I just received a very meaningful article published by Steven Chia in his blog at Channel NewsAsia website; thought I like to share with you ….
START I’ve just come back from Melbourne having spent about 2 weeks there. It’s a trip we make about twice a year since my wife’s parents live there. So it’s nice to have family to go back to but I think this particular trip was special also because my in laws are quite a bit older. (My father in law is in his 90s!) It’s special because I think Lucy (my two and a half year old) was able to energize the house. She was a “noise maker”, but in a good way because I think she really gave them a new lease of life and of course, being grandparents, they doted on her – which she loved!
It’s also been an eye opener because you begin to see what it’s like for parents when all their children have left home and they are left on their own. My wife is from a family of 6 kids so you can just imagine the kind of “noise” that occurred on a daily basis. Then suddenly, it’s all gone, one day you realize the house is quiet and you’re back to where you were before the kids came. And it’s not like you prepared for it. You were so busy with raising the family and working that it creeps up on you and it just surprises you one day.
I got a small taste of that in the lead up to this trip because my wife and daughter had gone up 2 weeks ahead of me. So for 2 weeks, I was on my own. I left an empty house and I came back to an empty house and it really wasn’t the same. It felt like the house was far too big and pointless. Again a reminder that it’s not much point having all these material “luxury” goods if you don’t get to enjoy it with anyone.
And the great thing about kids is that they are not picky. They don’t judge people before they’ve met them. They don’t see age, race, gender…it’s all the same to them, so there is no discrimination. That’s why we speak about the innocence and purity of youth, unfortunately, it’s something that fades with time and we can’t “bring it back” no matter how hard we try to. Once you’ve been hurt, been let down, been disappointed by others, you can’t help but be more skeptical about the world.
It’s funny because it seems the more we learn, the worst life seems to get. From a very simplistic point of view, ignorance is bliss and life without all the complications of being an adult really is a lot more enjoyable. Think of a kid’s life…eat, sleep, play, eat, play, sleep…never a care in the world, how great is that!
So once again this time off has made me treasure my family more. I’m reminded of the importance of spending time with the people you care about. Too often we get caught up in the desire to achieve more, to earn more, to have better stuff…but do we really need it? Think of the happiest times you’ve had with your family or your loved ones…did that really cost you a lot of money? And imagine how great it would be if you could spend more time having those “moments” than spending lots of money later on trying to “recreate” those moments. A moment cannot be replaced or replicated. That’s why it’s a moment, that’s why it’s special.
The way I see it, I’m going to try and grab as many of those moments as I can…
END
"It’s the little things you do that can make a big difference. What are you attempting to accomplish? What little thing can you do today that will make you more effective? You are probably only one step away from greatness." – Bob Proctor
Hey Patsy Lim
It is indeed a lovely, meaningful article. Thanks for sharing it with us. It makes me recall some of my own special “moments” which never fail to cheer me up or make me chuckle at the memories, especially those with my daughters growing up.
I had always taken their presence in the home a little for granted and now, with one married, the home seems emptier. I wonder what it will be like with the younger one also married?
When they were kids, there were always activities and ‘noise’ and moments of ‘peace and quiet’ were rare.
Now, the situation is reversed and the only’cure’ for that is ….. grandchildren! When? I don’t know but I hope soon. Hehe.
In the meantime, I should try and enjoy the ‘liberty’ I have. So, on with the gallivanting, lunches, teas, MJ(?),Scrabble(?), walks, dancing……Seems like I should have enough stuff to do, don’t you think?
;-)
Hi Mary,
Glad you enjoyed the article as I did!
It’s about empty nest, it’s about time with our loved ones, it’s about creating good memories and it’s about our priorities in life.
It would be sad if we “worked” so hard but at the end of the day don’t get to enjoy it with someone!
Let’s all take time to connect with people (be it loved ones, family members, friends, SHC members, etc) to create those special moments for them and for us.
Time is finite. Once you recognized that you moved on much faster. I am currently reading this book entitled “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch; it’s about this professor who has liver cancer and only a short time to live. (The same situation like “Tuesday with Morris” by Mitch Albom.)
We need reminders like these, once in a while; to stop and look and see where we are heading.
Warmest Regards,
Patsy
#1 Mary Chan & #2 Patsy Lim – wow, ladies, exactly my sentiments. Really enjoy reading it, thanks for sharing it. Btw, who’s Steven Chia? Cheers.
Thanks Patsy for sharing this piece.
This is one story that I do not have to read several times to comprehend the meaning of it.
Thanks Patsy for sharing the lovely article with us.
Enjoyed reading it very much.
Warmest Regards
Caroline Gee
Patsy,
‘Tuesday with Morrie’ was so sad. I read it halfway and had to put it aside as it was making me quite depressed. When I finally finished it, I shed a few tears for the poor chap. Is the ‘Last Lecture’ like that?
Yes, we all suffer from the empty nest syndrome to some extent, don’t we? That’s why we need to do things to keep occupied.
Hi Patsy….I like Steven Chia very much…great to read what he wrote…thanks.
btw how to go to his blog?…:-)
Hi Florence @#3
I will let Steven Chia introduce himself:
“A broadcast journalist by profession, my day job sees me hosting a programme called Primetime Morning on Channel News Asia which covers a spectrum of news, business, sports and entertainment. It’s a morning news programme to help you kick start the day.
My other full time job is being a Dad to my little girl Lucy and my third job sees me volunteering on a variety of community projects with organizations such as the YMCA of Singapore and the National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre.”
Hi June @#7
You can access his blog directly at http://blogs.channelnewsasia.com/steven-chia/ However, you can find many bloggers at http://www.channelnewsasia/blogs/
like Suzanne Jung and others. Happy reading!
Hi Mary @#8
TUESDAY WITH MORRIE
Yes, I agree it is, indeed, very touching and melancholic. It recounted the deterioration of Morrie as he fought ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease which degenerated his motor neurons that control voluntary muscle and became fatal eventually. But his mind was still sharp and lucid as he shared life’s greatest lesson(s) with his student, Mitch.
As I flipped through the book once again, and re-read those parts that I had underlined and highlighted, I am once more reminded of the wisdom in them.
The followings are some excerpts:
– “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
– “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves.”
– “Love wins. Loves always wins”
– “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
– “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let love come in.”
– “Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.”
– “But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive.”
– “Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.”
– His aphorism: “Don’t let go too soon, but don’t hang on too long.”
It’s a good read, will highly recommend it to anyone!
THE LAST LECTURE
It’s about this computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon who had pancreatic cancer which was beyond cure; treatment given was to ease symptoms and buy a few months.
He married late at age 39 and had three young sons of age 5, 2 and 1. This book was a legacy for his children to know him; to know what he was like as a person, the dreams he had fulfilled and etc. He also wanted to impart life’s lessons to his children as he will not be around with them. Going through this “ordeal” had also helped shaped and shifted his attitude and focus in life.
He died recently on 25th July 2008.
#8 Patsy Lim:
Thanks Patsy. Now I realise Steve Chia’s the news anchor. Nice & pleasant guy. What an asset for Mediacorp.
May I share this website with SHCians who are interested in reading/books? (Maybe some of you already know it). From Oprah Winfrey’s BookClub http://www.oprah.com I’m reading MARIANNE WILLIAMSON’s “The Age of Miracles – Embracing the new midlife”. How true. Remember when we were 8 or 9 and we could not wait to be older? My friends and I have a standard answer when we are asked the age of our kids:14 – 15 – 16 – going on 21! (I’ve a 16 year old).
Cheers, & Happy Reading!
(In my school days my favorite authors were Enid Blyton – read almost all the Famous Five & Secret Seven books!He he. Then “graduated” to Agatha Christie’s. Danielle Steele’s high on my list too…and many more. Hey, how about starting our own SHC BookClub… and maybe one day we can say: Oprah, eat your heart out…yeah right, dream on!).