Hi All SHCians, this was from Lee Patrick SJ which I had post on his behalf for this time only.
So Patrick, next time, you have post on your own liao.. ok… Dolly
~ For Those Over 55 Years Old ~
Some recipients below 55 included : )
Read and get on with celebrating your life!
Time is like a river . . .
You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow has passed and will never pass again.
– For those who are already 55, start practicing.
– For those almost 55, get ready.
– For those where 55 is a long way off, help your parents do it.
For Those Over 55 Years Old :
1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.
2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the healthy years you have left.
3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle.
4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don’t be their full time baby sitter.
Don’t have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone’s kids, including your own grandkids.
Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults,
5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the ageing process.
Enjoy whatever your health can allow.
6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. STOP working hard for what you do not have.
7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends.
Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.
8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others.
Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.
Death is the beginning of a new and better life.
So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life towards the realms of eternity.
You are the children of the universe.
Desiderata
A poem of peace – truth – spirit – life
How to live at peace with God
and your soul in this world
“You are a child of the universe …”
………..
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
Hello Dolly,
Very the kam sia. You are an angel.
Will learn from you the next time.
Hi
Another reason to celebrate is it’s International Women’s Day today.
Behind Every Man is a Successful Woman.
Oh, not quite right?
Joy
Hi Patrick,
I like point 5 on accepting physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the ageing process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.
Nowadays, I noticed that each day, I feel a little pain your and there. Then I think of joining Suzhang for soup, ChristinaCL for walks and Jade for the monthly walks, hoping that those little pains will disappear. But, they dont seem to disappear. I read somewhere about “Living with pains”, and so, I now bear with them.
Today’s Sunday Times covers a few pages on nursing homes and where to stay when one cannot walk anymore. Gosh! What exciting moments in our lives. CharlesW, we live in a beautiful world. Let’s enjoy it.
Terence
Hi Lee Patrick S J,
Reading your posts sounds like a leaf taken from a textbook with living concepts expounded by a Western pure-bred. But of course I know you are a Chinese.
So speaking as a Chinese with all its cultural traits and rich history (and proud of it too), can I ask whether you truly practise what you preached ?, when you said:- quote
1) Don’t leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about.
2) By leaving too much, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.
3) Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don’t be their full time baby sitter.
4) You have no moral obligation to take care of them.
5) Don’t have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone’s kids, including your own grandkids.
6) Your duties of child-rearing and baby sitting are finished, let your children raise their own off-springs.
7) Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. STOP working hard for what you do not have. If you don’t have them, its probably too late. Unquote.
Well, Lee Patrick, In my opinion, your lifestyle sounds very unreal in Singapore’s economic context and Asian cultural background.
Having said that, you have your inherent right to choose your way to live. It’s just my 2 cents worth of opinion.
Pat Chan
Hello Charles, Joy, Terence and Pat Chan,
Thanks for the comments.
Life destiny is in our own hand. All sufferings come from self, unable to accept the true substances of living. Reality is oblique. As we aged, health is paramount, but we are at the mercy of our own metamorphosis. Terence said it right, we live in a beautiful world, just enjoy it. That is optimism. The other side of light is darkness.
Our modern world, with great demographic pattern of change
in the family becoming smaller, can never be compared with
the days of my parents, where greater filial piety was displayed. There will always be exceptions.
Maybe my personal encounter with many cases of neglect in my volunteer work with elderly folks, open up my perspective of thoughts. The youth of today, many live in an artificial world of indulgence and materialistic ostentation, chasing their lofty dreams in a world of impermanence. In so doing,
they lose the human aspect of simple loving care for even their own parents. My take is, as I have provided the best
to my children, it is time we enjoy our golden years . The quality of life cannot be accentuated with possessions. Happiness is the inward feeling of simple joy of life, where there is no inhibition to do what we like. A modern world adapts to the value of change, discarding traditional
norms. One generation surpasses another. Our children are the modern child of the universe. Most will do better than us. We will all live in the silhouette of their success.
And as parents we will feel euphoric to our children’s achievements. They may or may not share their beautiful
dreams with us. We must live our quality life too. For it will be too late when the evening shadow tinges our brows,
we will regret that we never wholeheartedly enjoy the events of the SILVERHAIRS CLUB enough to justify TERENCE SEAH’S effort as a founder.
The true essence of happiness in life is eroded due to
our inability (as parents) to let go the grasp of our emotional abyss.
Hi Patrick,
Just be there for them when they need us.
G/parenting is a wonderful experience part-time or full-time with Help from Maid.
Patrick, are you a G/father yet? Hope you’ll make the best G/father your G/child can have.
Btw, even western G/parents make excellent G/parents too. That’s how the saying, “doting G/parents” came about, I think. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Keep the opinions coming. No right or wrong .Just opinions only.
Goodnight.
Geok Suan.
Hello Geok Suan,
Thank you for sharing the joy of human interaction.
Yes! as parents,G/parents we will love our children/grandchildren unconditionally. Love can be in many forms.I am looking forward to be a G/parent
next month from my elder daughter.
I can vividly reminisce the joy of parenthood, seeing
the innocence of the child growing up. Those were the best
years of delight. My wish is for the modern
generation of children to have a more compassionate feeling for the old parents who brought them up.
My feelings are mutual. My mother is 92 years old. We
employed a maid to look after her. I love my mother.
It is pointless, (as a pragmatic man) if we are unable to
bestow genuine love to our parents and then shed crocodile
tears when death robbed them away. And the fight begins on the distribution of the will. Family battles to court.
The years teach much which the days never known. As our children come of age, our responsibility as a parent diminished, our children will be father to our G/children. Quietly,we rejoice the experience of being a doting G/parent taking the back sit in transition passively.
The cycle of life and human procreation is a natural
concomitant of our perennial existence. Along the way
the chapter of life enacts with each individual’s different encounter and endeavours, till the curtain is drawn. Then the stage is reset for a new beginning.
The end destiny is our own take. So, we make the best of our Silver years going into Golden with joyful anticipation.
Cheers
Hi Patrick,
Congratulations and glad to know that you will be the best G/father to your G/child soon.
We are EOs (entertainment officers) as my D-I-Law says, in the eyes of the little ones who would look forward each day to our visits. Enjoy these moments.
Geok Suan.
Congratulations Patrick on your G/father status that is akan datang.
My oldest daughter got married last May and I am still waiting for news. Looks like I have to wait a while more.
I wonder if you all read about a letter from a reader to the forum on seeking the authoristies to make it a law for children to take care of their aged parent. If it has to come to that stage, then it takes away the joy of receiving it.
I guess if I am asked by my daughters to help in looking after their children, I will do so gladly. But I think it will be good for them to spend more of their time bonding with their children. It will good for them to appreciate the joy of bringing up their children themselves, what we have already experienced.
Patrick, you are right about giving the best to our parents when they are still alive. If they are treated shabbily nothing can make up for it when they are gone.
Few years down the road, I would love to relax and enjoy life and live one day at a time. Learn to let go and free the mind of unpleasant feelings (if any). Visit the children and grandchildren (when I have them) and enjoy them while I can.
Just waiting for my youngest to graduate in three years time. Be there for the children when they need me. Take up more hobbies, enjoy my singing and dancing, bake more breads and cakes and enjoy life as much as possible.
Talk only lah. When they start calling for mummy’s help, I will pack my bag and take the first flight out heeeee!
Have a great week ahead everyone :)
Cheers
Caroline Gee
Thank you, Geok Suan and Caroline. Well said.
Carol,I beat you in the race to be the most charismatic
grandfather in a month’s time, HaHaHa ! Forever young.
Food for thought: By American poet H.W. Longfellow
“Lives of great people all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time”. – unquote.
Cheers
Leepatrick
My dear Caroline,
Enjoy yourself before the grandkids come. My 8 year-old grandson is keeping me & hubby forever young & active – swiming, crabbing, fishing, chinese chess…See you in April.
Hi Patrick,
Thanks for sharing. My dad is a loving 92-year old great-grandfather of 15 great-grandkids. Family gatherings were noisy big events which we took turns to organise. He is still very active in gardening and fishing. Besides showing gratitude to our parents, we also have to help our aging siblings. Like me, most of our siblings are grandparents who enjoy looking after grandkids & we have heaps to share.
Dear Mary
Thanks for the advice. Will need more when grandchildren come along.
And I agree that your father is a very nice man. Really enjoyed my chit chat with him.
Looking forward to seeing you again in April :D
Patrick – you have my vote to be the most charismatic granddad cos I would never be one as I want to be a grandma heee!
Cheers
Caroline
Hello folks,
Add 1 more..Send Ah Kong to JB (With Lyric and Sing along)
Cut & paste this url and Enjoy the singing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyEZII_MJDw
Enjoy!
Hi Rene #14,
I think the video makes JB even more tempting as a nursing home for Ah Kong. Maybe as we get older, we need not be sentimental or nostalgic over where we live, just got to be practical, and if there are friends and the dollar stretches 20 – 30% longer, why not?
Terence
Dear Caroline #10,
“Mummy’s help…. pack my back and take the first flight out…” U mean take millions step and MIA(missing in action)is it?? Ai-yo, if that the case mission is impossible;just kidding!!!
Rgds
Rose White
Hahaha dear Rosna
You are so cute :) Ya take a million steps and go with you to joget and boogie cos I know how you can shake your booty so well! Heee!
Cheers
Caroline Gee