Most of us have adult children, and a few nieces and nephews. For some, they have probably finished their formal education and are already at work, beginning a life of their own. This morning, I read an article that the Sngapore marriage rate has dropped to a record low. Forget about the statistics.
Shall we do a little bit for our children, nieces and nephews? A relationship between a girl and a boy is one of the sweetest links in life. The feeling of holding hands together and hugging one another. It is such a nice feeling for a couple to look into the eyes of one another. This is romance. Of course, there is a lot more to marriage; but romance is just the start.
Many of us have been married, some more than once. That includes me. We have children, and we want to see them live a life of their own. A little bit of effort on our part?
Shall we do something for our children? Think about them.
Terence Seah
Shall we do a part or an event for our adult children, nieces and nephews? I am prepared to have an activity that will bring our children together and add an air of romance.
Specially for young adults, unattached, eager to give life a go and willing to see what romance is all about. Strictly for families of SHCians only.
Terence Seah
Imagine this…………..
Tua Liap Nee signs up as a SHCian and takes her daughter to this children’s interaction event.
Terence takes his son there too.
The children have whale of a time for a lively intercourse. They continue their friendship which naturally blossoms into a romance.
Then they cajole their parents to take them on a holiday.
At nite, they check into 2 rooms. It’s a no brainer to ask who sleeps with who to further the intercourse.
One year later, Spore’s population is upped by 8 – each couple have quadruplets. Tho ranked differebtly in this happy big family – uncles/aunties vs nieces/nephews = they are of the same age and will play and grow up together. Further intercourses btwn them cannot be ruled out.
Extrapolating from this scenario, our census people will all jump in joy, delighted by a new generation of mirthful people.
Viva la More !
And yes, thank you SHC for doing a national service thus solving a national problem which needs no panadol but lots of pantings lor……..
I think that one of the weakness with agencies helping young people to come together is there is too much use of statistics to pressure young people. Of course, the conditions for getting married may not be ideal or right. Too many reasons are given, and unfortunately, the country tends to believe that money is a solution, so they give money to help with child bearing.
I am a firm believer of romance. I believe in love at first sight. I also believe in opportunities. Therefore, if we do organise an event for our young children, nieces and nephews, the theme will be something like “Romance”.
As parents, we can only provide the opportunity.
Terence Seah
Terence,
I’m all for it. I will try to get my daughter to participate, that is, if I can convince her , hee hee. Likewise for my nieces and nephews.
I’ve always wanted to be a matchmaker, but it’s not easy convincing them to participate.
What kind of activities do you think will interest them?
A picnic? Tea dance? BBQ? A Walk? A Boat ride?
Hi Mary,
Thank you for being supportive of the idea.
The event will center around the theme “Romance”. It is based on the concept of “Love at first sight”. Give me a while, and I shall release the details soon.
Let me first get a feel who are the SHCians who are interested to bring together their children, nieces and nephews.
Terence Seah
Mmm, I support Mary Chan’s idea of ‘A Boat Ride’!
Remember the show ‘LOVE BOAT’?
I just did my Encore lll performance ‘The Wedding’ on a cruise ship.
Maybe we can put up our next show based on this theme.
Why begin romance on a love boat?
Young adults are shy, so…if invited on a boat ride, they have no chance ‘to leave’ for another appointment being confined on board for a few hours. Thus mixing around is the only way out of boredom, heh heh.
We can hire a yacht and have a party for the young & young at hearts!
What say you, Terence?
Just being kaypo –
pearl.
Hi Pearl, MaryC,
A boat cruise is a wonderful idea. Let’s explore this as one possibility.
Meantime, tell us about this wedding performance and the boat you performed on.
Terence Seah
Hi Terence,
Glad you like the idea, thank you.
Any SHC member owned a yatch?
Well, mine was a stage performance by 40+ of us from Theatre for Seniors,
so the cruise ship was just ‘make-believe’.
The Synopsis of “The Wedding’ is –
The elderly couple were inmates of an old folks home ‘ Home of Hope for the Aged’. They met everyday around the ‘home’ and eventually fell in love.
Then they decided to get married and The Wedding was celebrated onboard the cruise ship. Hence the big party!
The performance was of cos very party style.
All the other inmates, their families n frens were there to join in the big celebration. There were songs & dances – the whole scenario..fun & gay!
I’m also thinking of having regular performances of different themes for our SHC members – something like a small scale ‘Neptune Theatre’.
Perhaps in a more ‘afternoon tea-party’ style.
pearl.
“Any SHC member owned a yatch?”
I did.
It was a yard measuring some 2 ha where liberated hens and abandoned women were free to hatch their young ones? Terrorists buried their hatchets there and helped the females to bathe their chicks and babies. It was Green Meadows remake.
Yes, you said “owned”. I dont own it any more. There was a relic bomb found under and I gave the yard back to the jtc.
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Ooops…sorry, …my typo mistake…YACHT…my apologies!!!
@3 I agree with Terence statement : “I am a firm believer of romance. I believe in love at first sight. I also believe in opportunities.”
I love the theme for this topic that Terence suggested, “Romance” –it is the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mysterically associated with love,it implies an expression of one’s love & deep emotinal desires to connect with that person/someone which leads to relationship & romance, that will include love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation and affinity eventually marriage
I also like the idea of Mary @4, “A Boat Ride”
Cheers!
Hi Terence
I really like your write-up above. So sweet and romantic! However, it is indeed a fairytale kind of love, and of course, as you’ve said romance is just the start. (Ooh la la – reminiscing the good old days!..). I remember those fairytale romance stories by Barbara Cartland and other authors which we use to read during our teenage years. It always ends like this “They got married and lived happily ever after”.
I would like to add some ‘realistic’ comments by a marriage expert, Gary Chapman. In his book “The Five Love Languages” he said that at its peak, the ‘in love’ experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep thinking of one another. When we rise, that person is the first thought on our minds. We long to be together. Spending time together is like playing in the anteroom of heaven. When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go to school or work. Embracing stimulates dreams of marriage and ectasy. The person who is ‘in love’ has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. His mother can see the flaws but he can’t (True or False? Doesn’t it sound familiar?)
Unfortunately, the eternality of the ‘in love’ experience is fiction, not fact. According to a psychologist, Dr Dorothy Tennov, after studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years!!. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened and we see the ‘warts’ of the other person. We recognise that some of his/her personality traits are actually irritating. Her behaviour patterns are annoying. Then, intimate lovers can become enemies and marriage a battlefield.
I’m not trrying to be a wet blanket to anyone who is experiencing this ‘in love’ euphoric stage…… by all means, enjoy; for there is also a saying “It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all”.
As we all know, Elizabeth Taylor married 7 times but did she find ‘The One’.
JUST MY 1 CENT WORTH. NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE PLEASE.
Warmest regards,
Gabriella
“The feeling of holding hands together and hugging one another…….is such a nice feeling…..Many of us have been married, some more than once. That includes me…………I believe in love at first sight.”
So said Terence.
This holding hands feeling is nice, sometimes too nice. Have you not experienced a finger tickling you in the middle of your palm when you hold that hand so tenderly?
Astounded, petrified, you let go. Scoot off. Try to figure out the whys and what the hells. A tickle usually makes another laugh but the price of a tickle can also be very high. A tickle in the armpit is romantic but elsewhere might trigger one into a rheumatic spasm.
You live happily ever after in the 2nd marriage. I beat you hands down.
Twice divorced, I now live happily, never suffer.
You believe in love at first sight. Somewhat true. But more true if you say “love the backsight”, Yes, there’s enormous satisfaction sighting backsides.
Psychologists are agreed that when young, you look at the face to find beauty. Older, you look lower, at the bosoms.
Then, when you are a silverhair, the ultimate beauty is round the backside, in the backside.
Gabriella-C has put before my eyes what rommnce is, and I think her analysis is very correct.
Freshly in love, in the act of romancing, one is so besotted with the other that whatever the other did was excusable.
So when he spills food piled higher than the Duxton flats on the way back from the buffet table, you say he’s new to some acrobatic balancing act he was pursuing as a hobby.
Romance can mean ‘Road Menace”. One can be driven crazy. One can get into accidents and maimed. And the car can also be stolen. Insurance will only pay for another car; not the same car.
But if one day someones bravely steps up and says “I love you, please let me try”. I will. Otherwise, i shall continue to live happily ever after, status quo.
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Hi Gabriella
You are not a wet blanket at all. Absolutely not and your 1-cent worth is more than that. Make it a dollar! Thanks for sharing.
It’s so true what the expert/psychologist said and from our own life experience/s.
Sure, it’s a nice, sweet feeling when one is in love; our eyes sparkle, skin glows, bursting with happiness.
After a bit, depending on circumstances etc, the smoke in our eyes clears and yes, my favourite: ‘What the fook was I thinking?’
Of course there are forever and ever couples settled in a comfortable companionship or they simply make peace with their unhappy situation until death do they part.
I would think, Terence, that young people stay away from serious relationship or avoid marriage all together because they are smart enough to know what they DON’T want.
Hi Geraldine #15
Wow-wee, we have arrived! This topic is getting hot.
I would like to further quote from Gary Chapman that “the ‘in love’ experience was but an illusion by which we were ‘tricked’ into signing our names on the dotted line, for better or for worse. No wonder so many have come to curse marriage and the partner whom they once loved.” (True or False?)
Another study concludes that the falling-in-love experience is not real love for three reasons.
First, falling in love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. No matter how much we may want to fall in love, we cannot make it happen. On the other hand, we may not be seeking the experience when it overtakes us. Often, we fall in love at inopportune times and with unlikely people.
Second, falling in love is not real love because it is effortless. Whatever we do in the in-love state requires little discipline or conscious effort on our part. Example, the long and expensive phone calls we make, the $ and time we spend to see each other, the gifts we give etc. The instinctual nature of the in-love experience pushes us to do outlandish and unnatural things for each other.
Thirdly, one who is ‘in love’ is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth. We have found the ideal one!
However, from life’s experiences, we know this to be untrue. Once the in-love experience is over, trying to live with another person may be entirely different. As the saying goes: “You don’t know a person until you live with him or her!”
Reason for the high divorce rates could be that once the euphoric stage is over (mind you, generally in TWO years!), we may jump ship and try again. But will the cycle repeat itself? Euphoria – down from the clouds – destined to a life of misery if unable to live with your spouse (whom you thought was The One) or jump ship & try again.
According to our marriage expert, 40% of first marriages end in divorce. 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages end the same way. Apparently, the prospect of a happier marriage the second or third time round is not substantial.
My conclusion:
MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN TWO IMPERFECT PEOPLE AND WE HAVE TO LIVE AND LET LIVE! (True or False?). MARRIAGE CAN MEAN LOTS OF SACRIFICES FOR THE OTHER PARTY. BUT THEN AGAIN, IS THERE TRUE LOVE IF THERE’S NO PAIN?
As parents, we know how much we are willing to sacrifice for our children because we TRUELY LOVE them.
hahaha……..(think carefully before signing on the dotted line!)
NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE…. nothing personal (just a general reflection).
Warmest regards,
Gabriella
So, Terence, in love, inebriated in romance, she’s a “wonder being” (?????
Then 2 years into the marriage, she looks like “wanton mee” (????, oily and messy. There’s more on a chicken backside to look at and admire than her naggy face.
Haha, Richard-K and Jane will gonna kick me on the butt.
Of cos there is love that blossoms into companionship, a kind of camaraderie that one cant find a parallel or comparison. Not even with that btwn Devan-N and Lee.
Gabriella
You must have heard the joke that says there are 3 Rings involved in marriage. Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Enduring. Unfortunately the Enduring part last the longest and some people cannot take it. I don’t think there is a solution to this problem.
But the problem of young people not getting married, in my opinion can be solved, but not be matchmakers.
In countries where the virtue of sex for married people only, are taken seriously, you will find little problem with young people not wanting to get married. When we are richer and consider ourselves liberated and can have sex whenever and with whoever we like, the need for marriage becomes not important. Often we also mix up LUST with LOVE.
So if we want our young people to commit to marriage we have to stop them from having pre-marital sex. How to do that, is another story.
Fortunately, for Silverhair people, post-marital sex is not a problem because we have done our marriage duties, some more than once, so we deserve some real ‘Love’.
Dear Tian Soo, Gabriella, Geraldine, Tim, Nancy, Mary and Pearl, and to all SHCians with very strong feelings about love, romance and marriage,
Over the last 5-6 years, I have met and got to know many SHCians. Some I got to know better, some I am still understanding and some I am happy for.
I am unable to describe how I feel with the responses to this Post. I hope I can express my objective in a song. It’s located on the left column of the SHC website. Do take a few minutes.
Terence Seah
Another song to add to Terence’s… a nice melodious song. No need to understand the language, pure and simple love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbGhHb5R46Q&feature=player_embedded#t=0s
Terence
You are an incorrigible romantic.
The problem I find with romantic people is that to them normally one is not enough.
I’m having a great time reading all the views here. Love, romance, living together, enduring each other’s flaws premarital sex, cynicism regarding love……
I’m still an ‘incorrigible romantic’ like Terence. I have seen and experienced enough, I believe, to know that there is no one answer or approach to love and marriage.
Some people are luckier than others, some are more tolerant, some have higher expectations than others, some make carpets of themselves but I think compatibility is the key word.
It’s somewhat like, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”.
Yes, people tend to mix up ‘love’ and ‘lust’. For people who think that ‘one is not enough’, it’s got nothing to do with being ‘romantic’. It’s pure ‘lust’.
With regard to ‘love’, there are so many different kinds of love.There is love between a man and a woman and there is love for one’s children,parents, siblings etc, which is commonly referred to as ‘affection’.
I would like to write more but someone is hovering over my shoulder, wanting to use this laptop, which isn’t mine. I’m now in Ireland and have been here for the past week and will be here until next Friday. So, to those people who have been calling me, my apologies for not returning your calls.
Well, the sun is out and the skies are blue! They are beckoning me to go out. Besides, I can smell the food on the BBQ…mmmmm. So, until I’ve had enough of the outdoors and the next time I can get my hands on the computer, byeee from Ireland.
Hi Gabriella #12 and #16
After reading your relatively lengthy comments on love romance, marriage and post-marriage life, I get your drift on trying to fathom these important facets in our life. You have quoted a number of so-called experts on love relationship. They seemed to paint a rather dismal picture.
I am afraid that they espouse only one view of their own which may not necessarily the ultimate truth. One said that first stage of love is euphoric and genrally will not last more than two years. This is true, because many live for that wonderful moment and are totally blind about the long term commitment and firmly believe in enjoying now for tommorrow will never come. But we all know that we live in an imperfect world and realty will eventually will catch up with us. If we analyse more deeply and see things under a “manifying glass”, then imperfections will definitely surface. The late Elizabeth Taylor married seven times trying to find the perfect partner. Did she succeed? For some people, they think she had lived life to the fullest.
But for many more mundane people they must have their two feet ploced firmly on the ground and explore other loves and interests which can be also highly rewarding. For example, one Hong Kong tycoon found great meaning in life by giving more than $1500 to each of his employees when his daughter-in-law gave birth to a grandson.
So let us try not to find that illusive True Love and pin it down for we may never find it.
The above comments are general reflections and no offences are intended.
Dear Terence
Of course I understand your objective for bringing people together, hoping for them to fall in love and again, hoping they’ll live happily ever after.
I am very romantic and like you, believe in romance. When I fall in love, I will look deeply in that dick’s eyes, love hand-holding (very sweet) and the lovemaking (if any, kekekekekee) will be reeli intense……….ahhh……..
My reflection/comment is not to ‘discourage’ potential lovers – please do fall in love; let me see your glowing skin and anything else that glows. You have Old Aunt G’s blessings.
p/s have seen that sweet, innocent song that you posted. I thought it’s for your mandarin hardcore and an inkling for the dress code. Keekee…..anyways, love this song and am thinking of learning this piece (if I can find the lyrics) for my own entertainment.
just a thought
Most of us are raised with a belief that we will find
“the one”, this special person with whom we will spend
eternity. “till death do us part” wow, very honourable and
beautiful and I used to believe it to the core. However in real life divorce rates in many countries are now in excess of 50% and about 85% the wife is the initiator
Men and women have different agendas when it comes to sex
and love.
By and large it is deeply embedded in our basic needs
the need to procreate, the resources, power, the fertility
status, commitment etc
Of course, after courting (with the above needs partially or wholly met) the couple gets married.
When a woman marries, she expects the continuity of sensitivity, sincerity. sharing (secrets, thoughts, finances, mostly everything) so that she could work closely with her partner to achieve a meaningful long term relationship in terms of child raising, holdidays, finances, anything and everything.By and large
her life pratically will evolve around her children and her life partner.
Men, on the other hand, have different expectations.
They too expect continuity of the above, fullfill their family obligations, to do well and good for his family.
Men do wish that women understands
(a) solitary time without interruption.
(b) The “nothing” room
(c) single task (they normally do not multi-task)
(d) ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are perfectly acceptable answers
Hmm very wordy.. better stop here
What I really want to share is the word
EMOTIONAL and physical
(a) intimacy
(b) connection
(c) ignorance
(d) support
(e) emotionally fragile
(f) emotionally self sufficient
and many others
To me, long term relationship is the combination of the above and others. I believe in the “the nothing room”, understand that they single task and the understanding of the emotional maelstrom.
I personally thought, if new couples generally understand or make a point to understand, or taught,
how each gender is wired emotionally and physically,
then perhaps there will be a change in numbers
on the statistic table.
Just my 2cents worth of thoughts.
Got to get ready for work.
Have a great week ahead
:D
Hi Robert #23
Don’t get me wrong: I also believe in romance and falling in love but what I’m trying to put across can be summed as follows:
Enter marriage with both eyes open, close one eye as you sign along the dotted line and eventually, close both eyes as you grow old together till death do us part. hahaha…
I’m into 3 decades of being marrried with two children in their twenties and has recently been promoted to ‘GM’: hehehee
I would like to recommend a book “The Love Dare” from the hit movie “Fireproof’ (NY Times Best Seller) as a must-read for those who are experiencing the ‘in-love’ stage…..
Good luck & God Bless to one and all,
Gabriella
Terence & All,
I remember a “dating game” that was played many years ago when I was a teenager. My JC form teacher was a wise old lady who taught us boys & girls something that we would not forget for the rest of our lives. Allow me to share the story with you…
One day, instead of her usual lesson, she asked the whole class to raise their hands if they hoped to eventually marry someone and settle down in future. Of course the whole class raised their hands, some eagerly others shyly.
She then told us to take out a blank sheet of paper and write down a list of attributes that our future life partner must absolutely possess. Smiling, we began to picture our future spouse and began scribbling down our list of desirable things.
My teacher smiled as she walked around while seeing what the boys & girls were writing on their lists ……
Must have Pretty face/body,
Must have Handsome face/body,
Must have Long hair/Short hair,
Must have Stable job/Rich/Wealthy
Must be Romantic/Down to earth,
Must be of Same religion
Must not be too religious
Must love me/Communicate with me
Must whisper Sweet things in my ear,
Must want One kid/Many kids/No kids,
Must spend time with me/Must give me my space,
Must have similar hobbies,
Must not be too fat/too thin
Must be Taller/Shorter than me,
Must provide/take care of me, etc
……as expected, some of our lists when on & on & on.
After everyone stopped scribbling furiously, my teacher then looked at us in a serious tone….
“Do you ever think you will be able to find someone with ALL of your list of things?”
A huge sigh of reality shot across the classroom and total silence followed. Were we doomed to failure before we even got started?
(to be continued…)
Hi Jonathan #27,
I note your teacher teaches boys and girls. But, at the time you did this exercise, were you in a boy;s school?
Terence Seah
good, this is what I want to do, Match maker.
count me in Terence, and tell me what I can help….
I have daughters and nieces to laylong lah.
Sigh….. all these statistics are so depressing.
To love or not to love? = To hurt or not to hurt?
Sometime, it’s better to hurt now than to hurt later.
Love comes with heartaches. For those who can find love a 2nd or 3rd time round, count your blessing however short the period may be. For the memory last forever even after it is over.
I have a 21 year old daughter but doubt very much she will be interested in this match making scheme. She’s already having a hard time fighting off unwanted attention.
Hi Terence #28,
We were students in a co-ed JC (junior college) at that time. Being a teenager @ 18 years old seems like a long, long time ago ;-(
Hi everyone,
I just felt an urge to share this with all who are married, contemplating one or on the verge of a Dxxx:
Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won’t. Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep “no record of wrongs”!
How do you know you’ve really forgiven? You will know when the thought of his/her name or the sight of his/her face – rather than causing your blood to boil – causes you to feel sorry for your beloved, to pity him/her and you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders!
Then, continue loving each other for the path of true love never lies straight. Haha!
Cheerssss & :-),
Gabriella
@19 Thank you Terence for sharing, nice song :P
Well, Gabriella, sometimes there is nothing to forgive when one is on the verge of a divorce. One simply has had enough of the unhappiness, the suffocation, the pressure, the self-centeredness of the spouse.
When all these elements are in the already miserable marriage, one has to start thinking very hard about the next step. Even after talking with the spouse about the ‘issues’ in the marriage, he/she either ‘improves’ ( they don’t change, mind you) chances are they will revert back to their old selves and one is back to square one.
So despite trying hard to work things out to give it another go, it’s just not possible to go on and divorce will be the way out. In cases like these there really has nothing to forgive just simply having to move on, move forward and forget about the unhappiness and misery.
‘the path of true love never lies straight’. Well spoken.
Hi Geraldine #34
Yes, I understand. Definitely, there’s more to life than keeping “A leopard that does not change its spots!”
Have a great day today!
Cheers and sunshine,
Gabriella
Communication breaks down. Marriage breaks up. The romantic world outside of the family beckons alluringly. Love ends. Murder-cum-suicide follows. So sad.
No one is ready when the spouse wants go. The pain and agony can kill. Living thru the next 6-12 months is like climbing a steep hill all alone, cold & chilled. The feel can be both jilt and guilt – where’s the “till death do we part” she promised. I must hv done smthg very wrong to make her leave me………
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Hi Terence/Tim
Can anyone recommend a panacea for a blissful marriage?
Do you think the “Obedient Wives Club” or “Obedient Husbands Club” will help?
Warmest regards,
Gabriella
Having failed twice, I am still on the panadol so no panacea from me.
A happy family is one which plays together. Look around SHC and we see the happy Kees, the Lais, the Wees, the Tangs, the Sums…….with both husbands and wives registered as members to be together, to play together.
Conversely, if only one spouse is tegistered, he/she plays freely. The play can sometimes turn cheeky, and the path becomes slippery.
There’s this justification that his and her interests/hobbies even personalities are different so they pursue what they each enjoy without the other. So, it starts with “without the other” and it might become a wish eventually. Scary.
To get obedience from your spouse? It is for annimal trainers.
Even if some wives and husbands do behave like animals, never treat them as such. If the marriage can be saved, salvage it. If not, get a divorce. Walk away. Let that animal go loose. It will be eaten up when it next bites a bigger animal.
Now, back to our Post on bringing our adult children, nieces and nephews together. Here, we are trying to see if we can have an event for the young ones. Of course, you can come along, if your young ones come along.
Assuming we have say 4 – 8 young ones, parents not counted, yes, we could organise an event based on the theme “Romance”. Not to worry if you or your kids are not too sure if you can make it now, we should at this stage have a feel if you as parent would be keen to bring your young adults together.
We shall close this registration end of Julyh 2011.
Terence Seah
I see the fotos of 2 scredew-up faces in today’s papers. The woman looks a lot like comedian Michael Hui (???? in disguise. Well, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and who is to tell him that Michael Hui cant be pretty.
It takes a lot of efforts and sacrifces to stay with a spouse and to create romance when she becomes metally handicapped. But I know of people who can or will, and I salute them all.
Not least, these people win the respect of their own children who will learn what love is and really means.
I can’t help but add : indeed you can tell when one is IN LOVE. In the beginning everything sparkle, even their nails has a glowing color………so “is it better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all”?? Can parents, good frens give advice when it comes to the matter of the heart?? Some say its fate and that everyone’s journey on earth are different, we can pray for them and wish them well…………….……
Bringing adults and children together can be dangerous.
Nevermind an age gap of almost 30 years, they fell in love and became intimate very quickly. Lao Gong, Lao Po exchanged freely and without any need for the terms to make sense.
He must hv felt on top of the world during those honeymoon days. Now, ??????????? ?????
“Beyonf my control” isnt smthg nice to say when you were part of the team that practises the British Parliamentary system of collective accountability. Better to say, “the tender offer has already been accepted, we will have to honour it now”.
Still, it’s a lameduck.
Why was that decision taken, with him sat in as a participating member of the decision? Nothing can absolve him from some responsibility for the decision. Dont shirk it, it’s not good guts to let people think that it was that mabok fella who made that horrific decision, not me.
Charity. We have the NKF scandal to remind us. Now, we see what’s on-going in China charities to frighten us.
The charity I like to do is to give $ direct to the beneficiary, someone I have some means to appraise his needs first.
Yes, it means more work – make time to go down and meet the person or institution. But my consolation is, I get to see for real with my eyes, which is certainly worth the extra effort made.
To jump into a bandwagon, as I see it, is foolish. To cry pa and ma later is even more disgusting.
Hi #42
Re: story about Lao Gong, Lao Po in ST today.
Just wanna quote from Allan and Barbara Pease, relationship authors who have written at least 15 bestsellers.
“Love is about chemical reactions in the brain. Love is a chemical cocktail of happy drugs, and people who are addicted to this cocktail are known as ‘sex addicts’. To not understand that love is a series of chemical reactions can leave one exposed to every love rat who comes along.”
This may explain why some … including ex-US president, can be so ‘drunk’ in this cocktail that they can do anything that puts themselves in jeopardy!
Hee hee….
Terence,
Registration? Wah, very serious leh. So formal. Don’t know if my girl will cooperate.
Any way, when, where and what time, etc? What activity will be involved?
Yes, we may ascribe to love or romance and provide the opportunities for our adult children, nephews or nieces to see them live a good life of their own. But these opportunities we provide must be “right” for them.
In our zeal to do national service by acting as matchmakers, we have to weigh these opportunities with the “dangers” provided at such sessions. As highlighted wisely by a fellow SHC, if we want to do charity, best we inspect the goods first to determine suitability and desirability or we will live to regret our good intentions.
Culling from cases in my volunteer work, why divorce rate sees no downward trend is simply, because when many fall in love & get married, the relationship is unconditional. But when married life throws them grenades or bombs, the relationship suddenly turns conditional. As pointed out by someone very observant, many desirable people choose to stay single because they are really smart to know what they cannot chew off their plates.
Today’s New Paper tells the case of a Singapore man who wants a quick divorce because he has to:
Drive wife around like personal driver
Make small talk with wife’s family members
Eat food he hates
Do household chores alone
The judge dismissed the case citing the reasons as TRIVIAL!
Maybe, they have signed on the dotted line when they were in the euphoric stage? kekekeeee
Regards.
Hey Gabriella
Thanks for sharing this.
You know what? My immediate comeback is: the judge should live with the wife and get a taste of these ‘trivial’ reasons. The divorce will be sooo granted.
Goes to show how quickly one dismisses the unhappiness/pressure of others just because. Shoot!
p/s either during the euphoric stage (with neverending sex) or an obligation. Shakes head…….
Hi Geraldine #47
I’ve sent some beautiful emails to you today. Not sure if you have received them and whether you find them meaningful/inspirational?
Warmest regards…
Hey Gabriella
Have received them. Will go thru’ later and get back to you.
Thanks!