Death

Now that we are in the 7th Moon period when the dead is walking among us. I wander how they are. Perhaps they have their monthly meetings just like SHC or do they do it once a year and always on earth. Do they have a blog to decide where to meet? Who is their blog administrator?

Death is for sure. Unfortunately we do not know when, that is why we have a hard time planning for retirement. It will be so much easier for us to decide how much to spend each month if we know when we don’t need the money any more. Most of us end up living poor and dieing rich.

  • At which stage do you consider yourself dead?
  • When you heart stops beating?
  • When your brain stops processing signals?
  • When you cannot recognize you spouse and children?
  • When you defecate on yourself because you are not able to go to the loo? or
  • When you stop enjoying sex?

Modern medicine is able to give us longer life. But how many needles and tubes do they need to insert into you before you consider yourself dead? Are we living a longer life or just dieing a slower death?

Most of us do not fear death but are afraid of pain. When we are enjoying, the Teochews call it ‘Hor Si’ which literally means ‘good death’. Should we than concerntrate on how to have a good death rather than long life?

We are all over 45 years old, some of us may live over another 45 years but we WILL die. I think it is time to learn how to have a ‘Hor Si’. We should do it like planning another holiday. I always enjoy my holidays.

51 thoughts on “Death”

  1. Hi Tian Soo,
    Meant to Email you [ but don’t have your address ]re: New session of Yoga classes that have just started last week, still not too late to sign up, or have you gone to intermediate class? You disappeared after your M’cca trip.
    Thought commenting here is not too off the thread… after all, its about prolonging your life for another 45 years by taking up YOGA……Hopefully.
    See you at the next class………Jie

  2. Hi Jie

    I did attend classes(ask Alicia) after the Malacca trip, then played 3 days golf with some young guys in Batam. Return with back ack and cannot do Yoga. Will try this Wednesday or just go there to register if my back still hurts.

    I am dieing slowly

  4. Hi Tian Soo,

    I like yr topic very much esp:”It’ll be so much easier for us …. when we don’t need the money anymore.”

    It’s always on my mind to save or to spend after witnessing a few friends leaving this earth.
    However, there’re also many aged living up to ripe old age of 90*

    I wonder if anyone in SHC have the statistic of the death in the different age group?

    If only we know our time…

  5. Hi all,

    ….However, there’re also many aged living up to ripe old age of 90*

    No thanks at 90+, eyes are foggy almost blind,v.poor hearing and may not be able to walk or WORSE still become a vegetable.

    I rather have a Good QUALITY lIFE from now than to live till 90+.

    Ultimately, do I have a choice ?

    Fai Tik Sae than Cheong man foo kwai.

  6. Dying is a splendid thing. Just dun no wen as date is nvr fix otherwise we can inform n say “goodbye” 2 all our frenz.

    Here are my death wishes must hv list –

    1) 3 desktops n 1 laptop fully loaded wif softwares
    2) 2 handphones
    3) 2 X All-In-One Printers
    4) 1 set of tool
    5) Programming books
    Wif abv I can continue where I left. All abv r paper made ones of cos. Cant bring real ones there.
    6) Contact n address list of all my frenz
    Nid 2 contact them wen I hv nothing 2 do. Oso can pay them visit during 7th mth. Dun noe wat gifts 2 bring along. Hmmm…so much funs than b4. Rite?

  7. Having spent 6 days together during our recent Vietnam tour with you, Steven, Jassmine, and Kristin, I find that you are indeed profound in life’s philosophy.

    We have 3 choices given in our life journey. We have no choice of parents. We have no choice of death. But we are given a choice to choose our life partners and often we make poor choices.

    There is a difference between living and existing. It is not a wise choice to exist till 90 or 100 rather to live purposefully for 60 or 70 years.

    Life is a journey which has a process and outcome. The outcome may not be more satisfactory that the process itself. Fulfilment in life is doing something simple yet joyful. We do not live, eat and make money. We eat and make money to enjoy “life”. This is what life means and life is for. Though we have all other goods, enjoy life fully and learn in whatever state we are, therewith to be content.

  8. Hi Tian Soo,
    Here you are discussing about death again…the last one took place during our M’sian trip. Not many people have the guts and willing to talk about this topic.

    For me, I would rather exchange ten years of life for less pain and suffering before death; must look good in the coffin; Aad most importantly, to be able decide my own “Auspicious Day” – my death wish.

  9. Hi Tian Soo

    You wonder about life in the nether world. I can relate to that. Here’s a poem inspired by my regular visits to Mount Vernon for exercise last year. Enjoy.

    Surreal Encounter
    (copyright)

    Now I lay back, pleased;
    Relaxed, on the back seat,
    I went a-dreaming.
    Slam! A violent jerk! Silence. Void…

    where is this place I’m wondering.

    With shady paths and niches near,
    In blocks with green Chinese roofs,
    It looks familiar.
    I’m trying to remember…

    the last time I was here.

    (Hello, I recognise you.)
    From a niche the clear voice flows,
    Friendly and meek.
    (You used to come here
    For exercise three times a week.)

    [Who are you? I cannot see you]
    I ask with no fear.
    (I’m a soul. In the niche my ashes lie.)
    [Am I in the spirit world?]
    Close to tears I cry.

    (I don’t know.I’m not sure;
    Your body is still with you.
    You’re bleeding quite badly;
    Blood’s oozing from your wounds.}
    [I do feel faint and dizzy.

    There’s pain. Oh! I’ve fallen]
    Gasping, I struggle; Ascend! Ascend!
    “She’s coming to. It’s a miracle!”
    Brightness I sense; my eyes open…

    I’m in hospital.

    My folks I see surround me;
    Memories released, gently flow
    Ihat before were tightly furled.
    I know I have returned …

    From the nether world.

    (copyright)

  10. Hi Tian Soo

    Mike and myself have a good laugh, you talking of “hor si” or
    “boh hor si” during the 7th month festival.

    Death is inevitable. Unlike births which can be planned, there are no time tables or schedules for death. Every one’s death will be different,quick, slow, sudden or tragic…

    Yoga – If you back still hurts by Wednesday, just sms Mike or
    myself, can do the registration for you first. Rest,rest, do not practise yoga when your back pain.

    Cheer up, no dieing slowly lah.

    Alicia

  11. Life is a journey. There is a beginning , there is an end. When we come to the end , we start on another journey, perhaps a more wonderful journey. So, be not afraid.

  12. Charles, I like the way you put it. Sound like a pastor…ha..ha…

    Yew Kwong (#6)- you are so funny…. you made me LOL. Your wish list consists of all your favourite IT stuff which you can’t let go huh? Btw, you’ve forgotten to wish for wifi for the service provider…ha.ha.. Next time when you come & visit, no need to bring gift lah…just give 4 nbr via sms will do…ha.ha.

  13. Hi all,
    1) Life is Uncertain , DEATH is certain.

    When I saw my cancer stricken mother lands up as a “vegetable” at home, it pains my heart to see the suffering she has to go through. CANNOT walk,bang sai,eat,talk,just nod …on her own.

    If I will to land up as a vegetable, choy touch wood,
    touch wood, I hope by then Singapore would have implemented the new law which allows “MERCY KILLING” for veggies
    by permitting the doctor to inject a lethal dose of cyanide to them. “Good bye.” than to see them enduring the PAIN & MISERY for years.

    2) For those who missed PAPAYA,881, here is a re-run in the cinemas this week.A moving story that made you shed tears at the end for a sister to “cling” on to her DYING sister who has cancer and chemotherapy treatment.

  14. Hi all,

    I am also V. PANTANG. ]

    I try to avoid all the funerals of strangers in the void decks of HDB flats. Chinese Custom say it brings BAD luck.

    Tio boh?

    Ghost Festival is abt to begin 08.08.08 but auspicious date for Beijing Olympics.Talking abt. Chinese custom,
    what a contracdiction. Good or bad,it is up to men who decides.

    Don’t forget to buy TOTO $8 Million tickets today.
    Strike it and will you be on the road to ” HOR SI” GOOD DEATH! and you can sponsor fully the next SHC Dinner and Dance at the Shangri la Hotel. No problem.

  15. Hi Cheng Pun,

    ……We have 3 choices given in our life journey. We have no choice of parents. We have no choice of death. But we are given a choice to choose our life partners and often we make poor choices.

    Your thoughts are V. WISE.

    Tian Soo, pls. delete the comment 14, repeated.

  17. Hi Steven

    I dun agree wif ur conclusion of 3rd choice. A number of factors contribute 2 unhappy endings. Understanding, tolerant, caring, mutual trust n last but not least, lots of real love.

  18. Hi Yew kwong,

    …..I dun agree wif ur conclusion of 3rd choice. A number of factors contribute 2 unhappy endings. Understanding, tolerant, caring, mutual trust n last but not least, lots of real love.

    That 3rd. choice was NOT mentioned by me.
    The comments are made by Cheng Pun. see comment

    …But we are given a choice to choose our life partners and often we make poor choices.

    And so OPEN WIDE your eyes before marriage and HALF CLOSED afterwards.

  19. Hi Steven

    There are ppl who open wide their eyes b4 n fully closed aft marriage. Be it open wide or close tight they make no difference.

    Both must communicated on same frequency n wave length. Best oso 2 clear all doubts b4 one doubt. Explore n conquer but not conquer n xplore. If love matters dun wk out, withdrawing oneself fr the game is best choice.

  20. Hi All

    Even I find it very eerie to talk about “death” during this time of the month but I cant help myself to sign in to read what the other had said.

    Well, no one has a choice on “death” so , don worry for nothing but enjoy life to the fullest.

    Charles Wee , u sound like the pastor in my church (haha).

    Karen

  21. Hi Catherine Ho

    Someone else may have more correct statistics. I think on average women dies at about 84 and man kick the bucket at around 74. That is why we have more female members in SHC.

    This is when our brain and heart stop functioning. We should also consider the years when we are oblivious to our surroundings. When we don’t recognize anyone and don’t care whether we have eaten and cannot count our money. Do we still need to have monthly living allowance?

    Our love ones will want to keep us alive but it will only be to satisfy their social honour and guilt. We will only know the pain from our decaying body.

    Have a good day????

  22. Hello Yew Kwong,

    You have missed out a foldable / mountain bike in your death wishes list. I am sure cycling is also your passion. Then hor…you can join us cycling during the 7th month mah, but for sure I won’t be joining you for the overnight cycling lor…ha…ha..ha…

    Ivy…this is not a wedding, it is impossible to decide your own “Auspicious Day” as your death wish lah.

    Charles….”Life is a journey. There is a beginning , there is an end”. So what are you waiting for, enjoy life NOW and DO what you what you wanted to do all these years. Like what Stevan said: Life is Uncertain , DEATH is certain. Sounds quite scary leh…

    As for now, one thing I am very certain is….I am going to buy a pair of Tennis Shoe and a good racket for my Tennis game….he..he..he :)

    Ah Nee

  23. Hi Ah Nee.

    1) …Like what Steven said:
    Life is Uncertain , DEATH is certain.
    Sounds quite scary leh… but do you have a choice?

    Ah nee, …..It is an universal truth , NOT my famous wise saying, but it is from the Buddha’s mouth.

  25. Ah Nee

    U better knock your head against the wall then talking to Ykwong with all the nonsense of computer/bike & chauffeur in Hell / Heaven depending on how good he is on earth .

    (hahaha)

    Karen

  28. Unless I am evicted earlier, I have signed a lease for 8 years from 2008. It’s easy to go voluntarily and if you dont wish the world to look at it as a planned move, go for a picnic. Takwe with yiu a copy of Playboy,l a pair of binos, sun-tan lotion. The at high tide swim out, out and out and out…………………

    The Chinese scholars hv told us that death can be as liht as angmor (qin ru hong mau) or haevy like tarzan (zong ru tai san) so if anyone thinks he’c becoming more an angmoh and less a tarza, one shd consider thw swim sojourn……….so who’s organising the next swim clas/ Dan-H, forget abt calling for more dancings, start some swimnming classes lah…………..

  29. Hello Tian Soo & All SHCian

    Death is for the dead.
    LIFE is for the LIVING.
    Enjoy life to the fullest while you can.
    Never take life for granted-appreciate
    the fresh air & see the beauty around us, & give
    thanks for each day we are able to do so.
    Be positive & happy in life.
    If you are thrown lemons in life, heck,
    make lots of lemonade and invite everyone for
    a drinking session and party.
    Cheers! :)

  31. Ah Nee

    Ykwong always need a reading glasses with him wherever he go la…. buy the more modern and trendy style with multi-coasted … it will last longer (haha)

    With computers/laptop & books and no reading glasses , he cant do anything la. (haha)

    Wow , everyone has something to remind u ….

    That is what fren are for .
    karen

  33. Ykwong

    ABove there or The Netherland or Hell or Heaven….

    No lasik yet la, that why so far , they just start making the credit card and LV bag and start burning “up There” .

    Is better to play safe to bring one along or u will not be able to read or conduct your IT courses up there (haha)

    Karen

  34. Oh Yah, Karen & Suzhang, must remind Yew Kwong to add on to his wish list a few Yellow Ts also, thats his favourite colour(best is the dry-fit wan). I think YK is well equip now, with all his gears, he is ready to go…ha..ha..ha….I can’t stop laughing….

    Ah Nee

  35. SCARY topic in a sacred month. I believe this post has broken the record with the biggest number of response within a given time.

    “Live life to the fullest”. This statement is, at best, a paradox. These are some of the definitions from people I have had talked with : EAT the richest delicacies in the world never mind the price. AMASS as much wealth as you can, never mind the means. WORK, work and work (assuming you love your job) until you collapse. EXERCISE and keep fit everyday so that you can continue running and keeping fit. TRAVEL to every corner of the world before it is too late. What else ?

  36. Hi Steven C,

    I agree wif U that we’d “no choice of parents” & “we often make poor choices for life partners.”
    However, do look at the brighter side of your life. At least, you’d experience the love of yr mum and U had done yr best for her.

    Unlike you, I was given away when I was a baby. I ended up in the care of a domineering auntie whom I call “mum”.
    I never experienced a real mother’s love at all! Yet, I’d to take care of her till her death!

    Do not lament on our past. We must be thankful if we have a healthy body to enjoy life to the fullest.Whether or not we have a companion or not is secondary thing to me.
    Hope U don’t mind my 2 cts worth.

  37. Hi Steven C,

    Yes, we all, “rather have a Good Quality Life from now than to live till 90*, but do we’ve a choice?

    When U reached 80* (like my dad) you’ll still want to carry on till as long as “He” permits you. I would be happy if I could live till 70*. (More than Tim, eveready
    battery)

    By the way, on 31stAug would be the 8th month, so don’t be so “pantang” for the Mid Autumn Free Gang Bang 12 Sept & frightened off everybody at the bungalow. Ha..ha..
    Cheers!

  38. Constance Wong.

    I like your outlook on life, at #30.

    To all the others, adopt Constance’s attitude.

    “Life is for the living”.

    Live within your means if you don’t have much. If you are concerned about whether your money will last out, then do something about it, get a job or whatever. Besides giving you money, it will probably keep your mind busy and away from brooding about death.

    We can’t do anything about our life span. We can only hope (and exercise and eat right, hee, hee) and pray that if we live a long life, then it is a happy and active one. So SHCians, SMILE and live life!! That’s what we are all here at SHC for isn’t it? :-)

  39. Hi Tian Soo,#21,

    I know from the visits @ a few aged homes. Out of 120 residents, only a handful are males and the rest are females!

    The irony is my mum had passed away @ 83yrs (last yr) & my dad is still surviving @ 84 yrs old, tho a bit senile.
    But if U look at the obituary pgs quite a nos of 50* also passed away!
    Scary rite?

  40. We all live to die. Endeavour the most out of this life,
    for the present is all that we have and the present
    should be cared for.
    Death is inevitable and life is only temporary, if we cant
    bring cheers to other peoples’ life, let’s not make theirs miserable and painful.

  41. Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room, talking about life… In-between, we talked about the idea of dying well.

    I said to her:

    ‘Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I’d much rather die’.

    Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me…and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!

    ….I ALMOST DIED!!!

  42. Hi Yew Kwong,

    So you don’t need me to help you deliver computers anymore? Have noted that your Rolls Royce comes with a driver as well! As for the handphone, must insist on the latest Apple I Phone! Haha.

  43. Hi Tian Soo #41,

    Oh, throw away the beer, the phone and everything else. I once broached this subject with my wife and 9 year old son, and they told me “don’t talk rubbish”.

    My son encouraged me to live for another 20 years. He saw the next generation aeroplane which looks like a whale. And he wants me to sit inside while he pilots it. That’s encouragement.

    Yes, we have to face death sooner or later. I guess we have to manage with all the pain first before we die.

    Terence Seah

  45. Hey Tian Soo,
    I applaud your wife’s quick attitude, action and no-nonsense comeback. No words need to be spoken.
    Minus all the contraptions, you didn’t die did you??? But have more time for her……hopefully.
    Enjoy yourself, its later than you think. Hold her hands and enjoy country living under the stars. You’ve still got it made………..Jie

  46. In 7th month, some Don’t n Do –

    1) Don’t visit shooting ranges or live firing area. Bullets stray everywhere.

    2) Don’t swim xcept dry swim. The water is deeper than deep wif wat lies below.

    3) Don’t take photos in the dark. Images may get ‘touch up’ beta than using Photoshop.

    4) Do carry a small torchlight wif u always. If u do meet ‘them’, take out ur torchlight, put it under ur chin n shine. ‘They’ wun disturb as they think u r their comrades.

    5) Do sit nx 2 the bus driver if u r the one n only passenger taking the last bus ride home. Tis ensures tat the bus is not driverless at some pt along the route.

  47. The word of “DEATH” is a simple word with five alphabets & this word mean the end of the path way to all humans & event animals, so just live happily & stay healthy to achieve our livelihood in the rest of our life.

    Cheers!

    Judy

  48. sorry…was curious abt this post, scrolled thro quickly as not possible to read all 47 comments in detail….and I noted one thing…hey, Jassmine can ride poetry eh!!!! firt one was the “stone” and now this one…

    Jassmine, can ride one for me to read out for 52 people to enjoy on 30 Aug?..:-)

  49. Hi all,

    Have you seen the movie ” Money NOT enough Part 2.

    There is 1 part on Death. It is v.emotional but a true reflection of some Singaporean way of life.

    The aged , poor and senile mother was “shuttled” like a pile of rubbish to and fro from one son’s home to another. And in the end she was placed unvoluntarily in an Old Folks home because none of the sons would like to assume full reponsibility of their mother.

    She collapsed from a heart attack at the doorstep of the aged home and in coma and finally died.

    Very moving indeed. Recommended ****

  50. Steven @ #49

    “The aged , poor and senile mother was “shuttled” like a pile of rubbish to and fro from one son’s home to another. And in the end she was placed unvoluntarily in an Old Folks home because none of the sons would like to assume full reponsibility of their mother. She collapsed from a heart attack at the doorstep of the aged home and in coma and finally died.”

    Go backward in time 30 years and that could be looking at ourselves today. The decisions that we make now will decide our journey’s end.

    The unkind truth. If you are not an asset to the family, then you are a liability. Then you may soon outlive your welcome.

    If we don’t act positively to make ourselves financially and socially independent, we may not even have a doorstep to end our days. This is why I applaud those who are helping SHC in its mission of mercy.

  51. a doctor fren told me dat a person is *clinically* dead if the brain stops functioning , n dat usually happens after the brain is starved of oxygen for 4mins. so in dis sense we r always only 4mins away fr death.

    anyone who does not wish to remain *veggie* 4 a long time, which drains both financial n emotional banks can go to a private/poly clinic to sign an ADVANCED MEDICAL DIRECTIVE(AMD) in which you can state how long u wan to b on life support b4 dey r turned off. an AMD also protects your loved ones from having to make the very difficult decision to turn the machines off

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