Here is an idea and thought which I like to pursue, together with other interested members.
All our activities have so far been organised by members, and mainly for members. The EOs have organised these events very well. Of course, we do have difficulties finding enough EOs or ECs. There are reasons.
The Club has been successful in this sense, because of the EOs and ECs. I have been thinking about organising more gatherings and events but opening it to other Singaporeans and PRs. Hopefully, we achieve our aim to have a more balanced sex ratio in our Club activities. Perhaps, more men will join SilverHairsClub. We are always short of men in our activities. This is serious matter. As a result, we failed to launch Paper Clips.
And hopefully, with an expanded group of participants, we will find more EOs and ECs to organise more SHC activities. Many members who have found friends in SHC have formed their own private groups, and have their own activities, leaving out the other members in general. These groups have migrated to UK or Australia, or somewhere.
It is unfortunate that many EOs and ECs feel the frustration and disappointment of negative remarks from members. While everybody has the right to rebutt and comment, the element of sensitivity is not there. I shall share with you more some day.
We have to do something or else our active SHC members will dwindle. I still hope every member will organise one activity during the lifetime of your membership. If you have not done your part for the club as an EO, please consider. You may seek assistance from other senior SHCians.
Based on conversations with members, the idea of expanding to Singaore in general is good, but this may not work because we lack EOs and we lack helpers. Many members are busy, may be still working and unwilling for many reasons; some members feel they prefer to participate in small groups, rather than big groups. And, some feel they should be compensated for their services doing supporting roles for the Club.
But, I think we should not give up. The Club still continues with what it has been doing so far, as it has worked.
I am now thinking of engaging our group of retirees, to bring more activities and life to other Singaporeans and PR. Activities will be extended to all Singapore. These activities will be run under the umbrella of the SilverHairs Enterprise Pte Ltd. SHE owns the club blog SilverHairsClub.com and the name “SilverHairsClub”. Committee members will be compensated. If you are retired, have the time, and would like to join the SHE committee to organise activities, please let me know. Feel free to discuss. You may also whatsapp me. We are at stage 1 – idea stage.
Members who have questions or ideas, please do raise them. I love positive thinking.
Terence Seah
Wow, Terence, good idea leh… I like that… and I believed that if some compensation can be worked out, there shd be no lack of EOs or ECs… Cheers.. Dolly
Under the SilverHairsClub, EOs and ECS can continue as they have been running. The decision on events will be left to the EOs and the ECs.
If the event is large and requires the event to be held under the umbrella of SilverHairs Enterprise Pte Ltd, and if it open to Singaporeans and PRs in general, or requires liaison with business entities or govt bodies, then this committee can come into place. Very few members are willing to offer their time for organising such activities. We would work along the concept that the organising committee would be compensated based on the profit generated.
The details are still not there, but it is clear SilverHairs generally do not have the time to offer on a voluntary basis. They will participate. Therefore, I am looking to address this dilemma; we want more activities but no organisers. Our SilverHairs in Singapore are getting larger in numbers too. Compensation as a percentage of the profit may be one way.
If you are retired, and like to join the SilverHairs Enterprise as a committee member, please let me know. We will have a meeting among ourselves sometime this month.
Thanks Dolly for your thought.
Terence Seah
We could look into organizing activities catering specifically to retirees/semi-retirees. Such activities for this target group will take place on weekdays. Here we can include visits to places of interest in S’pore, bus tours, gatherings of special interest groups … :)
The rationale: Birds of the same feathers gathering together is more interesting for all the birds in the same group. lol!
2-ct worth
Terence,
We are not short of senior members in SHC and quite a lot of them have leadership skills in the working sector, or were once leaders – but why is it still so difficult to get them to be the EO? For the less experienced ones, It can get a bit overwhelming to do his/her first event and I think no one likes to be seen as a failure if the response is below the minimum number. You also need a strong stomach to take in some nonsense from the difficult participants.
I’ve always supported the idea of Co-EOs like what you have suggested, even for smaller events, otherwise you will have little hope of seeing new blood entering the scene if you wait for a single person to handle an activity. That’s because it’s never easy to organise an event and the new EO needs the support of a veteran EO who has a good track record and persuasive power to galvanize support and pull in the numbers. Slowly, slowly this will give the new entrant more confidence and encourage him/her to do one more and hopefully to be able to stand on his/her own two feet one day and become an independent EO.
I do not quite understand the criteria of reaching out to Singaporean and PRs. Do the only above 45 years of age still apply or waives.
Though the lack of EO and helper is an issue, the lack of or poor response to some of the scheme and project leading it to be abandoned show that the real issues are getting the 5,000 inactive members to participate. There seem to be a disconnect somehow.
I am not sure if it would be a good idea to do a simple quetionaires survey of what members would like to get out of this club.
Knowing their desires and need would better let the committee to work on this instead of fathom in the dark coming out with boardroom project that continue to fail
to take off.
The contraints of the club and what we wont want the club to be should be made known ahead so the feedback can be more focus.
Eg. this will remain a virtual club unless one member with his own eatery or entertainment outlet offer to lend its place as a regular watering hole or gathering place. We never know.
I would not mind joining you and your committee member to brain storm ideas.
I feel the SHC site should have a corporate member listing mentioning who the corporate member are and the services they can provide. Also it seems to me, currently the corporate members are in individual name and not corporate name.
6000 members in SHC is quite a force if it can be galvanized or if the services/product can just satisfy even 50% of them.
If the questionaire survey proposal is accepted, perhaps brain can start working to come out with the questions. I believe this exercise is good to get the committee
going in the right direction
Leon
Hi Leon,
Good start to comments and ideas on this Post. Let it flow and we hear what other members have to say.
I shall include you in the 1st session meeting.
Terence Seah
Terence, there are happy ‘followers’ in SHC – members who will readily comply with the activities planned by the EOs. Then, there are the unofficial ‘Indian chiefs’ – those who will put forth their opinions on how the activity should be run even as the EO has already solidify the programme. These, plus those who withdraw at the last minute with total disregard of informing the EO, are the bane any EO has to endure and not every potential EO has the equilibrium to be unaffected by such incidents, however minor it might be.
This has resulted in private group formation. Organize outings/activities and invite those who are easy to get along with. Great for bonding and cultivating good relationships but where does this leave the new members? To which category will they fall in?
Cheers
Ros
Hi Terence
There are many who volunteer to be EOs and Co EOs, who do it out of sheer joy of sharing, to give members the chance to get to know each other and to make good use of their skills and knowledge. And the compensation comes as a bonus. And I agree with most of the comments above about the amount of time and effort required to organise an event etc. Not many are willing to take the plunge. Have been an EO a couple of times so I always appreciate the hard work put in by the EOs and their committee members and I try to support by attending whenever possible. Like it is, it is already quite difficult to get members to participate in the activities, let alone organise it. Hopefully, the SHE committee not only look at what activities are interesting but how to motivate members to participate.
Cheers
Carly
Terence,
I hope that ideas contributed to the committee are not just ideas only and no NATO please. Perhaps as a start, members should be those who have EO’d some activities to be able to appreciate what it takes to be EO and why EO’s, like me are starting to be going “underground” and do activities by invitation only. Without an understanding of why EO’s are now MIA (missing-in-action) I dont see how the problem can be solved.
Thank you.
Terence,
I would like to be included in the 1st meeting too….. Cheers.. Dolly
Next week, Monday 7 July, we can have a meeting for members who are interested to be committee members of SHE (Events).
Place: 313@Somerset Food Republic, between SOUP and TOAST. Time: 1145 hr
During this session, feel free to discuss. I shall share with you the thinking before this committee. This project is offered only to retirees.
Please let me know if you are coming.
Terence Seah
Aiyo, Terence, sorry hv to miss July 7 meeting as that day, I will need to bring my dad for hospital follow-up visits. Keep in the loop for details, OK…
Thanks.. Dolly
The cause of any tiff is usually money. Having a solution to this will solve most problems, if not all. So let’s get down to earth and talk money. Don’t be shy.
In all volunteering commitments, tasks are largely done out of good will -– often but not limited to, charity organisations. Volunteers do not mind even forking out money to do what they believe to be a good cause.
In all business concerns, money transactions are sensitive albeit essential matters. Call it reputation, principle or simply a contract; participants have to play by the rule – assuming there is already an unambiguous rule to start with.
Uncertainties arise when we are neither here nor there. The sad part is, the money involved is a negligible amount; something that we can well afford. Perhaps we have yet to find good answers to “Why should I?” and “Why don’t you?”
Friendship sours up because of a mere few bucks, or the lack of it, is the worst thing that can happen.
Every event can be different. To avoid misunderstandings, the organiser hence has to spell out explicitly what he wants in terms of payment. In doing so, she/he risks having fewer committed participants. It is a tough balance. Is there any wonder that we have so few Eos?
DC
Hi DanielC,
I read your comments a few times over. I sense there is something in your message that I am not able to figure out but can be of great value.
Can you go further? What is this “tough balance”?
What have you in mind that are good answers? I like your seriousness on this topic.
Terence Seah
I think it is the ‘demands’ of participants that is putting EOs off
Different age groups behave differently in terms of ‘demands’ The 40s to mid 50s and the mid 50s to 60s and above. The latter tends to have more demands more than the 40s. I organized a group for 40s recently 20 turned up and none put demands on me even though there were some changes last minutes due to the stall not willing to take so many orders. They were all friendly, no hsngups, able to accept everyone. Unlike the shc groups, the reasons many go underground is because they want to be with people of their kind, unwilling to accept certain people, not open to diversity. The younger group are more adventurous and diversify in nature.
‘Different folks, different strokes’ and this is where most problems in human communications/interactions occur. Nonetheless, I do believe that whether you know better than the EO, respect and co-operation is the unwritten rule IF a member wants to participate in an event. If anyone feels they have great suggestions to contribute, communicate directly with the EO and not in group chats or in the post. EOs will generally appreciate good ideas to make the event more fun for all participants but then again, there’s no guarantee what might be perceived as a brilliant idea to one might not be to the EO. At the end of the day, the EO has the final say.
Cheers
Ros
Terence. As with many of my past comments, I probe the issue and attempt a solution to what I perceived as the major problem. Appreciate your attention,
As with any activity or project, money is the cause of all anxieties and apprehensions. Discard the niceties and get down to business. When the issue of money is taken care of, many teething problems are solved. Your newly created “Payment Counter” is a step in the right direction – some fine tuning perhaps.
Why tough balance (on the part of the EO)?
1 Choice of participants – quantity or quality?
Every EO will want to get as many participants as possible. Unfortunately, more people means potentially more problems. And whether a person measures up to the EO’s criteria of a “preferred participant” can only be known after the event.
2 Out of pocket funding – to give or not to give?
It is unfair that the EO, after contributing time and efforts, have to chip in money in order to make the event a success. Once a while, nature may present us with such a kind soul, but we cannot take this for granted.
3 Program control – relaxed or rigid?
An EO believes he is taking care of everybody, and hence expects absolute conformity and precision clockwork. The participant feels that he is there to enjoy himself and need not be subject to corporate or military style discipline.
An EO’s job is never easy. It is easy for sympathisers on the sideline to say, “Anybody not happy don’t join lah”, but it then defeats the whole purpose of organising. Nobody wants to be difficult for no reason. A little consideration and compassion from all concerned makes life happier for everybody.
Having said that, we should salute all the EOs who have had done (and still doing) their part in creating fun and entertainment for the majority of us.
DC
Hi Terence
I have experienced first-hand the negative impact of being an EO… I became a co-EO (there were two co-EOs) for the last Taipei Night, albeit not by choice but by chance…. Terence ‘pulled me’ in to do the seating plan although I was most reluctant. (Chinese saying: Why don’t you scratch the itchy rather than the painful part?).. Reason is I was pretty new in SHC and was enjoying a v peaceful life… nonetheless, I tried my best but then again ~ wat happened? One man’s meat is another man’s poison. What you think is the best from your point of view may be interpreted differently!
Luckily, you were the Indian Chief (EO)…. haha
For members who have been EOs or ECs and who have met negative experience, I hope you dont give up. Looking at it positively, I think they are good experiences, and we learn to deal with them as we go along. In other words, we move on with our lives.
Thinking aloud, I like to share with you what’s on my mind.
1. SHC EOs and ECs continue as what they have been doing since 2005. The concept has worked for almost 9 years, so let’s continue with it within the SilverHairsClub. The EOs and ECs make the final decision.
2. Under SilverHairs Enterprise Pte Ltd, larger and more complicated events and activities will be organised. This activities will require more coordination and involve more people. For each of these activities organised by SHE, there will be a few people to form a committee. Let’s say there are 3 members in the committee under Event A. These members will run the show for this event. For their work and effort, the members will be compensated based the margin made. In others words, SHE will not organise loss making events. The activities will also be extended to the wider Singapore, with SilverHairs in mind. I am discussing likely scenarios with members who have contacted me via Whatsapp, and I shall announced them soon. Please contact me if you have an interest.
As we go along, maybe after a year, I have in mind for these committee members who share similar thinking and work, to be part of SHE.
Terence Seah
Hi
As a EO or committes – u hv to accept both positve n negative feedbacks/complaints n make improvememt n not complaiming n still talking abt the same topic.
If u really did a good n fair job …then u wont get such negative people giving negative comment.
I believe EO hv learnt from this event to be more careful n fair on any issue for future event.
Quiet time start now.!!!!
Karen Thio
Some of us had organised countless events, be EO or EC, also received lots of positive and negative comments from here or elsewhere, gossip talks or others.. So no matter, how good or lousy the event can be, there will always be a fair shares of positive and negative comments flying around. So, why dont stress with these… just move on… Like that, 1 can be more happy and most willing to organise next activities as we seem deem fit.. right?… my 2cts worth…Cheers.. Dolly
Dear Terence,
Some members complain there is a lack of activities. Factually some events organised have to be aborted due to poor response. How to reconcile these situations? Are we organising the type of events most members are not interested in?
Amended,
Should be read as “So, why stress with these… just move on… Like that, 1 can be more happy and most willing to organise next activities as we seem deem fit.. …”
Hi Terence
Today, let me focus on the positive side of being an EO or EC. Actually, he/she also receives lots of accolades from some participants. This is in addition to the loads of experience one gets in organising a big event. You feel a sense of satisfaction that you’ve made it ~ an intangible which money can’t buy.
Taking the role of EO/EC involves some risk-taking but then again, this makes life more interesting? Hence, if one has the time, it’s worth taking up this challenge ya?
Let me quote William Arthur Ward’s ‘poem’:
“To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
Cheerio
This is a good piece of read – apply at work place and here too as long as 2-3 gathers in a meet or co-leads
Conflict Management and Negotiation Western Way!
If everyone agreed on everything all the time, the world would be beautiful and peaceful without conflict. No conflict would be great, but it would be very boring, because nothing would ever change. We need conflicting ideas in order to do the thinking to move forward. Truthfully, we need conflict with existing view of the world in order to learn and be creative. We need conflict with another person in order to deepen our relationship. However, it does not mean yelling, fighting, etc.
To be successful in mastering the conflict and negotiation skills, we need to communicate more effectively in “charged” situations. And then go towards the conflict and move through it to the next level. As a manager, I bound to encounter differences either within my team or between you and a client. These situations can be emotionally taxing, but if we have a better understanding of how to work through them and even learn and grow from them, conflicts can actually make you better at your job. In fact, when handled well, conflict forces us to be creative problem-solvers, to avoid mistakes, and to learn how to benefit from individual’s differences, all while challenging us to broaden our skills. Conflict gets nasty, gets personal, leads to more conflict, and harms working relationships. Fortunately, now we can prevent disagreements from learning about how different people deal with conflict in this course.
Understanding the types of behavior that occur during conflict, it can help us to get the most out of it. The types of conflict behavior are:
1. Competing: you have a high concern for personal goals and low concern for relationships.
2. Collaborative: you’re interested in a mutually satisfactory solution.
3. Compromising: you’re willing to give something up if they are.
4. Avoiding: you delay and ignore the conflict, hoping it will resolve itself.
5. Accommodating: you’re willing to make a sacrifice to avoid confrontation.
Using the points from the book, “Crucial Conversation, “ we can apply these skills:
• Work on Me First
• Focus on What You Want
• Learn to Look
• Make It Safe
• Apologize When Appropriate
Further, we can practice the four principles of effective negotiation from the book, “Getting to Yes.” It is a highly effective way of reaching good agreements. The process of principled negotiation can be used effectively on almost any type of dispute.
1) Separate the people from the problem
2) Focus on interests rather than positions
3) Generate a variety of options before settling on an agreement
4) Insist that the agreement be based on objective criteria
It is not easy to resolve conflict in any relationship. Sometimes in conflict it is important to step back, or move away from the emotional attachments that go with a disagreement. Removing the self emotionally helps to avoid trading personal attacks. This approach makes it possible to approach the situation in a neutral way, such as: “We have a problem here that isn’t working for us. We need to work together to develop options.” Being committed to the relationship is important in conflict resolution. If we really care about a person being right is less important than maintaining relations. That is the desire to clear up misunderstanding, develop understanding and find a resolution that works for all parties involved. How we communicate in conflicts can affect the outcome.
Clearly conflict resolution is a complicated skill. Most people can benefit from developing the skills of stepping back from the conflict. Practicing these skills will enhance our communication style. Effective solutions and better relationships are achieved in this manner.
Another Monday another week………
Share this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8IGdj6YeZo
DC
Hi Leon,
I like your idea of doing a survey to members. We have done a couple of surveys before, although they were specific for other purpose.
If you can design up a survey, taking feedback from other member, we can send that email to all members, active or otherwise, and see their feedback. You might like to use some of the online feedback aps that are available online. Share the survey idea on the forum first with other members.
If you can have the survey questionaire ready by end Aug, you are likely to get feedback with the first two weeks of Sept. Give it a go.
Terence Seah