To all you cheerful (and grumpy if any) folks especially the ladies at SHC
Here’s a controversial topic which we talk about almost every day in private but never dare to bring it up in the open. I hope to arouse your interest and put on your thinking cap to openly discuss it.
It’s about the WOMEN of SHC.
As an observer and after a period of scrutiny since joining SHC 2 weeks ago, I note there are basically four categories of women here. Leaving the happily married aside, there are the divorcees, the widows, the "desperate"singles, and the married singles.
Now, what are the trademarks and characteristics of each category of these women, i.e. are they cheerful? Lonesome? Happy-go-lucky? Quarrelsome? Weird? Sporty (don’t play play)? Independent? Aggressive? Dominating? Swinging? Prone to and desirous of love (I love that hunk, if only he would talk to me first)? Hurtful? Are they really desperate (Men, BAH! Who needs them)? Married but single (Yabadabadoo! That louse hubby of mine is out of town for another 2 weeks)? Sensitive (It’s all that man’s fault!)?
You need only to write about your own traits and grievances to dispel any misunderstanding and misgiving about you. Alternatively, you could pick on and write about one of the 4 categories you are most familiar with. That way, we can cooperate and socialise as a happy family henceforth.
The whole idea is to better understand them in order that we can tread more carefully when socialising with them in SHC. Your comments, either 2 cents worth or million dollar opinion, are welcomed here. Happily married ladies, your contributions will be invaluable too to cheer up the aggrieved singles (Oh, they got all the good and handsome ones!), and share the laughter with the rest.
Guys, feel free to chip in your 2-bid worth of remarks too, but please, no vulgarities or name calling . This is a decent forum and the ladies deserve our respect. Agree. Mr. Steven Chan?
Not to worry, ladies, you will get your chance to "hantam" the men on the next episode after this.
May I invite our outspoken Ms Lina Ng (Ooo…, don’t you love it when they still address themselves as Miss?) to cast the first ROCK and start the ball ROLL-ing.
“As an observer ……..since joining SHC 2 weeks ago, I note there are basically four categories of women here. ….the “desperate”singles…..Married but single ……That louse hubby of mine is out of town………”
Haha, you are inviting barbs. Believe me you that you’ll be buried in an avalanche of stones with the last standing high as a tablet and declaring “In under lies the debris of Mr ChinBoon cut by lips, sliced by T-backs, maimed by high-heeled shoes, sat on by cow-elephants and finally lost his last breath in a barrage of lashing tongues”.
The world has changed. The good old days when women weaved and spun at home making babies for hubbies as their 1 & only hobby, are memories. Today they learn line dance, tomorrow they teach you lion danz. Some earn as much if not more than the guys. With money, they dont behave like guys and bargain at geylang; they jet into arms of midnite cowboys who dont upset gals like Steven or talk 24/7 like Patrick-K or cd do nothing than climbing trees like tim liu.
Internet helps them to learn, that it’s not a shame to talk abt sax, hv sax, enjoy sax. Trained to do multi-task in the office, they detest being that multiplying machine their moms once were. They engage with multi-partners performing multi tricks in multi styles.
If men dont live by their vow of “1-woman man” why cant the gals look for spiderman? So, when the gals open themselves up, they have all the days in the week filled…..after spiderman comes batman (and his sidekick robin), superman, capt america, the hulk, the hunk. Even mr bean.
Having tasted the first taste of the forbidden fruit, the 2nd taste becomes easier & sweeter and then the 3rd, 4th……….
Now know why I want to reincarnate as a tortoise?
Hi, Chin Boon:
Before you get whacked senseless by the ladies, I should mention that there are ladies who are single by choice, and happy the way they are. Not all unmarried women are ‘desparate.’
There are also divorcees, widowers, ‘desperate’ singles, married singles and happily single-by-choice among men. Among ‘married single’ men and women, there are also those who choose to remain, or are ‘trapped’ in unhappy marriages (disclaimer: I am not one of them).
Good to hear from the men in similar situations too.
Also, I assume the intention for your post is to try to understand the emotional state of mind of singles, and perhaps to provide a channel for some to blow some steam, seek advice, and maybe for other SHCians to provide morale support and/or provide advice. That would be well and good. However, I do hope that there won’t be any comments that are too belittling or trivailising as these can agravate the unhappiness and mental turmoil that some may be going through as a result (or the cause) of their current status.
Just my 2.5 cents.
Ron Koh
Hi,
I feel that when we meet anyone first of all, treat that person with respect, and then we inject a little humour along the way. That’s a little bit slice of life. cheers.
Hi Chin Boon,
To categorise women accordingly to their marital status and finding characteristics or traits in each particular group is merely stereotyping and rather unfair.
No two individual is the same even though they may share similar marital status.
If your idea is “to better understand them in order that we can tread more carefully when socialising with them in SHC”,
treat each & everyone with sincerity and politeness, you will win their friendship in reciprocal over time.
Cheers!
ChinBoon..
Wow!I must say..u so brave to discuss & throw yr ‘stones’ on this rather ‘sensitive’ topic in yr very short period in SHC..are u ready for lending yourselves into hot spicy soup?…apa macam!
But how come only for women?You should also catagorise the men & get their opinions too…& why they join SHC in the first place…like yourselves lah..
Well…u cant leave the happily married aside, as a women…i must also ‘defend’ my girlfrens…hhmmmm
As for me..i joined SHC bcos i want to make more frens..I love socialising & meet people…obviously ..i like to chat!
With 3 grown up children & a busy working husband…i got more time in hand to go jalan2..of course weekends are for family day lah…except cycling day…hehe
Not forgetting…i love to go holidays..that’s why thru SHC frens…we went to some places together…so fun!…besides going with my kids & hubby always..
Im looking fwd to our camping trip to ChiangMai in November..Terence, dont forget to buy air ticket for me hor!
I get to know Mary Perth..so sweet adorable women..
I wish i cud visit her place one day
Carly & LinaNg..great cook with their own twists!
& so many others!…everybody so frenly..we become a family
in SHC home.
In my more than a yr in SHC…i learn a lot..especially among the women..some join is bcos they need someone to talk to & perhaps seek ‘help’ or opinion on certain issues..
when i hear them tell me stories about their lives…so kesian..after listening..we can give advice or simply lend a crying shoulder…
but the guys took it differently…they think these women ‘love’ & desperate for them when they have tea or invited for dinner!…haha…susah lah!..i heard stories lah…sori…hehe
Alamak…i cakap too much lah…now let the others say something…
btw ChinBoon…if u looking for pretty slim tall…single with no strings attached…tak ada lah…those must be at home or somewhere cuddling their love ones!…hahaha
jangan marah…nanti saya carikan awak di luar ok :)
Chin Boon, the ladies at SHC have done you no wrong? Why don’t you put your comments to good use rather than finger pointing. Ask yourself what have you contributed to SHC within these two weeks.
Well commented Norlinda!
I support U all the way! Tho we’re all come from different
catergories, we’re all there jux to have some fun,activities
& relaxation.
Ever since I joined SHC, I’m so happy to meet up wif Mary Lee (Perth),lest I won’t enjoyed my holidays at her place.
Precisely, SHC has a lot of pleasant people like her.
If I were to mention all the names that I met, I’m afraid I might miss out some of them who’re genuinely very nice people.
At work, we’re all so stressed out and we’ve much younger colleagues who’re young enough to be our children.
Nothing like SHC, whom we can share the same interests!
Paul L,
I totally agreed with you.
Cheers
Hi Chin Boon,
This post is far too HOT and SENSITIVE to handle.
Pls. do not associate me or I will be “stoned” by the angry ladies.
Chin Boon…
You ‘siow’ liao is it ???
So for the last 2 weeks since joining SHC, you have
been scrutinising the women of SHC. What’s your
ulterior motive ?
The women of SHC are all ‘women of substance’ in
their rights. You dont have to ‘tread more carefully
when sociallising with them. To begin with, learn to
be respectful and be sensitive.
Ann Lim
Hi Chin Boon,
You had better stick to playing balls on the golf course. At least you are allowed to declare lost balls and you can replaced them. But throwing such remarks at SHC women here is asking to be castrated in no time, perhaps that will help you to remain single, not in the you may have planned.
As I did pen a love poem about attraction, love and respect comes strongly during the mating season and no one knows when it ends. So you should count yourself lucky still being hunted as a man for the hunt. The whole idea of all this bonding,attaction and desire, is that the off springs will be well taken care off till the young can fend for themselves.
The man display strength and virility while the female display storng emotional maternal insticnts to care for the man and the offsprings. Thus a man with good looks, charm and with a big bank account oozes incredible field of magntising power, so i can hardly blame any lady with equally strong emotions, mental and physical capabilities not to react appropriately.
But you have never been one to fall for this chemistry raction even when at you prime thus this display of magnetic field seems to have disturb your sense of solitary emotional stability causing you to retract with a fear you have never conquered before.
So I would advise you to stay on the course on the golf course I mean, and enjoy your peace of mind, comfort of emotional stability and the freedom to do what you want when you want without having always to think for two minds.
Why love, and go through the emotional roller coaster ride at the time of your life when your heart is at its weakest and time is no longer on your side.
Talking about this, can we have a game on Monday 24 th Aug,at Batam or JB with Tian Soon and Andrew Koh or anyone else, who wants to join. I need to have rest day after my adventure weekend. Tian Soon, Andrew and me will help to show him the course of life, the hazards, the goals and the rewards though the 18 holes.
Ladies and all, we will give CB a good grounding on the lessons of the birds and bees too, so excuse him for this time.
I think Chin Boon is just being extremely vocal on-line only. He just want some on-line fun. In reality, he comes across as painfully shy, almost afraid to socialise & get to know women! Hence he makes hasty remarks, and in 2 short weeks, managed to summarised all SHC ladies into 4 categiories! He is so shy, that he even gets embarassed when the word “singer” is placed next to his name, when he tries to come for a music jam!
Ron, since you speak up for him, I can excuse him, just this once. Do give him a good grounding during your golf game. There will be no ladies there, for sure!
Oh boy, looks like I have inevitably stirred up a hornet. Allow me to clarify my position.
First of all, I put the blame on respondent #1 whose misinterpretation of my dialogue and his comments are so negative that many of you bear ill feelings after reading my post in different context. It also borders on vulgarity in his last four paragraphs (I did say No vulgarities in this forum and the ladies deserve our respect, remember?). Consequently, this gave some of the ladies adverse impact and they translated my text to have the same meaning.
Let’s start from the beginning. If you read my text as it is intended, you will realise what I am looking for is to understand the women folks better. Of course I treat them with respect, and inject humour along the way (Celia Wong #4). How else could I have treated them, and isn’t that what I’m doing now just as Ronald Koh #2 has correctly written in his last para.?
If, as Yoon Chin #3 mentioned, there are more than these 5 categories of ladies, then I am truly short-sighted (matter of fact, I am, hence my specs). Could I humbly request you to share your right and brief me on the other ladies not classified under my 5 categories?
And Constance Wong #5, I agree with you that no two individual is the same while they share similar marital status. But that is why I suggest each individual highlights her traits so that we have a pool of information about them.
Paul Leong #6, where on earth did you find my text “finger pointing”? The ladies have done absolutely no wrong to date and that’s why I’m more curious and keen to know them better.
Ann Lim #10, this is just my observation and want to know them more. No ulterior motive intended in any way. Is there anything “siow” about this?
Norlinda #6, my funny friend, I did say this is a controversial topic. But sensitive? It’s people who read it in different light making it so “sensitive”. No, it’s not confined to women only. I think you miss my sentence “Ladies, you’ll get you chance to “hantam” the men on the next episode. And I’ll bet the men won’t feel “sensitive” and in fact would have a good laugh. This is what you call: A good sense of humour.
Frankly, I had expected a good feedback on my text like the Sunday Times’ lifestyle on page 11 “Breaking up is hard to do” by Anthony Yeo, where he appears more emphatic towards divorcing couples and divorcees.
So, people, do we start all over again in the right mood with open mind and a sense of humour, or do we remain hidden behind the closet on such controversial issue? Like I said in my profile, I’m being frank but sometimes it is misunderstood and attracts repercussion.
Er…, sorry, Mr. Steven Chan and Ms Lina Ng for associating you in this instance. It was meant to be a friendly joke but apparently you aren’t as brave and outspoken as I thought. I hereby withdraw your names therefrom.
Better still, I’ll withdraw my post if you choose to read it as the other angry ladies do. Site Admin, please advise how do you delete this post from your Forum General?
Yours truly
Chin Boon
Hi Ronald Wie
Sorry, just saw your comments after writing mine. Hey, your philisophy on love, attraction, and respect are very “chim” lah. You are right, I had better stick to playing balls on the golf course, but never ever say that I throw such remarks at SHC women. BTW, what remarks that deserve their quick castration in my text?
Oi…, August 24th is a Sunday lah, not Monday. While the idea of golfing at Batam sounds inviting, I’ll be away to Indonesia that day (to patch back what will probably be castrated).
Gee, is there anything more to know about the birds and the bees?
Lydia, you’re so mean lah. First you say I am an introvert, now you say I’m painfully shy and almost afraid to socialise and get to know women. On both accounts, you are ever so right. Therefore I’m glad that there will be no ladies when we golf, so that we can talk the men’s talk, and do the men’s things. Ron is such a nice guy for speaking out for me. See, men are ever so forgiving where golf is concerned, unlike……
Dear Chin Boon,
I think your post is premature! I wonder how many of us guys and gals you have met lately? Give us a chance to feel your heart beats before you even try to categorize the womenfolks here.
While your posting really meant to generate light-hearted comments, not many can see it in that light!
It’s a fact that we have the four categories of womenfolks here, but to try to really want to understand is easier said than done. You are actually putting them on the defensive and making them feel threatened!
I don’t thinks you need to give up this post, just clarify your stand and i am sure as adults we can accept that.
Danz
Thanks you, Danz, that’s the most sensible and mature comment on my forum. I really appreciate that. If only the others could see it in the same light as you do and come back with such feedback. That is the most encouraging piece of work from the seasoned you. Not everyone needs to write if she feels threatened, but the least I can assure everyone that my post is not meant to be offensive in any way.
Cheers!
So Chin Boon, for want of doing anythg better, you created a post so full of shit, dived in, stirred up shit and then when it got hot, shifted yr blame to me, deflecting the flak to what you and only you can find as vulgarities in my reply.
I am for the truth, that it’s not any one man’s birthright, let alone your birthright, to gallivant & philander. The gals too can choose their own lifestyles without having to be framed for criticim or be accountable to anyone, least you. So what’s there to talk about if a gal is this type or that type as much as I dont care that you’re of no type? Or just a hype.
Does it make you feel more wholesome to learn which gal is what so that you have a contribution to make, not in SHC endeavours, but in filling up the gossip mill?
The 2-week old you are too young to imbibe the culture of SHC so it’ll do you well not ot be seen as adding some kind of sub-culture.
Trust me, you will find SHC more fun if you try to understand where you wear a shirt before you seek to understand why gals wear skirts………
Chin Boon
In SHC , we get together as a big family…enjoy ourselves in every event organised by the EO.
“Two week old” – u do nothing but just talk so much and criticized , who u are and what right u have to group the ladies like that ???
DO u know how hard the EO of the event work ??? They have to make sure all event go well and I am proud to say that every and each member in every event enjoyed themselve to the fullest.
Why do u have to group the SHC ladies in this way … please respect all ladies in SHC and I believe that will also show respect for your mother and woman all over the world.
If u are here to find yourself a life partner , then think u are in the wrong place.
Always respect other before u want other to respect u , whoever u are or whatever u do , don walk with the nose in the air …. in SHC whoever u are …rich or poor, beautiful or ugly , sigle or married, divorce/married…. we respect each other.
Thanks to those guys who stand up for the ladies in this post.
Karen
Thank you Yoon Chin.
In the past, I hv been overly self-righteous, like Sengh has often said, a kwai-lan kia. Still am but probably more mellowed and see the philosophy in people wanting to change and do change, whether it’s bcos of growing up or growing old.
Ultimately, from where we come to where we go………loveless, foe-less, companionless, naked and without baggages………………..
Tim,
U mentioned Sengh many times, who is he ha?
Hi Karen,
Don’t come down too hard on him. Chin Boon have already regreted putting up the post. He’s probably didn’t expect that it’s going to be such a hot topic!
He’s genuinely wants to understand the female species better, I do not sense any sarcasm in his comments. Neither is he putting down any of us.
So let’s try to forgive him being a newbie in SHC. i am sure he meant no harm. I know that sometimes words can cut and once penned is hard to retrieve.
Let’s not allow history to repeat itself. We once have a loving couple who left us due to some miscontrued statements being made!
Dan
JaneW
Gv u some clues. He was at ECP on Sat wif his inviting chicken curry 2 offer. The nx dy he appeared as a clarefare @ BK. Coming Sat, he will camp at Kukup. The following Sat, he will fever on at Oxford.
Aiya Yew Kwong
JaneW does not go to all these events – how to guess?
JaneW
Ah Seng or Ah Ter is no other than Terence Seah Kim Seng lah. Why u so louya one?
Ah Boon
You tire of living hah? Wear your crash helmet before you post something like this hor.
Hi Chin Boon,
Having read thru’ your forum, I do understand your sentiments, and being a Newbie; you’re just trying your best to understand and know SHC ladies better. In light of this, you had inadvertently trampled on some sensitive issues, based on your input being perceived in a different manner.
However, ladies, Chin Boon really meant no harm at all, as clearly reflected in his para 7 ~~ ‘the whole idea is to understand us ladies better in order to tread more carefully when socialising in SHC’ ~~~
Let’s be magnanimous to leave this topic alone, as he’s aware of the repercussion derived from his forum, and within SHC, we are all & still a ‘Happy Family’!
Cheers!
Oh, Ah Sengh is Ah Kim Seng har….thanks YK n Lily for ur info… hehe
Kim Seng…hmmm …. nice name …
Yoon Chin
Thanks. Feel so happy after writing that comments.
karen
Dan
He should be the one who is apologising to all the ladies in SHC , not u to explain on his behalf.
Lots of ladies are not happy with all his comments and keep quiet just not to cause trouble…
karen
Tim
At least the “Kwai Lan Kia” show all respect for all the ladies in SHC .
Karen
Hi Chin Boon. I don’t think I have met you. I’ve been in SHC for 2 years and this is the most outrageous post I’ve seen. I hate to do this but I want to dissect your statements and scrutinise you before you attempt to scrutinise others. Your statements are in quotes.
“To all you cheerful (and grumpy if any) folks especially the ladies at SHC”
Here you say “cheerful” but your later statements say otherwise. And why especially the ladies?
“Here’s a controversial topic which we talk about almost every day in private but never dare to bring it up in the open. I hope to arouse your interest and put on your thinking cap to openly discuss it.”
Who talk about it almost every day in private? “You” does not mean “we”. There are certain things that should be best kept in private. What makes you think we are interested in discussing about others’ private life openly?
“It’s about the WOMEN of SHC.”
This is the unkindest cut of all. And it is in big bold letters.
“As an observer and after a period of scrutiny since joining SHC 2 weeks ago, I note there are basically four categories of women here. Leaving the happily married aside, there are the divorcees, the widows, the “desperate”singles, and the married singles. ”
2 weeks? Goodness me. You have the cheek to categorise our SHC ladies just after two weeks? Why do you leave out the happily married? We don’t need any observer. You sounded more like a sadist?
“Now, what are the trademarks and characteristics of each category of these women, i.e. are they cheerful? Lonesome? Happy-go-lucky? Quarrelsome? Weird? Sporty (don’t play play)? Independent? Aggressive? Dominating? Swinging? Prone to and desirous of love (I love that hunk, if only he would talk to me first)? Hurtful? Are they really desperate (Men, BAH! Who needs them)? Married but single (Yabadabadoo! That louse hubby of mine is out of town for another 2 weeks)? Sensitive (It’s all that man’s fault!)? ”
Look at the adjectives you have had chosen. And the scenario you presumed they are in. So, based on your descriptions, some of the SHC ladies are weird creatures waiting for you to study them?
“You need only to write about your own traits and grievances to dispel any misunderstanding and misgiving about you. Alternatively, you could pick on and write about one of the 4 categories you are most familiar with. That way, we can cooperate and socialise as a happy family henceforth.”
Why should anybody pour out their private grievances to you, or for that matter, to any of us? Everybody has his or her life. Everybody has problems. Are you really happy? Why don’t you tell us about your own traits and grievances so that we can dispel “any misunderstanding and misgiving about you”?
“The whole idea is to better understand them in order that we can tread more carefully when socialising with them in SHC. Your comments, either 2 cents worth or million dollar opinion, are welcomed here. Happily married ladies, your contributions will be invaluable too to cheer up the aggrieved singles (Oh, they got all the good and handsome ones!), and share the laughter with the rest.”
You are a hypocrite. You just contradicted yourself. By posting this sensitive and senseless message, how can you say you want to “tread more carefully when socialising with them in SHC”? Don’t tell us how to cheer up anybody when your statements are already doing the opposite.
“Guys, feel free to chip in your 2-bid worth of remarks too, but please, no vulgarities or name calling . This is a decent forum and the ladies deserve our respect. Agree. Mr. Steven Chan?”
Sometimes, mindless words and phrases are worse than vulgarities. Respect? Where? If this is not hypocrisy, what is?
Steven was quick and wise to dissociate himself from such absurdities (#9). And Tim did not pull his punches (#18). Indeed, I think we should apologise to all the SHC ladies for this disgusting piece of filth.
Daniel Chan
Thanks for “standing Up” for the SHC ladies.
karen
Hi DanielC
“Indeed, I think WE should apologise to all the SHC ladies for this disgusting piece of filth.”
The word WE in ur last sentence had deep implication. Pls don’t involve us, male members who have not commented as cast for his Act.
Hahaha! Chin Boon. You are in deep sh..
He has belittled lady members when he wrote on his profile about slim ladies as dance partners and fat ladies as masseurs. I suppose some members were playing along with him and cheering him on on his postings re slim and fat ladies. So he has become braver and hence his latest posting.
I think he was just speaking tongue in cheek. We should not be too uptight about it. Read it with a pinch of salt. I think he was trying to inject some fun into the forum without realising he was stepping on a minefield.
Whatever it is, I think he got his fair share of “bashing” and hopefully has learnt his lessons and hence I think we should just move on and leave the unpleasant episode behind us. I know I may get my share of bashing for saying this but its alright with me. I’ve seen worst,
Warmest Regards
Caroline Gee
Hi Caroline,
I agree with u, lets this unpleasant episode behind…. u wont get bashing from ppl bcos u hv ur point :)
Cheers
Dear Karen,
You definitely get all the support from the ladies in SHC.
Dont get hurt by silly and crazy people like him.
Cheers
Lin
Chin Boon
You are such a hilarious guy, put up such a hilarious posting and comments on the website
You group all the SHC ladies into 4 categories: Divorcees, Widows, Singles and Merried Singles. May be these are their status, but why categories them in this way??? Any advantages??? You think you are doing this in a great sense of humour? Ha ha
When others started to criticize, then you losed your sense of hurmour, without pondered over what the others comment are, you just complained we are not as humour as you and even tried to push the complaint to the other. Haha haha.
The most funny (or ridiculous) is that in your #13, you asked us to follow your sense of humour and start all over again. Magic, you really are a great hilarious guy! Haha haha haha haha……………..
If you want respect from other people, you may first have to develop respect for yourself.
Treating people with respect makes your world a nicer place to live in, whether it’s at home, at school, or out in your community, SHC ladies are respectful people, who are you to comment? What do you think you are?
You need to learn the following:-
• Don’t insult people or make fun of them. ( You categorized SHC ladies).
• Value other people as what they are.(Who are you to judge SHC ladies?)
• Be considerate of people’s likes and dislikes.(What’s wrong with divorcees, widows, singles or married singles?)
• Be sensitive of other’s feelings.(We are happy the way we are.)
We live in a diverse nation made up of many different cultures, languages, races, and backgrounds. That kind of variety can make all our lives a lot more fun and interesting, but only if we get along with each other & respect who they are. And to do that we have to respect each other. In addition to the list above, here are some ways we can respect people who are different from us.
• Try to learn something from the other person.
• Never stereotype people.
• Show interest and appreciation for other people’s cultures and backgrounds.
• Don’t go along with prejudices and racist attitudes.
For just two weeks, you can know all SHC ladies, you are being short sighted, crazy, hillarious & moron!!!( I don’t like to scold people all my life, this is the 1st time I am saying all this to you.)
The SHC ladies have done you no wrong, you should be grateful to meet up with ladies from different walks of lives, learn from their experiences and their expertise to improve what your life is lacking and catch up, I think you need to buck up with your human elements!!!
Why are you scrutinising the SHC ladies,what is your motive of joing SHC,the SHC ladies have done you wrong? We are respectful people, we have our own abilities and capabilities which you don’t have, why are you being so judgemental about us? What are you up to, you have nothing better to do?
Why don’t you try categorizing your relatives & family females, am sure they will slaughter you & blend you into juice and through it into the sea & feed the dead fish.
Ronald Wie,
Why do you have to apologize for him, is he a coward?
I applaud the SHC gentlemen & respectful SHC ladies for voicing up & standing up for all SHC ladies.
Thank you so much.
Dan
See what Nancy have comments for all the ladies in SHC.
He has offended all the ladies in SHC…
This subject was still in my mind till now. I was just thinking … those ladies who may have just lost their love one , someone who just been thru a hard time of the divorce and those single ladies…
Do u sympathise with them or using hurtful word like lonly , desperate …..or u are using them as a “Subject” to talk and joke on it??
Losting a loved one is already something very difficult to cope, if she will to read such post in SHC … how will she feel ???
Chin Boon … like Nancy said … be sensitive of other’s feeling.
I may not write well like Nancy , but i am happy that Nancy stand up for all the SHC ladies with such good comments.
Thanks u . Nancy
Karen
Aiyo yoo Chin Boon,
After “observing” last friday dance class, you are still unable to differentiate between left & right huh??? Your first move already wrong lah, stepping out with the wrong leg….I guess “2 weeks” is not enough to brush up your steps, give yourself sometime……..so don’t worry, be happy. We are family,I’ve got all my “sisters” & “brothers” with me……we are family, get up everybody and sing….we are family, everyone can see we are together as SHC family. :)
Ah Nee
Hi Chin Boon,
…Er…, sorry, Mr. Steven Chan and Ms Lina Ng for associating you in this instance. It was meant to be a friendly JOKE ???? but apparently you aren’t as brave and outspoken as I thought. I hereby withdraw your names therefrom.
The number of negative comments you received from SHC ladies is testimony that it is NOT a friendly joke after all.
You are treading dangerously on the “FIRING ZONE” and I am sure there are more to come.
You had “STEPPED” on the ladies TAIL.
Thanks Jane for seeing my point. Glad that at least someone agrees with me.
Ah Nee you are so funny. Love that :)
Just wondering what all the fuss is about. Live and let live, to each his own.
Sticks and stones can break my bones but words cant kill me.
What is …kwai-lan kia. ?
Just curious.
Chin Boon,
Not having the opportunity to meet you in person, I have given you the benefit of the doubt! I want to regard you as a gentleman. I was willing to stick out my head for you!
What’s happen, the ladies came and chopped my head off. Two weeks and you dare to ask for the moon. I want to belive you, but you took me for a fool!
According to Ah Nee, you came, you saw, you scrutinise and you have no decency to introduce yourself. Someone from my dance class confronted you and you categorically denied that you are a member of SHC!
What is your agenda since joining us? You have put yourself in a suspicious light, I am sorry to say that you have caused much injustice here and especially to our dear ladies in SHC!
Dan
Danz,
I am not in your friday dance class leh. I have never been to Clementi CC before, where is it? I don’t know what happened in your class??? Did I witnessed what you have mentioned in #45? very strange leh……..
Ah Nee
Hi all,
I hope that I can try to correct the misunderstandings here as I have seen or have lost a number of good friends arising out of such seemingly open mindedness to be more communicative, expressing frankness openly and unknowingly inviting alot of unintended misconceptions of what they are really trying to say.
Nancy and all the agrieved ladies, first try to understand that Chin Boon is a rather unusual guy who had the most feedback on his profile. Being the rather shy, and I am assumming single all his life, he suddenly find the amount of advances from some rather boisterious ladies within the 2 weeks something he never expected when joining the club.
For those not being is his shoes you will not understand, but if you read the forum and his openness and friendliness to reply to each and everyone’s comment in his profile he had been very polite, warm and open. Thus that invited more attraction from the opposite gender who simply had to drag him for karaoke, dance (even when he has never dance) , or for many other activities.
So his impression of SHC ladies(maybe from those that he came to know) fall in his rather frank, honest and sincere expression of the four categories. So can anyone blame him? if all the other shy, reserve and prudents ladies have not met him or he has not met them within the short time?
So to his honest and frank question which he actually invited quite politely to discuss with honest frank opinions witout inviting vulgarities, he is actually trying to resolve what he sees up to now.
So I shall help to answer and hope direct his question to be answered in a rather clear, objective and unbiased view and taking into consideration this is his what he feels for some reasons or other.
Firstly CB,you are right to a certain extend, of only the small group that you have met, they are the more vocal, fun loving ones, who because they have known each other well tend to be able to crack jokes that are normally not told to new comers.
So I guess it has been quite a cultural shock to suddenly meet a group of women who are in this category that you considered as ‘desperate’. To be honest I myself had to adjust to some jokes told by the ladies even being a man exposed to military life for most of my life.
So let us all be more open and try to undestand Chin Boon’s frank intention and his sudden need to overcome this cultural shock of meeting so many ladies in this short two weeks. The way I see it, he is almost like a rock star that is suddenly drawing more atttention than he knows why, just being himself frank, honest and try to oblige people’s request, invitations, etc and finding it hard to handle too.
However Chin Boon, need to realise that in time, after attending more functions that they are really more beautiful ladies, who can be really good friends, helpful and who have gone through so much in life in bringing a better world to their offsprings inspite of the many setbacks they have gone through. These ladies and men deserve to be happier, to make better friendships, share more joys with everyone to add that ray of light in the difficult world most of us have gone through.
So on this note, as Ah Nee says we are all really looking for that friendship to be like brothers and sisters to make our world a better place for everyone, fun, free and easy like children again.
So let us take it that misunderstandings do arise from time to time and we become better friends, brothers and sisters when we can see the other person view and at least try to understand he going through a cultural shock when meeting so many ladies (men no chance yet, me too have not talk to him) in such a short time.
Nancy I shared that same friendliness inviting you for the first meeting, and I hope you can share this same frienliness with Chin Boon and understand his situation a little, as I hate to have to lose another good friend and a golfer as well. Cheers
Hi Ah Nee,
Sorry, I am referring to the Friday dance class. Chin Boon was there sitting in a corner. I would expect that he would have the courtesy to introduce himself. Up to today I have not met him!
Like Ron Wie say, if he is that shy than we have a problem here and he really need our help!
Dan
Hi Ronald Wie,
Don’t ever try to give me all his excuses on his behalf, you are just being selfish,you just don’t want to loose another golfer, i supposed.
So what he is unusual?, so what he got the most feedback for his profile?, so what he is single? does it mean that he can do what ever he likes to hurt & harm all the respectful SHC ladies?
I don’t accept your apologies on his behalf, we SHC ladies expect his apologies.
Why should we be in his shoes, why not the other way round? How do we feel when he passes those unlawful comments & remarks?
Tell me Ronald Wie, if we or anyone of us post in forum and categorize all SHC men, how do you feel?
If he is frank, honest and sincere, he should step up and apologize,where is his sincerity? Where is his honesty?
Hi Nancy
A standing ovation from me to you
Hi Andrew,
Thanks for your standing ovation support, it has to be fair to everyone in this world.
One has to be responsible to what he/she had said and done,
this is a valuable lesson to everyone of us,too, i.e. to think thrice before you leap.
Thanks Andrew & good night!
Ronald Wie
ALl the bullshit & excuses for him.
karen
Hi Chin Boon,
This thread runs counter to SilverHairsClub’s core objective, if you know what it is. In the first place, I dont understand your idea or thinking behind the Post, neither do I understand your responses #13 and #17, which contain many contradicting comments. What are you trying to say?
Think about it, and give us your last one or two comments.
Terence Seah
I had refrained myself from posting as I felt that it would only ignite CB’s ego. His postings even in the other treads deem arrogance and egotistic. Some see him as a shy person. But his postings said otherwise.
After reading more postings from Nancy, Karen and the guys namely Paul Leong, Tim Liu and Daniel Chan who had beautifully penned down my sentiments and am sure with lots of the ladies from SHR. I’m compelled to write and to thank the men and women for standing up for the SHC ladies.
Thanks you so much.
Agnes
Hi Nancy, Karen and all,
Let us think a little and be reserve too in making judgements, especially for those who are new. Unlike what you supposedly say that i am selfish in wanting more golfer friends, I believe everyone can have a share of the SHC cake, and find happiness in your corner of friends.
Take note also that when we attack an argument we also unintentionally also exposed our weaknesses in many areas without knowing it. So it will always be better not to rush to rebut on a moment’s whim, but after sharing your point with someone else.
Last try to make some sense of what CB’s forum is about, as Terence did ask for it, but I think CB has had enough rebuts to maybe keep away to let things cool down.
What if a new member after joining in for the first week is being approached rather strongly by different group of individuals to invest in their funds, share schemes etc. He will definitely find it tough not knowing who to listen to and how to react appropriately without offending anyone.
However CB’s first experience with the forum on his profile was very promising as differing views were discussed with candid jokes and it shows promising start of a matured, objective forum. I myself, feel that the his forum on his profile was an entertaining one and also candid and frank.
So he thought he could share his view of his orientation week of adventures and invite others to share their views on his impression of the ladies in SHC, that he hope could help to understand how to treat the ladies better. I quote what he said”
“The whole idea is to better understand them in order that we can tread more carefully when socialising with them in SHC. Your comments, either 2 cents worth or million dollar opinion, are welcomed here. Happily married ladies, your contributions will be invaluable too to cheer up the aggrieved singles (Oh, they got all the good and handsome ones!), and share the laughter with the rest.
Guys, feel free to chip in your 2-bid worth of remarks too, but please, no vulgarities or name calling . This is a decent forum and the ladies deserve our respect. Agree. Mr. Steven Chan?”
Is the above remarks not a request for help to help him understand the SHC culture better?
Anyway, I do not wish to see anyone else getting hurt over this forum anymore as I think CB’s is also taking a leave of absence, so let us forget about this episode.
As Ah Nee, Caroline and many other ladies that i have talked to , also agreed let us continue to be brothers and sisters in a big family. Even if there are differences the SHC arena is big enough for us all to have our little cosy corners and be happy. Cheers
Chin Boon,
Is not easy to knowing & understand a person character & you using two weeks to observe & classify the SHC’s women into four categories, don’t you think that is naive idea?
Karen,
Sometimes our life is comes with lot of problems, issues that we do not seem to be able to slove. Sometimes it comes with sadness, deception & even tears… but other time it comes full of surprises, happiness, sucess & achievements…
What is important is that future what the day brings & we learn, life does not care about what we want… just care about what we need & don’t bother what people saying & just let our life full of blessings in which you can feel the peace thru our journey….
Cheers!
Hi Ronald…ref #47 and 55
Just 2 questions after your lengthy “alibi”.
How old is CB? Why do you “talk” on his behalf?
Looking at the headline of this post makes me feel shameful. Don’t forget our forum can be read by people anywhere around the world.
Ronald Wie
“Anyway, I do not wish to see anyone else getting hurt over this forum anymore as I think CB’s is also taking a leave of absence, so let us forget about this episode”
From the start CB already hurt all the respectful ladies in SHC … what do u mean don wish to see anyone else getting hurt??
Daniel Chan – u are right , How old is CB ??? 3 yrs old , need someone to talk for him ???
SOmeone who talk so much , is someone who is shy ???? Goodness , I don know why u are siding with him and why he is hiding behind ???
JUdy – Thanks for talking in this post.
I just feel so unfair and sick for someone who is single comment and group the ladies this way.
R u a desperado yourself ??? See how many times u mentioned the word “ladies” in your comments/posting … u here to join the big family or her to find fault with the ladies??
WHy the subject is always on the ladies???
Like Daniel – I feel so shameful to read a post like that in SHC ….my fren who is not a SHC members was scolding this guy who write this post.
We are been critcize and u expect us to keep quiet ??
Ronald – it is not your duty to write on behalf of him or say anything at all. Is he a coward to come out and say something ???
“Even a big fish know when to shut his big mouth up b4 it get into trouble”
Karen
I am here to comfort & console the hurt ladies,hopefully
Life is a journey..we have to walk it graciously no matter what happens,we must be strong.We have dignity & pride.
But as the saying goes..its easier said than done.
I am sorry if i have offended anyone..’tui pu chi’..
ChinBoon..where are you?..by hibernating..u very susah!
U have stirred the air,please clear it..just be gentle
& tactful..im sure we ladies are very forgiving.
Cepat..pergi minta maaf…awak berani buat mesti berani tanggong…apa macam lah!..hhhmmm
This passage is from Ronald Wie’s post:-
“What if a new member after joining in for the first week is being approached rather strongly by different group of individuals to invest in their funds, share schemes etc. He will definitely find it tough not knowing who to listen to and how to react appropriately without offending anyone.”
With this small problem, he already does not know how to solve it but how did he have the capability & ability to just observe the SHC ladies in just 2 weeks and categorize them? That is ridiculous.
May I ask, does this problem got to do in categorizing the SHC ladies with the above matter? What has it got to do with the respectful SHC ladies in the first place? What an excuse?
Judy is right, to know a person is to understand the person with your sincere & truthful heart, not to classify/categorize or label them but to nurture the trust.
Karen is right,he who have said those words that hurt the SHC ladies should be responsible for what he has done, though things have been done cannot be undone but where is the sincerity?
The respectful SHC ladies are from all walks of life, some may have gone through with pain & miseries, some may be going through trauma, hurdles & obstacles to have better lives, some may have just recovered from pain & wounds, why do we need to put salt on their wounds? Why bring them miseries? Why categorize & classify them, why not have empathy on them and help them to become happier people? Why critisize us?
Hi Nancy M Tan,
I gather your good experience of SHC and the wonderful founder, Terence has been spoilt by the newbie Mr Tan CB. If so don’t you think that he has been chastised sufficiently? If not and you think that he might still be around to ‘torture’ you poor ladies, does it mean you have to ‘surrender’ yourself to his ‘memory and presence’ such that you have to cut yourself off from the activities of SHC? Isn’t that like surrendering even though you and the ladies have won the battle?
For all you know the said Mr Tan might even be considering his resignation given his ignominious entry. (Conjecture only, at this stage)
Does it mean that if Mr Tan has made a mistake, he cannot be forgiven?
You are free to continue or leave but to leave under these circumstances seems like an act of martyrdom. I would urge you to reconsider your option. You can leave anytime, but if you publicly declare it now, you might have to consider your pride when you next change your mind. And that would be an unwarranted complication.
Cheers. You have many friends here.
Hi Nancy major Tan,
I heard the statement before ‘This is my last entry’ and I feels so sad! Why let him get away with it? There are so many men here willing to stand by the ladies.
Not having to meet you in person, I gather that you are a woman of substance! Let’s be magnaminous and let him explain himself or offer a sincere apology!
In this world we are bound to meet different character who manifest their obnoxious behaviour here. Let’s be strong and learn to take it in our strides.
I believe that there are some people who though outwardly showing themselves to be something are actually inwardly very insecure and needing a lot of attention!
I for one was out to defend him without having met him. When I found out later that he was not truthful and lying when confronted, I want to have nothing to do with him!
So, Nancy please reconsider your stand and let’s together make SHC a beautiful place to mingle and share and cherish good things to come!
Danz
Hi Charles,
Thanks for your post and your clarification.
Nope, Charles, I am not cutting myself off from all the activities of SHC and I have not yet to “surrender” myself to that Mr Tan CB’s ‘memory and presence’,I am just feeling upset over the issue. I wish to stay away to reflect & solitute for awhile, it is my character & hope you understand. We have infact won the BATTLES that i know.
I am sure the Founder of SHC has good intention of setting up the club is to allow people of all walks of life to have a friendly and harmonious environment to enjoy their silver years with beautiful memories and meaniningful activities. A place where we all share our life experiences & expertise and help one another to have better & meaningful lives and not to pin point others, a place we all should respect each other for what they are or who they are, a place for those who need to “breath” fresher air and to support them emotionally when they do need and not by criticising them.
Well, no one is perfect in this world, every body makes mistakes but need to be responsible to what you have done.Be brave to admit the mistake that you have committed and apologize accordingly.
The post that he had put in SHC website has already shown that he does not shown respect not only to the SHS ladies, indirectly, he does not respect the Founder, the EOs & the rest of the members as well, this is a terrible mistake he has done making fun of people’s dignity, in addition, many people all over the world may be reading all the posts in the website, why let this person abuse the meaningful website? We all deserve an apology from him especially the respectful SHC ladies.
Well,I am glad I have met you, thanks for sharing.
Have a good night!
Hi all,
Deva ju again, sad to say, but this time innocent parties not really involved got caught in the cross fire.
Sad to hear this has to happen when all that the founders of SHC wanted was for all of you to share time as brothers and sisters. What else to say, just hope things get better in future. Cheers.
On first reading of CB’s post, I say to myself: Oh Gosh! CB is really something. I can either join the firing squad or dismiss it cause my time is too precious to be dragged into an argument.
On second reading, I think if it’s a topic for a school debate, wow, we would need very good debaters with substance.
Having thought about it more, I think CB needs (or it is want) attention and we have certainly provided it with 65 replies incl. mine. Have we fallen into his trap?
Lastly, my first impressions of CB during the cycling event is, he’s friendly and he had offered me his seat which I had politely declined but nevertheless appreciated.
All said, I think all of us have different perceptions of things hence differing opinions n responses. Yes, we should try always to be mindful but let’s remember we are in SHC for fun right? I hope I have not joined the wrong Club!
….n oh, better cover myself. m not speaking up for CB. As a recruit, i think he should tread carefully like i m. we don’t have silver hairs for nothing right? Ha ha ha……
Peace to All!
Hi guys and ladies,
Some of you have sms’d or emailed me to take down this post because the topic is sensitive and it hurts the human feeling. I did not do so, as I felt it was necessary for opinions to be expressed.
I am definitely not qualified to give any advice on this topic. But I hope to encourage you to look forward, and see that there is always a bright new picture ahead of us, whatever our marital status. Don’t allow anybody to make you sad or angry.
Remember, SHC has only one main objective; and that is to provide a platform for all of us to meet new and more friends. As a club, we are new. But, I must say many of us can feel the closeness and support among new and old members.
I shall close this Post on the coming Sunday.
Terence Seah
Hi Dan Huang,
Thanks for your post, I thank you for your encouragement & compliments.
Thank you so much for the SHC men out there to stand by the SHC ladies, thank you Dan Huang.
Though I have not met you, the fact that you are one of the good men that stand by the ladies, I applaud you.
Yes, I agree with you, we are here to enjoy our lives, meeting up new and old friends,learn from one another and make SHC a beautiful place to come by.
Take care & have a good rest.
Hi all,
Let’s FORGIVE Chin Boon and MOVE ON from here.
And remain PEACEFULLY as brothers and sisters.
United We stand. After all, None of us is PERFECT
Life is Short, play Hard.
Hi Nancy,
Glad to hear you are looking on the brighter side of rgw earth now and we can now learn this new phrase as brothers and sisters, sharing more good times ahead.
As I said I did not like to lose any friends especially those I feel are in more need of SHC than some of us may know.
I symphatise more with CB as i can understand how a single feel being somewhat in the same postion now but you are quite lucky to have 5 beautiful children close to you.
When I first join SHC I had just retired and was totally alone and finding SHC was such a great joy that I really feel bad when someone loses it in any way.
Since you like to pen poems, let me share you the song I wrote here a little at that time when Terence invited all to pen, as it went,
” Sure as the sun will set,
and as our youth starts to fade,
Friends and families will drift afar,
the future seems cold and dark,
Everday we seemed to lose,
Whatever we done so far,
Nothing is like before
Values change each passing day
Chorus:
Where do we go from here
How can we comfort our cold
Where do we find friends that will hear
Of silverhairs and of growing old,
So if you want some cheer
Just like the breeze from the sea,
You are always welcome here
Come join our SHC ,
.. and so on, (can find the rest under SHC song)
I hope you know what Deva Ju, means, know, about being single and alone. Who is the one in more need ??
So let us be brothers and sisters, fast to forgive and easy ,and friendly always.
Ps, – will sing this song for you to hear, if you believe that i am sincere and understand why i stand for the lonely.
Cheers
Huh…we all make mistakes whether black hairs or silver hairs … or no hair for some. What’s important; an apology so that all can happily forgive and move on…believe me! Chin Boon, it’s helps to apologise instead of closing up with oneself. Just speaking from experience … some of my past mistakes were much worst. Goodnite!
I fully agree with Ivan.
Chin Boon, I am sure a sincere apology from you will bring a closure to this post.
After that, continue to participate actively in SHC activities and get to know the members. You may feel awkward and uncertain initially because of this episode.
In SHC, you do not need to know the background of the members. Be sensitive if you sensed that the other party is not ready to answer certain questions. Do not probe. As your friendship progresses and they find they can click with you, they will share with you certain aspects of themselves.
I hope no one leaves this “Family” because of this post or any other post. Like Dan, I also remember the couple who decided to leave after their one and only post due to some insensitive comments made by members. It is very sad.
Hi RonW
I’ve heard of “deja vu” – which means : “have (already) seen” in French. But “Deva Ju” which means (according to you) “know about being single and alone”?….uhmm….interesting. Wat language is dat? Care to amplify? – cos I’m very curious lah.
Thks in advance.
Hi Terrence,
Thanks for closing this post this coming Sunday. Cheers.
Hi Lily and all
I have always thought of ‘deja vu’ meaning have to relive the same experience and going through the agony of it again. I was describing the time when I retired and left home then finding SHC. But then I left to do that voluntary work in Khao Lak living alone in a foreign land without having any friends that was when the whole experience hit again, so that is what I meant, ‘deja vu’.
So you know how many episodes we had before in the past due to misunderstandings, Ed and that couple left SHC just when they were really getting excited to know so many nice people here and were starting to contribute a lot in terms of ideas ,etc. Cheers
Standing ovation to all SHCians. Your feedback is very commendable. Just a gentle reminder we should not over react. Congratulation to Mr Chin Boon too for being a ‘superstar’. U managed to attract so many fans within a short period of time. If let say u need a dancer in your next performance to complement yr stage show just request it in your next posting cos SHC is never lacking of talents nor shortage of volunteers.
Thank you.
Rgds
Rose White
Hello Terence,
I joined SHC a few months ago and due to my exhaustive work schedules , have not been able to participate in any of the activities just yet .
I hope to join soon and have the opportunity to meet the founding member of SHC and from what I read, a very wise one too.
With your timely intervention in this matter, hope this matter comes to a close and everyone just let bygones be bygones and move on to continue to enhance the spirit of SHC.
All the best to all.
Andrew
Hi all….here is my 2bit worth of feedback….I have been reading with great interest on this hot topic….Although I am quite an inactive member of SHC and like to stay low profile (u know …duck when arrows are being thrown?) I agree with Daisy #65 and many others. We are a social group and let us be that…sociable and gracious…(I am no saint but try la…)
I am sure, at our age (ahem…) we all have very different opinions and perspective…Like Men from Mars and Women from Venus….Everybody have their right to their own opinion and everybody have the right to say it or post it… but CB was brave enough (or suicidal?) to put up this post…and start some fireworks…boy was it hot !!!
Whatever it is, it is just an opinion….let’s take it personally and let it blow out of proportion and hey if we don’t like it, IGNORE IT…
I am sure everybody wants to have their piece said but at the end of the day we should try to get along, no matter what….ok I am prepared for arrows to shoot my way now…
Ciao…Have a great day !!
Hi Mr President of SHC
You knew that the topic is ‘sensitive’ and it hurts human feelings, I dont understand why delay and chose to close it on this coming Sat/24Aug instead. I wish you close the post soonest and let the matter rest. Done let more angers coming in to hantam our poor new member Mr CB.
SHC has one main objective, meet new and more friend.
Have a good day ahead………
Peter Goh
Correction….It should read as “Let’s NOT take it personally” hehehe….type too fast….TQ
Hi RonW
———–
“Already seen” is the literal translation in French for deja vu, which implies “experienced before” or as you put it : “relive an experience” whether its an agonising one or otherwise.
Only the ‘oldie SHC members’ remember the past incidents of similar scenario as this one. The ‘SHC newbies’ are not aware that keep going on pressing the issue will lead to a repeat of history itself – indignant resignation.
Dear fellow SHCians,
———————-
Please, time-out. Enough is enough. There is no need to get so worked up. Life is too short – so, live and let live OK.?? Pleeaassee….??
Agree with you Lily, whole heartedly :)
Warmest Regards
Caroline Gee
Just three words to describe him.Hi is a MCP.
Scroll to the top. Look at the headline and look at the picture. It is simply not fair. Isn’t it?
If there was a contest for the thread with the most hits within the shortest time, Chin Boon stand a good chance of getting the top prize. I think this is all he’s after. He’s treating this website as a blog. I agree with Daniel Kang that he is a MCP.
Hi Daniel Kang,
Nice to meet you here,by the way what is MCP? Sorry being curious.
Daniel Chan2610,
I am absolutely agreed with you. Thanks for that.
Ronald Wie,
I am luckier than that bad person,yes of course,simply because I don’t hurt people’s feelings,you want to sympathise whoever you like is up to you but pls don’t compare my goodness with that guy.
Let me ask you, I am not satisfied with the way you put it, does it mean that those singles can do whatever to criticize people like me?
I will be very appreciated if you stop comparing myself with that person.
Nancy
I shared the same feeling as u – being single give him the right to hurt other???
MCP is man chauvinist – Daniel Kang – did I get that right ??
Lydia – MCP should be claiming his top prize soon.
Good Night … all ladies , WE WON …
Many thanks to all the male supporters.
Good Night
karen
2ND LAST (PENULTIMATE) WORD…THE VOICE OF REASON…THE VOICE OF OBJECTIVITY…THE VOICE OF FORGIVENESS…THE VOICE OF RECOCILIATION.
It will be easy to ride on the bandwagon of a lynch mob(how ungracious we can be) and go with the majority(hence popular)and add more fuel to the raging fire within our hearts and crucify,chastise and bully our new member into submission and kick a man when he is down.At least the referee(AH TER is giving him a standing 8 count to reply).Ref #82 to #86 must we rub it in and claim a victory (how hollow)for ladies.What have you won?…the demise of a member in the SHC community who will silently wilt and ride out in the sunset never to be seen or heard off again.Is this what we want.I am sure this is not what our founder wants…hence the right of reply till 24Aug.Since Chin Boon is keeping quiet and probably resigned to his fate of ostracisation by the iron willed ladies let me take up the cudgels and try to be his pro bono quack defense lawyer.
My opening statement will be “let she who has not sinned cast the 1st stone”Is there anyone among you who has not committed a mistake , a gaffe or a faux paus like Jade Seah
in their entire life?If you think you are perfect and have the right to send our new member into exile and oblivion than let me try and prove otherwise.
Granted Chin Boon’s debut foray in the forum leaves much to be desired , was untimely , callous and lacking in profundity despite its profiligacy with his outrageous choice of words.However I detected only 2 parts which needed improvement ; the word ‘desperate’ and the phrase “Are they for real?”I don’t think we men will like it when we called desperados as you were called in ref #58 …Karen Thio.Ditto for the ladies.Your pathetic attempt at tongue in cheek humour, trying to invoke discussions on this subject,teasing though well intentioned and well meant has fallen flat.If you think I am throwing you to the she wolves …don’t worry…your defense is coming up soon.To be fair you mentioned happy and grumpy in the same sentence but everybody only takes the worst and choose to focus on the unpleasant.On hinsight your survey would have been better if you had mentioned the happy singles and other good aspects other than the happily married.In addition if the survey had included the men you will not receive so much flak almost amounting to nuclear fallout of profound raw emotions from “Hell had no fury like a woman scorned’.
To give a full blooded unreserved, unconditional apology will tantamount to capitulation under pressure which I will not recommend.The charge of murder in the 1st degree(death in the forum by lynch mob will not stick as no agenda and no pre-meditation of resultant consequences).However I think you should plead guilty to manslaughter(no malice intended) but you did cause angst,anger,ill feelings and resentment among the women folk in SHC as a end result(damage is done.I would apologise for an unfortunate choice of words regarding the term “desperate” and also apologise that my words were interpreted as as offensive.You seem to be be an enigma and the testimonies in person and the your profile seems to contradict your persona in the forum that people have concluded in the forum.I think(judging from the response of older members in the forum as well)you deserve a 2nd chance to be contrite and provide a limited apology as I have suggested.
Here’s your defense for what it’s worth.
Ref #1 Tim Liu and ref #2 Ronald Koh
They did not add fuel to the fire but merely predicted
avalanche of vitrol coming your way.
Ref #7 Paul Leong…what have you contributed to SHC?
Is this a fair question?Shall I ask you the same question?
I am quite new myself but i have neither heard of you or seen you…maybe I have been sleeping?
Ref # 10 Ann Lim …”siao liao ” name calling without backing up with facts is the easiest cop out.What if the tables are turned and people called you “siao char boh”
Ref #30 Karen Thio … an apology for all the ladies in SHC…I don’t think all the ladies agree with you.Some of them have not kept quiet and asked to give him a 2nd chance
despite his faux paus.
Ref #45 Danz
You should clear any misunderstanding privately with him even though you may have did what he claims you did but if you did it explain why.I do believe that you did not have a sinsister agenda for doing so.If you need to contact him do let me know at email insiders111@yahoo.com.sg.
Ref #49 Nancy Major Tan…calling his actions as unlawful.
I wonder which part is deemed unlawful and what is the lawful charge you are accusing him of?
Ref #68 Stevie Wonder…even Steven has forgiven you …so have some of the senior ladies …why can’t the rest do so if you are contrite.In this case silence is not golden.
Ref #78 Peter Goh
Luckily you are not our Presidente,despite his own reservations and mine as well he is willing to give Chin Boon a 2nd chance to respond before 24Aug.The Wise One(got ESP as well and waiting for my moderation and intervention
before he closes this post) I believe is more forgiving and believe you me I have done some boo-boos myself and have been forgiven by some seniors at least.Remember the Matchmaker?(Intro of a non member),Vietnam Skirmish,Pushing my company profile,long-winded horse racing and long winded soccer and 15 line limit on the last 2 subjects.By exposing my own cobwebs and blemishes I hope You will be inspired to come out of hibernation(good face saving excuse…you were busy with work and traumatised by their vehement responses)
and face the music and come out of this debacle slightly wiser and more streetsmart and still be true to yourself…wrinkles,pimples,warts,scars and the rest of our imperfections.
Ref #82 Daniel Kang calling him a MCP is an example of name calling.Did he insult any SHC lady directly.In what exact way was he chauvinistic?We may disagree with his choice of words but that in itself does not entitle us to sling mud at him under a vaque and broad label
I think your friendship is worth salvaging (hence my expose`
on the imperfection and the ugliness in the various responses)Do not let Ronald’s , Charles ‘s and the rest of the moderate ladies( and guy’s) efforts be wasted.
The new vitrol will probably be spat in my direction (that’s what friends are for…and I believe I can take the heat and all the phelgm) for sticking my neck out(only partially) for you.Hope you are worth it and respond as I have suggested as I have stepped on quite a few dainty toes in coming to your defense .At least do it for the sake of the more understanding ladies in SHC….who knows One day you may end married to one than I deserve a kiss(anywhere she chooses) from your new bride or alternatively an ang pow from you.
The Defense rests…I hope you will be the last witness for the Defense.Than Terence can hang a poster declaring this post as R.I.P.
P.S.If you are coming down to Hans at the next monthly meeting we can unveil some SHC culture for you to peek into .I would be more than happy to show you my winning coupons and discuss soccer(seems a safer subject for your health) even though we may agree to disagree.If my EPL FORECAST enjoys a reversal in fortunes I may even buy(just an excuse) you a drink!
Your IMPERFECT PERFECTIONIST.
Patrick Khoo
I prefer u to talk about “horse racing Tips” la , this is another load of shit like Ronald Wie .
karen
Hi all,
I like the ‘Art of Being Well’ that was sent to me and I hope we can use it for the very purpose it was written, to help us live well, healthily and happily.
1. Speak your feelings – but carefully, humbly too, as what we say reflects what we are too.
2. Make Decisions – to find a solution not just to retaliate
3. Dont live by appearance – it is good to really have feelings, to feel sad or angry if need to be, rather than just to pretend,
4.Learnt to accept, other views and also be accepted by others of your views,
5. Trust – that good will come from any arguments, breakups,etc ( Singapore is a good example , multiracial,etc but we trust we can live happily)
6. Do not live life sad – as Maggie Teo said ‘try dont to personalise’ also internalise remarks that meant in general ( Maggie am surprised you are reading the forum at all, however a good unbiased view too) – it is our right, duty to ourselves to be happy, find some humour in every part of our life even in sad times and find that happiness, like the silver lining even in a thunderstorm.
Nancy, and all if anyway, I have cause you any hurt, my apologies and let us be like brothers and sisters happily enjoy everything under the sun like children, cycling, bladig, camping, dancing, traveliing, talking,etc.
Have a good weekend, will be going up country, mountain climbing enjoying fresh air, life and guess it with our silverhaired brothers and sisters. Cheers
Hi Patrick
Quote #87
It will be easy to ride on the bandwagon of a lynch mob(how ungracious we can be) and go with the majority(hence popular)and add more fuel to the raging fire within our hearts and crucify,chastise and bully our new member into submission and kick a man when he is down.
Unquote
Pat…THIS is exactly what you have been doing, as far as horse-racing tipping is concerned. You, for that matter most tipster, all go for the same favourite horse even though it is backed down to 6 for a WIN and 5 for a PLACE. So what is wrong when normal and rational people think alike and speak their mind? Attempting to go on the contrary when the stark reality is before you is suicidal, am I right? I m sure you will not do that for horses becoz $$$ is concerned.
Everybody is entitled to his/ her opinion and I think we have had the opportunity to express ourselves. We don’t need a learned judge to give us the verdict. If anything, this issue has given us a fair assessment of the writer from the way he/she writes. And quantity of words definitely does not equate quality.
I hope this serves as a reminder to all, that when you whack gracefully on the keyboard, be prepared to be whacked gracelessly by readers when nonsense go online and on-air.
Pat what is your parting shot for CB, if any, before the curtain is down?
What is your tip for Sat?
Hi Pat,
“KUDOs”~~to a Spirited Defence of the ACCUSED!
Cheers,
Sue
Hi Patrick Khoo / others,
Although this is another long winded comments, it mades good sesne to read.
I MUST say this time Patrick Khoo, you are an EXCELLENT judge in the making.
You sit on the fence watching ,analyzing ,scrutinizing the rebuttals on both sides of the debate and SACRIFICE so much of your TIME and PATIENCE to hear from both sides and not to be judgemental prematurely.
You consider both Chin Boon and other views before you give your own verdict and this I think is FAIR JUSTICE.
And so BROTHERS and SISTERS lets be more FORGIVING and MOVE ON from here while waiting and giving him for a chance for Chin Boon to speak out as what Terence has giving him until this coming Sunday b4 he lets this post R.I.P.
Hi Patrick Khoo,
A very commendable assessment of the situation! What you try to do was giving your views of the various responses to the post.
I have in various reply have praise his conduct and gave him the benefits of the doubt! To ask me to write to him by email is out of the question!
I don’t know whether you have met CB. Let’s me relate what happen last Friday at the dance class. CB was there sitting in a corner, I was there for three hours and there was no effort on him to introduce himself. When confronted by one of the dancer he denied being a member of SHC.
How do you want me to intrepret that. There was complain from some dancers that he was scrutising them! what have he to hide?
I gather that CB was at the cycling and at the MAS karoeke session. He already know some of the members. Is there a need to be secretive?
Will CB care to explain himself? I am sure that all of us here are willing to forgive and forget!
I have not met CB, and do not him. But I am going to stick my neck out for what it’s worth.
When I read CB’s post, I was quite aghast at his choice of words, terminologies and subject matter. Whatever his intentions were, there was way too much room for negative interpretation. To some, his post could bring back painful memories of failed relationships and regret. That he zeroed in on SHC ladies only made it worse.
Yet, on rereading CB’s post, I felt that the negative aspects (mentioned above) of his post were not made with the intention to disrespect, insult or cause hurt to the ladies in SHC. As difficult as it would seem to think this of an adult, I felt that the foolish choice of words, etc was the result of naivety.
I have a former schoolmate who just does/did not know how to interact with the opposite sex. He was even too shy to start a conversation with a lady and behaves painfully awkwardly when he is cornered into doing so. He is still single today.
Why one should be so is another matter. I have a suspicion that coming from a boys’ school and then being in an all-male working environment for years has something to do with it.
If CB had intentionally shown disrespect, made uncalled for insults. etc to fellow SHCians, I would give him a fair opportunity to mend his ways. If he persists in his ways, I think my past record in SHC will suggest that I will not hesitate to pull his pants down to give him a good spanking. But not in this case.
While I did expect some adverse reaction to CB’s post, I do feel that some of the personal attacks, given the circumstances, were a bit over the top. If he made remarks you strongly disagree with, it would be just as effective to rebut the remarks.
I have a strong suspicion we won’t be hearing or seeing CB anymore. Nobody wins in such situations. I would rather he learns from this episode, and stays.
Ron Koh
Ref #88 Karen Thio
I remember you as a sane person(as sane as Ronald and me).
Chin Boon must have touch a raw nerve to get you so hot and bothered. Ouch ! …Don’t take things personally.
I recall you as handy person to share conversations with and definitely not crafty(do you like Kraft cheese by any chance?) despite your passion for handicrafts.
Those who throw boomerangs should make sure they back it up with statements and facts to support their argument and it might come back to haunt them and expose their own shortcomings.Example #37 Lin Chuah by calling him silly and crazy without backing up the statements.What if I were to call you and everybody else silly and crazy just because I disagree with them.Is this right?
Let’s come back to the load of shit…you don’t have to agree or disagree with everything I ‘ve pointed out in the forum but surely it can’t be all BULLSHIT totally with no rationale without any pearls of wisdom.I hope you will go through the entire pile of SHIT with a fine tooth comb and if macro analysis use your sharp claws(just teasing you…luckily your name is not Catherine) and tell me which specific part you disagree with and tell me why.
To put me on par with the senior member Ronald Wie alias The Great Baba,alias the objective,rational and Wise One is a great Honour.
As I have have said earlier I am not the least in agreement with Chin Boon’s views put foward but surely a faux pas(spelt wrongly previously) should not be heckled so ungraciously that he has to step down from the SHC arena.Can you forgive him if he apologies in the manner I have suggested.He is probably joining Yogi Bear and join a new fratenity called “recluse”If you can search your heart to forgive him in the forum on the proviso that he is contrite and responds as I have suggested that I am sure he will turn around and respond.If that happens I will be touched and honoured to buy you both a drink and sit at the same table for 5 minutes and play Mr.Peacemaker.
Ref #90 Daniel Chan and #92 Steven Chan
I never asked to be judge…I only applied for Defense Counsel position.In the end it’s is up to the SHC jury to forgive you provided you respond.Believe me there are many
who are ready to welcome you back even Danz despite your gaffe.Daniel I will address your horse racing concerns on my horse thread this weekend when Singapore races are back!
Ref #93 Danz
Sorry I did not put it clearly but I meant for him to contact you through me.
Attn Chin Boon do contact me and I will try to extricate you from this mess with your pride(a little dented) but with your dignity still intact.The drink offer is still on …maybe even be your punching bag and get whacked for loosing soccer predictions.
For those who want to take further pot shots at Chin Boon or myself please be specific and judicious in the points that you want to raise and not do it just with emotions.One good thing about this post…now I know who the early risers are…Ha Ha Ha!
Whatever happens it is not the end of the world.Let us all learn from this episode to be more tolerant of each other’s shortcomings and help each other grow within the SHC community and make it a better place to live life to the fullest be it as friends,companions,lovers or as marraige
partners!
Originally, I didnt want to comment this thread but I do find myself identifying with Ronald(#94)’s post. I saw the post before any comments were made & had thought ‘wow, this is extremely controversial. I’m surprised that the moderator allowed it.’ But I figured that maybe the club thrives on stuff like this (generating discussion & interaction). I also figured that maybe being new like me, CB was trying to understand better the people who made up the club. (although I admit I am curious why he zoomed in on the ladies).
Like Ronald, I had expected strong reactions & can understand it to a certain extend (due to the provacative language used). On the other hand, as a new member, I was also shocked by the violence of some of the replies. Understandable, I guess, but still really scary.
This said, I do agree that CB should apologise to the ladies because whether intentionally or unintentionally, he did hurt their feelings.
Chin Boon
I hope that this doesnt scare you off. You sound like an interesting person to get to know & hope to meet you in the future.
Hello Chin Boon,
Wow, Now if I read you right, you are bewildered! I am as well.
Fact is it has always puzzled me why Men has to categorize Women. The other puzzle is Men too is categorized similarily as well. Yet the anger, upset and heat are missing. Why is this so? What are the missing links.
Often I’ve asked my hubby as conversation piece, and whenever someone we know whom we thought is of good family materials, yet he/she is still One,
On Ladies, my hubby comment always will be “If I cannot understand my wife, what can I say”
On Men, and this always irk me, “he has his reason(s), I’m too naive to understand”. Men!! eh!!
Personally, and I alone, apologies not needed. Yet I continue to be curious on the “missing links”
Could you after a longer sojourn with SHC, could you repost a closure. If Post is too sensitive, can you share your presumely untarnished, unblurred wrap up in private.
Actually catergorizing is everywhere and everyday. The ones we voted into power is marvellous with it. They never fail to amuse me. Our “age” being sensitive is catergorized so as to avoid age being mentioned. Remember we were once term “elderly”. Not too nice a term. Then came the “young old”. It was hilarious. We neither young nor old. So we became “Senior”. Today we are the “active aging” Oh my! they dont want us anymore. Here I am aging, yet I’m told to age active – See what I meant. I’ll be gone fast. But if we active aging and be prolonged, will there be a prized catergory of “Mentor”?
We have to be slotted somehow otherwise how else are programs, policies to be appropriately designed, reviewed and enhanced. And for Our money to be dispersed wisely.
A little bit of background. I did play cupid in the past but stopped completely except for non-SHC age people. I came across both gender truly desirous of becoming One. My view then and now is both gender are desperate. Just that despite the progress of Women it continues to be a Man’s world. Such that the word “desperate” leans towards Women. And we are up in arms over it. Its such an old-fashioned, totally overused and misused word.
Surly among all the English experts within SHC a better word could be coined. You never know you be famous for it. Just note the way our city is re-branded. The “garden city” so old fashioned and so wrong!! Then came a City within a Garden. Its lively.
Often as food for thought, If all those Women in India whose families burdened by Dowry, and ill treated, mistreated over Dowry, If only Women unit and turn their backs on Marriage, now, who will be Desperate? Men?
Today I am still at a loss whether this development is perfect. I truly hope among us SHCians, it will happen and you come share with me. One of my friends, after searching, she found her constant companion. Constant as in this is mine, someone to go movies with; social functions you need to attend but cannot be alone: those occasions where a man by your side sort of added weight to your position (is this a Chinese culture?); someone to wail, cry your pentup emotions on. Yet end of day each return to the comfort of their respective nests. Their 3Cs intact. I’ve asked why continue such for two decades. We are happy! That’s the cruz of it all.
Have a pleasant day,
S.K.
I suppose what make this website so vibrant is that members are not afraid to speak their mind, share their thoughts and take a stand. Kudos to all the ladies who voiced up in this thread for what they thought were improper, impolite and inconsiderate.
Of course, some did it in fury, some in humor, while others in wisdom, etc.; nevertheless, these were expressions of our members.
I think the question for us now is that how do we maintain this vibrancy without leaving person/people hurt and stay away from SHC. Perhaps the site moderator can play a bigger role in the screening of obnoxious post and members exercise some “restrains” in their comments.
It will be a win-win for us if Chin Boon and others come back and join us. Otherwise, it will be a good lesson for all.
Patrick
Your comments make no sense to me at all.
Even my little boy know how to say “sorry” when he know he is in the wrong … and I believe all parents discipline their kids this way.
Soooo , with so many comments on this post …. which “hole” is the little mouse hiding ???
To me – it is still a load of shit by u & Ronald Wie
karen
Patrick
If CB got the gut to post this “subject” , he should have the gut to apology to the ladies after so many comments from them.
If CB apology earlier ,I believe the topic will close as well.
Knowing that he make a wrong comment and now he is hiding.
Under which “category” should I put him in ?????????????????
“Useless” , “gutless” or ……. is he happy I categrise him this way or I am calling him names??????
Being a single man all his life till today don give him the right to group woman like that.
Karen
Ronald Wie
Your writing has become very cheem. Good job. Keep it up.
Ah Nee
I also want to go for the bungalow thingy and sing “We are family” together with Ronald, you and all others who care to join in heee!
Caroline Gee
Despite all my efforts I can almost feel the steam coming out of your pussycat cat ears…still hunting for you mouse.
So you still think my entire load of reasoning is a load of shit and people can call each other siao,loco loco (Tagalog for crazy),MCP without supporting facts .Than I think discussion in this forum will go to the dogs (even get personal and be called the female equivalent) will degenerate into mayhem ,chaos and one day into slander,libel and disaster and scandal.Is this where we want SHC to go…I think not.
Name caliing is fun till the mouse bites back.Even pussycats after being chased up the tree will turn and bite back the dog that is chasing it.Name calling will not get anywhere throw a pebble…replied by stone…tit for tat reply by a rock than by a boulder.I went through all this on the Vietnam skirmish…with Stevie Wonder..we both learnt great lessons,suffered black eyes(metaphorical pain) and lost our credibility and honour in the process but like Tim I hope we have mellowed (at least there is an improvement) and there is a sincere and genuine ceasefire especially after counselling from the Big Bossman,alias Ah Ter,alias Chief Sitting Bull.Even Daniel Chan and Tim have disagreed with my views and though we don’t kiss we always make up and respect each other’s opinions and reason it out,We even buy drinks for each other without counting who buys more often.
Can’t you do likewise and shoot straight arrows(most of it without the emotional element were spot on) and I even agree
with most of your comments.It’s only the over the top name calling and vaque stuff like load of sheet that I don’t agree with.
You still have not replied to my question…”Will you forgive him if he apologises in the manner I have suggested”
Do respond and answer this question.Commonsense and the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation have set in after my comments and a few other senior(I am only a junior)SHC stalwarts like Ron KOh.I hope you can at least see it half way and keep cool.The nice , polite , pleasant ,chatty and helpful Karen I’ve met and spoke with before and the one in the forum seems like 2 completely different persona beyond recognition.It is hard to forget the injustice and trauma you have suffered but for the future growth of SHC I hope you will tone down the adrenalin.Can you have the guts to be magnanimous?
Hi Patrick,
While I think Tan CB should not have made that posting. I also think that all these subsequent postings, by both the pro and anti-Tan CB camps have not helped much.
Instead of just saying their piece, they have managed to inflame themselves and are now out for blood. Of course Tan CB is not around now after making his posting and all you do-gooders and so-called peacemakers are just lining up to be gutted.
I think all that needs to be said has been said and it leaves the original author to respond as no amount of supporting postings or pro-Tan CB’s postings will be adequate. Any more postings here will only polarise the 2 sides with more calls for bloodshed. If he does not respond then the aggrieved groups can only simmer bitterly and spoil the ambience and environment and contaminate the atmosphere.
The unfortunate conclusion is that the aggrieved groups will still be bitter while the Initiator will be laughing at the ruckus he has made. He’s probably enjoying his golf in Indonesia. So who do you think will be the loser?
I am not interested in joining a club/group with a bitter history, ready to poison the next generation of members.
So I suggest to leave things to settle themselves as they will. There will always be peacemakers and trouble makers and both always get what they deserve, as surely as water finds its own level.
I hope things can return to normal soon.
Cheers
Patrick #102:
I joined SHC less than a year ago. That makes me a junior too.
Ron Koh
Charles #103:
So long as this thread is active, there will be people wanting to share their thoughts. Right or wrong, that is the beauty of SHC.
By the way, I sent you a number of emails re the proposed Thailand/Siem Reap trip, which were returned. The advance party returned from Siem Reap a long time ago, with lots of photos.
Ron Koh
my ctc hp nbr is given in ref#87 and email as well.Do drop me a line or email with your contact nbrs or get hold of Danz or Terence.They will know how to get hold of me.
Thinking of planning a backpacker’s(slightly better accomodation than lowest backpack lodgings) fiesta with good food and via light sleeper luxury train to Nha Trang during Monsoon period (but don’t intend to swim )plus taking in
Ghe Ngo flying incandescent paper lanterns festival at Cantho.Period from 08Nov to 16Nov 08.Will start new post when details in.Also staying in HCMC for 3 days and 2 nights.Interested? Follow Ref#103 Charles Chua’s noble and relevant advice…declare unilateral CEASEFIRE.
Hi RonK,
I did not received them. I will sms you my e-mail address. You must have sent to the wrong e-mail or the wrong Charles
Once again I’d like to reiterate what was mentioned in my previous blog – (Ronald Wie – Forum General: “The Art of Being Well”):
SOCIAL GRACES – lets practise that. Don’t take things personally. (#86: There’s no war/battle so nothing is “….WON!”). Isn’t it scary, how this brings out the true character/colors of the individual????
Lets join hands, go chase that rainbow & find that pot of gold together – HARMONIOUSLY. Don’t let the sun set on us this way…..
Ciao.
Florence
Champion writer in this post is, once again and indubitably, Senor Patrick Khoo. Monseur Khoo, you never failed to amaze me with how much you can write – and you do write well – and how incorrigible you’re in breaching the “15 sentences” embargo for which you and only you are sentenced to.
There was a plan hatched to throw me the kwailan kia into the deep blue southchina sea during the last kelong trip. I took them on 1 by 1 and none dared to walk near me……..except later to come hugging me to pledge allegiance and since then, I can never love them enough.
So the point is, we sometimes need to fight before we ever get close. It’s a good learning experience for Chin Boon to know this unique SHC culture we all help evole, shape and uphold. I dont think anyone shd demand an apology from him as almost every folk has said enough for him to be so intoxicated that he will never be able to drive straight again – in a car or at the green.
Parick,
Ref: calling his actions as unlawful.
I wonder which part is deemed unlawful and what is the lawful charge you are accusing him of?
Well, the word “unlawful” in my sentence means disallowed or wrong, it does not necesarily to do with LAW, my perception is, within the SHC culture, is it nice for any SHC member to do or say something that hurts others’ feelings?I am sure the Founder would not allow such person to post something that really hurt others’ feelings. It really hurts, do you know it takes time to heel especially those who have gone through those episode and now you are putting salt on the wound. Though, some try not to take things personally but human feelings are difficult to control.I am sure you agree with me unless you are hard hearted.
A newbie like me, I really don’t know many members yet, but when I met some nice people, I thought SHC is a nice place to get to know new/old friends but…………..
Tan CB’s post has really made me uncomfortable especially I have just opened up myself recently, put yourself in my shoes and you will understand what I mean.
I really thank some of the SHC members who do standby the SHC ladies.
Karen,
I know you feel angry to that T.C.B.’s post, I don’t blame you because I understand how you feel,but “Anger clouds one’s mind.” especially those people who deal with arts, they are perfectionist as I am one, too. I do agree with you that when one makes a mistake, one should make an apology as Chinese saying goes “zhong yan ni er”, its up to him to do so. Though, I have not met you, I sincerely hope that you will get over it.
My Mum & Dad always thought me, “when you start with something, you need to complete it gracefully.”, with one of this elements in my life, I have done well in many things through my life.
Warmest Regards!
Well done Nancy.
I stand by what i concluded……
IT is ironical that while we wrestle over the stench that CCB had emitted, he is history as far as this forum is concerned.
No doubt MUCH DAMAGE has been done, and no amount of “sweet” words, however manipulative, can clear the stench.
We are therefore entitled to our opinion of him, explicitly demonstrated or otherwise.
Nevertheless, lets move on. My parting shot is – kindness begets kindness, and the reverse is damn true too.
Hi Daniel Kang,
Thanks plenty for standing by through this unpleasant, stenchful & irritable episode of Mr Tan C B.
Daniel Chan2610,
I sincerely thank you,too for standing up for SHC ladies, very much appreciated.
Have a wonderful Sunday to both Daniels!
Hi Daniel C,
“IT is ironical that while we wrestle over the stench that CCB had emitted, he is history as far as this forum is concerned.”
BTW who is CCB? Another guy? Is there a posting from him? What did he/she say?
Cheers
Hi, I just registered to be a member of SHC a few hrs ago. I came across your web page and though that this could be a good place to meet and make new friends. I’ve been a widow for the past 3 years, and have since moved on with life. It wasn’t an easy journey, but with support and love from family and FRIENDS I’ve made it with less bruises.
I read Chin Boon’s posting above, and am concerned but reading through, I am reassured that there are more gracious people at SHC.
To Charles – Oooops…sorry…fast finger poor eyesight – an extra C
To NMTan – U are welcome. It is just a matter of principle on my part.
Best regards.
Hi Sharon,
Nice to meet you here, glad that you have moved on with life,I sincerely wish you all the best!
Take care.
Hi Chin Boon and everybody,
This Post is now closed.
Terence Seah