for future “family security”. Hence the maid is important.
Hi DanielC #12,
Actually, I am learning how we, Singaporeans, would respond if the country bans maids. I am not in Singapore most of the time, so the feedback is important. I was thinking that if we have no access to maids, then perhaps, there will be more jobs for seniors in Singapore. We would have more local nursing care staff, more local home services and more developed working hours for mothers.
But, then, the feedback shows members feel the maid is a necessity. Maids are even more cost-effective, compared to we doing all the tasks ourselves. Even, if they were to cost $1000 to $1200 per month.
I like your reasoning because it gives me the perception that lesser developed countries tend to rely on maids. Maids make our lives easier. Maids provide us the opportunity to earn more money with the same time spent, if we were to do all chores and duties ourselves.
In time to come, if we become more developed, it may mean we don’t need maids, they become too expensive.
How did we land up in a situation where maids are a necessity?
Terence Seah
Hahaha!!
Terence, you are barking up the wrong tree!
Maids or their equivalent exist in almost every country in the world. Previously, depending in what country or century you are talking about, there is such a thing as slavery or servitude. Governments practised it, and kings and rulers, too. Subsequently, rich merchants, landowners and those of the upper class had their own retinue of servants.
Our maids are no different; except they are living in a different time and place. They are employed but they can also be subject to hard-driving employers or to kinder ones, they can be abused or brutally treated as can be seen in recent court cases.
So, there is no unique quality or situation in Singapore regarding maids. Maids exist in all the ASEAN countries, the Arab republics, Hong Kong and China and, I’m sure, in many western nations.
Let’s just hope that they are well-treated and get the respect they deserve for their sacrifice in leaving family and home to work in a foreign land.
Winnie Tan @ #16-
Thank you for sharing your happy experience regarding your Sri Lankan assistants.
My experience with Indon domestic helper (DH) was generally pleasant, but the last one stole from my aged mother. And the previous Indon DH got pregnant. Both were sent home before their contracts ended.
I’d like to know more about Sri Lankan DH, such as which agency did you go to? Was the language barrier manageable?
Please let me have your email address. Or – you can email me at jacqhan@gmail.com. Thanks a lot, Winnie.
Hi Jacqueline
You were unfortunate to have such unpleasant experiences with your Indon maids; I have had two Philippinas who were a general headache and one who possibly was dishonest. I have personally seen an Indon dh with a thoroughly dishonest, thieving nature.
What I want to say is that you may come across one who is bad but fortunately there is still a majority who are honest and hard-working.
I also have experience with a Sri Lankan dh but must admit that their culture and food choices do not blend well with ours. Maybe you could also look at Myanmar maids; my neighbour has a couple for many years now.
Greetings to all,
Most Sri Lankan DHs are English speaking. There was no language problem. However, I observed some Singaporeans are uncomfortable with them for some reason. They are loyal, quiet, subservient, hardworking and can learn to adapt to our culture and way of of life.
My neighbour’s SL DH has worked for them for 25 years. She took care of their four babies, who are now young successful working adults.
Mine adapted to Chinese cooking like fish to water. Both are Buddists and
very religious. I guess I am fortunate.
Jacqueline #24, I will write to you separately.
Best wishes to all.
Winnie
Winnie Tan @#26
“They are loyal, quiet, subservient, hardworking and can learn to adapt to our culture and way of of life.”
Hi Winnie, thank you for your response. The above are exactly the attributes that I look for, in a DH.
I am not “uncomfortable” with SL DH. And am pleased to hear that you have good opinion of them.
So far, the agencies that I have visited, only offered DH from the usual sources such as Philippines and Indonesia, and Myanmar. I have yet to know of a SL agency. It would be helpful if you could email the detail to me, soon. The last few months without a DH, I had to “roll up my sleeves”, and do whatever it takes, to keep my home clean, and take care of my mother.
Winnie – I have not received your email. Please re-send. Here is my address again – jacqhan@gmail.com.
THANK YOU. Have a good weekend.
Kenneth Tan @#25
Kenneth – thanks for your suggestion on trying out a Myanmar DH. I did employ one. Unfortunately, she didn’t work out.
On hindsight, it was my mistake – I had picked her in a hurry. She has had change of employers four times within
one year. I was her fifth. My then pregnant Indon DH was sent home, and I was heading to Melbourne to stay for three months. I needed a replacement, real quick.
Sigh. I don’t wanna talk about this. Let’s just say that I have learned from my mistake, and will move forward from this experience.
Thanks again, for the suggestion.
All the best, Kenneth.
Hello Winnie and all SHCians,
I feel that I should similarly sing praises of my ex-SL DH who worked for us for almost 10 years. She chose to leave us because she had developed arthritis?rheumatism and was unable to climb stairs comfortably. She was seen by Doctors but the pain would not go away. Apparently, most of her friends complained of the same problem after they had been in S’pore for sometime.
I spent time training her from general house=work to cooking -chinese, malay, curries and baking too.She learned at my expense, of course she had wasted alot of my foods but I had expected it to happen and was willing to let her learn with mistakes. After 2 years, she took over command of the house and my family enjoyed the fruit of her labour. She would churn out different foods/dishes, could do the marketing and much, much more.She even had an old diary to record her credit/debit A/C of petty cash for marketing and incidentals.
We are still in contact. My family and my siblings’ families love her.It was a wonderful experience having her.
I haven;t had the same luck since her departure and now I am down to an irregular Part-timer.
Btw, I picked my DH from the “not English-speaking and never been out of her country before” file that was available in the Agency cos I wanted to train her from “O”.
DH can come from anywhere and can be great like Winnie’s and mine.In most instances, except for some, DH are out here to work and send their hard earned money home.
We do need the DH in S’pore, at least for the foreseable future until employees can leave work at 5pm.
We can’t compare our lifestyle with other developed countries’. I have lived in Aust and UK previously. Parents/employees leave work on time or they can choose to work flexi hours besides having the choice of childcare centres and senior citizen homecare services.
Can we? I think we have to”Tan koo koo” but.. it is coming!!
How many working adults in S;pore been able to leave work sharp at 5pm daily to fetch their children from childcare and then cook the family dinner too and what about the washing esp the children’s uniforms unless they each have 5 sets of uniform suits to last a week? A DH will be helpful.
See how much Kenneth and TS are enjoying their retirement years w/o worrying about cleaning house or cooking wholesome meals.Hahaha. Enjoy DH’s service while it is still affordable and easily available.
Good luck Jacqueline.Hope you find a suitable DH.
Geok Suan.
When I read the start of this interesting exchange, I also have a story to tell – a very spicy one, you wouldnt believe it until you see the photos. My ex-maid perhaps thought very little about her “naive” employer and was shocked about the reality and was sent home without a single note of protest. But like Jacqueline, I too didnt want to talk about it – yeah, it’s once bitten twice shy. Took me 25 years of experiences with maids(but some are good) before I had to instal cameras openly in my home now. I have given up being a trusting employer – well almost (I still am but trust a little less – can you blame me?)
My good friend gave up the idea of maid – some employers just cannot be a tough boss. And she has no reason to get a wilful maid – she’s overly kind to a fault. But there are individuals like her – we rely too much on “conscience” – that people will naturally be able to respond and reciprocate – you know “you good to me I good to you”. Ended up with her maid under the very eyes of my friend bringing in her boyfriend, both home drunk in the middle of the night! Can you beat that? Well, mine perhaps tops the rest, except she suay-suay kena caught!
Thank you everybody for contributing to this maids topic. I kind of come to a summary conclusion that maids are a necessity in Singapore’s society. And, unless the law changes to restrict or ban maids, most families will continue to look at maids as a desired way to a better life.
I close this topic which I raise, although you can still continue to add from time to time, with your opinion.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence!
Jux 1 last say,
“If you have a “good ” maid is a BLESSING!
if you have a “lousy” maid is a BLASTING!”
I’m done wifout a maid now that my aged parents are gone.
I’m still working thus I’ve a part-time maid once a wk is good enough for the cleaning of the house!