Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others, and it doesn’t seem to have much to do with material goods or high achievement—things many people spend a lot of their time worrying about. So what do they have that you don’t?
1. Relax. Lighten up. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life. One of the major causes of stress is worrying about things that are out of your control. Learn to recognize these things and if you can truly do nothing about them, then just let them go. Take time to laugh at yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you can take things, the happier your life will be. It wouldn’t be life if some bad things don’t happen.
2. Smile You would be surprised how much of an immediate difference physically smiling has on your mood, if you smile and force a little laugh you will feel your mood lighten and you won’t have to force it next time.
3. Take the good with the bad. No one is happy all the time. Everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can enjoy today, and look to the future. If we are prepared to take ownership for the past and accept that everything that’s happened in our life, good and bad, has made us the person we are – the battle is half won.
4. Be thankful. A key component of happiness is acceptance – learning to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it but don’t keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others’ is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else’s. Keep a "gratitude journal". Every day, write down a few things that you are thankful for and then review what you have written in past entries. It’s a great way to remind yourself to be thankful for what you have and to boost your mood.
5. Be yourself. Much criticism is caused by people who are discontented with themselves, not with you. One way to get in touch with yourself is through journaling, diaries or (lately) blogs. Your goal may be to open up completely to yourself and learn to be your own best friend by being completely honest with yourself. What do you want out of life? What makes you truly happy? Who do you want to be?
6. Pursue goals that make you happy. Strive for long term goals rather than short term satisfaction. It’s very easy to gain short term satisfaction–a quick high, a fast relief from your current problems (such as drugs, alcohol, sex). But it is what it is, a "short term" satisfaction, and the effects die out very soon, leaving you with an empty feeling that is sometimes worse than before. Set long term goals, goals which take time, thought, and effort to achieve. This will make you continually work towards improving yourself bit by bit and will give you the satisfaction of bringing a permanent change in your life.
7. Focus on the Objective. If the thoughts you are thinking are not giving you that ‘good feeling’, then think about something else that will make you feel good in that moment. Observe your thoughts and ideas consistently throughout the day (diary/journal if possible). Sometimes this may not be as easy as you think if you are stuck in a "destructive" train of thought and your brain chemicals are getting fired up and forming "anxiety or anger" thoughts. Anxiety, fear and anger patterns can be interrupted by focusing on something else. This will dissipate the rush of chemicals that are making you feel bad. Immediately then go back to picturing scenes/remembering things/imagining, planning stuff that makes you feel good.
8. Develop healthy relationships.
o Family. If you want a stronger relationship with your family, you’re going to need to be honest with them. Tell your family about your life and don’t insult them – it hurts them just as much as it hurts you to be insulted. If you are in an abusive family, you must find a way to stop the abuse and that may include separation.
o Have a healthy relationship. If you’re dating, get involved with activities that reflect who you are, and get to know people who like the things you do. Get involved with someone who loves life and pursues happiness the way you do. If you’re in a relationship, strive to make that relationship healthy.
o Choose your friends carefully. Nearly everyone needs someone who cares for them and treats them well. If you have friends who are treating you badly, or are not supportive of you and your goals to improve your life, then ditch them and find friends that do care about you. If you can’t find any friends like that in your current circumstances, then look elsewhere. If you’re feeling sad, there’s nothing like going out with your friends to make you feel better. Surround yourself with friends who are beneficial, encouraging, and helpful. We all need this continuing, nurturing encouragement to make solid desired progress in life.
9. Make someone else happy. When you’re feeling powerless to create happiness in your life, do something to make someone else–anyone–happy, and you’ll remember how easy it really can be. Isn’t it true the happiest people we know are typically the ones who for some foolish reason are always ready to give you the clothes off their back? And frequently it is true that the most discontented people are the ones who are selfish, demanding, and inconsiderate of others. The happiest days of our lives, when we really dig down deep, is when we see the smile on the face of a person who we care about. Even helping a stranger can remind you of how much you really have, because of how much you can give. Serve at a rescue mission and you will learn the meaning of "I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet."
Have this book entitled “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” by Dale Carnegie since 2004….pages already turned yellowish. Didn’t get to read it at all. If any SHCian interested to have it. Do let me know.
Wah Daniel,
So ‘cheem’ and true.
Beautiful in theory but so difficult to attain.
Still trying to count my blessings to off-set the downside.
Hi Daniel
Like the article you posted. Will make a copy of it and read it now and then.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
WeeJee
Wah Daniel,
First, we hardly hear from you and when we do, woh it is one long piece on being happy. I suppose everyone knows what to do to attain happiness and stay happy but its timely reminders like yours that make us sit up and rethink our position and outlook in life, thanks for the piece.
Hi Daniel,
I don’t know whether I’ve met you.
Thanks any way for the lovely post about “How To Be Happy”,
yes indeed, I agree with what you have posted in the forum especially no. 3 “Take the good with the bad. No one is happy all the time. Everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can enjoy today, and look to the future. If we are prepared to take ownership for the past and accept that everything that’s happened in our life, good and bad, has made us the person we are – the battle is half won.” People are unreasonable, illogical & self -centred, love them any way,If you do well, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, do good any way, if you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies, succeed any way, the good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow, do good any way, what you spent years building may be destroyed overnight, build any way and SMILE.
Smile increases value of Face,
Anger spoils Beauty of Soul,
Faith is the Force of Life,
Confidence is companion of Success,
SO KEEP SMILING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
And the Receipe of Happiness is:
“Two heaped cups of PATIENCE,
One HEART FULL OF LOVE,
Two handfuls of GENEROSITY
and a dash of HUMOUR,
Sprinkle with KINDNESS, and
Plenty of FAITH & mix well,
Spread over a period of LIFETIME and
SERVE TO EVERYONE YOU MEET!
Cheers!
Hi Daniel,
Good to hear from you and about sharing your happiness.
Happiness to me now is having a clear, peaceful mind pursuing healthy interests that you did not have the time, money ,etc back then.
Of course sharing such interests with more friend double the happiness, and being able to push each other to improve, provides the motivation while keeping the mind, body alert and strong at the same time.
That is what I was trying to do having the laid back weekend retreat, that those of varied interest can find the focus, master mind group to move on forward and enjoy learning together.
Patrick as mentioned earlier wasted no time and started the MJ group and I hope to start the MJ group but you left us without the beat to go on, but we will still try.
About relationships keeping you happy, I think after 35 years with one lady and still working to support her, I think I rather have the peace of mind, freedom, less worry, and have more time for interest and travel, golf, MJ, blading etc.
Nearing 60, we have to start learning to be less dependent on anyone, anything, but ourselves to be happy.
Hi Ronald Wie,
Happy for you that you have found happiness, enjoying moments with your friends.Sharing your interests and encouraging more friends to learn together, good job! Keep itt up!
Cheers!
Thanks Nancy, wish you find the peace, happiness and rewards you truly deserve for all the difficult years that makes whatever setbacks I had seems like a climb over Bukit Timah hill.
I truly feel must have gone through Everest alone, without any guide at all, except for the one we believe has the purpose for us all.
Btw, MJ here means Music Jamming club not for Mah Jong but that I do indulge in when we have good company who plays for the fun and gamemanship. Daniel, here you come and go again, appearing the full moon once a month.
Anyway good that you are keeping in touch with our forum and contributing your part. Hope we can have a MJ sometime soon and your cooking too, and for that will drive over anytime you call. Cheers
Sharing…
Happiness On A Shoestring
(a.k.a. Slow Down)
Slow down, do.
Let’s sit on the wall
Like Humpty Dumpty but we do not fall.
Hey! A little bird has come near.
So cute! What a sooty little body;
It’s got orange legs I’m surprised to see.
Tarry a little while.
Enjoy nature’s hidden beauty;
Life in the slow lane is a luxury.
(copyrighted)
Learned this from Tim: CUT & PASTE =>
How do I change?
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
by Og Mandino, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”
Thanks Ivan, for the inspiration
Now I do change
If I feel the breast I will zing.
If I feel the lap I will fluff.
If I feel you, my will doubles yr labour (i.e. twins).
If I feel, dear, I will plunge ahead.
If I feel the interior I will wear new garments.
If I feel it hardens I will raise my hoist.
If I feel naughty I will think of filth, to cum.
If I feel impotent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my gals.
Today I will be the master of R(A) pic motions.
by Og Asm, “The Greatest Sexman in the World”